Does your 7.5 yr old still throw tantrums?

[Anonymous]

You can speak for your kids, and possibly those of your very closest friends or siblings, if you're around the kids many hours a week. But beyond that, you really can't say. My dc is very charming much of the time, but tantrums persist--at home, in private.

We can only comment on what's normal behavior for our own children? What if OP's child was 15? Can we comment on whether it's normal for a 15 yo to have tantrums, or only on whether it's normal for our OWN 15 yo? "Normal" is a range, but there are still parameters of what constitutes normal behavior.

OP, my 7-yo does not have tantrums. I can't recall the last one but it has been years. My older kids also stopped before age 7.

[Anonymous]

No. They stopped by the time he was about 4.

[Anonymous]

OP, describe what you mean by tantrum. Stomping around a bit, whining, some tears, even some throwing - I don't really consider that a tantrum and I imagine it's common behavior in 7 year olds. However, full-on rages, falling on the floor licking and screaming for lengths of time (as is typical in toddlerhood) - I would imagine that is less typical, especially if it's happening frequently.

[Anonymous]

^^ meant kicking, not licking.

[Anonymous]

PP again - perhaps tantrums are more common in older children who have a highly sensitive nature. So it's hard to say what's "normal" without knowing all of the variables.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for the feedback. Seems like he's somewhere juuuuust north of middle- he is a little on the sensitive side so the behavior may take longer to subside than other kids. Agree they're all different.

[Anonymous]

OP, my 7.5yo doesn't tantrum, at least in the sense of the drama we dealt with throughout the toddler and preschool days. The last really awful tantrums that I can remember were in the first few weeks of K, more than 2 years ago; he had a newish sibling at the time so that might have contributed. The one consistent issue is transitioning away from fun activities - when he was little, dragging him out of a friend's house basically involved hand-to-hand combat. It's tons better now, but he still prolongs the end of playdates and sulks when he has to leave a friend - that's the one area that I wish we could improve. Lately though I see some moodiness and occasional disrespect - nothing horrible, but makes me wonder if we're now on the precipice of tween BS. My son will still hold my hand in public and give me hugs unashamedly... but I wonder how much longer that will last. We may all look back on tantrums as the easy part!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the feedback. Seems like he's somewhere juuuuust north of middle- he is a little on the sensitive side so the behavior may take longer to subside than other kids. Agree they're all different.

We're the tantrums a new thing or have always been there? Could be regulatory issues.

[Anonymous]

Daughter, yes, every day. Such drama. From other parents I gather 7 is a tough year with girls generally. My son, on the other hand, no, very rare. But, he has never been a big tantrumn thower or big on drama. Pretty chill guy, even at 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You can speak for your kids, and possibly those of your very closest friends or siblings, if you're around the kids many hours a week. But beyond that, you really can't say. My dc is very charming much of the time, but tantrums persist--at home, in private.

We can only comment on what's normal behavior for our own children? What if OP's child was 15? Can we comment on whether it's normal for a 15 yo to have tantrums, or only on whether it's normal for our OWN 15 yo? "Normal" is a range, but there are still parameters of what constitutes normal behavior.

OP, my 7-yo does not have tantrums. I can't recall the last one but it has been years. My older kids also stopped before age 7.

I'm the pp you quoted. I was objecting to the statement, "My kids stopped tantrumming in their early toddler years, as did the kids of my friends, my siblings, my kids' classmates, etc." My response was, "You can speak for your kids, and possibly those of your very closest friends or siblings, if you're around the kids many hours a week. But beyond that, you really can't say." Perhaps what I should have said was, "You can speak to whether or not your kids routinely have tantrums, and possibly whether those of your very closest friends or siblings have tantrums. But beyond that, you really don't know whether kids are having tantrums at home or not."

Lots of things are not acceptable--such as elementary schoolers having tantrums--so their parents are not going to advertise the fact. Is it normal? I guess that's what OP was trying to find out by asking about parents' personal experiences with their kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp you quoted. I was objecting to the statement, "My kids stopped tantrumming in their early toddler years, as did the kids of my friends, my siblings, my kids' classmates, etc." My response was, "You can speak for your kids, and possibly those of your very closest friends or siblings, if you're around the kids many hours a week. But beyond that, you really can't say." Perhaps what I should have said was, "You can speak to whether or not your kids routinely have tantrums, and possibly whether those of your very closest friends or siblings have tantrums. But beyond that, you really don't know whether kids are having tantrums at home or not."

Lots of things are not acceptable--such as elementary schoolers having tantrums--so their parents are not going to advertise the fact. Is it normal? I guess that's what OP was trying to find out by asking about parents' personal experiences with their kids.

And, I'm the original PP you quoted. If you read, my response was to a mom who said that she thought tantrumming in a 7 year old was normal because her kid did it. I was disagreeing because of the many friends and relatives I know, no one's kids tantrum at that age. If it were normal, then I would think that I would know at least one kid who tantrums at age 7.

[Anonymous]

PP here (the one who thinks it's still normal at this age). From the posts I've seen, it seems like some kids at this age have tantrums; some don't. What I think we may differ on is the definition of a tantrum. When I said I think it's still normal at this age, I wasn't talking about the down-on-the-floor, screaming tantrums of the toddler years. Maybe we have different ideas of what an elementary school-age tantrum is... In any case, I think we're seeing anecdotal evidence from this thread that some kids at this age still have them. Maybe we can ask what are some good strategies for dealing with them. As I said earlier, if DS realizes there are no rewards to be had from his acting out, he seems to realize that the behavior is kind of futile. For him, I don't think it's an issue of self-control. It's a strategy to see if DH or I will cave in and let him have his way. Not rewarding the behavior seems to work. For those whose DC are having serious tantrums that don't respond to typical strategies, it might be good to get advice from your pediatrician or another professional.

[Anonymous]

DD is 8 and is having a tantrum right now b/c she doesn't want to do her math and I won't let her watch tv until she does it. She is stomping on the floor, crying and generally fighting what she has to do.

I don't think "most" kids are this way, but it's what we have to deal with. Some kids are more mature, some kids are less mature.

[Anonymous]

Kids having tantrums past toddlerhood is not normal. I'm not talking a kid being mad or down or annoyed with mom and dad but screaming, crying, throwing oneself on the ground and the like is NOT something elementary kids should be doing. Problem is when they are toddlers and you don't correct the behavior and instead redirect or ignore ENDLESSLY, they don't learn the self-regulation necessary to stop themselves, so they just keep doing it right through the middle years.

[Anonymous]

OP here again - thank you, this has been very helpful.