11YO DD refuses to use TP when she pees

[Anonymous]

Pull up a website about yeast infections. Tell her that dampness and dirty underwear cause this. It worked for my 12 yo dd. I told her that you could get mossy pitts from not taking daily showers and using deodorant. I don't think your DD has a pelvic floor disorder ignore Miss Hippie above, I think she is a normal 11 year old. We have to re-teach them basic skills as they get older. They seem to forget.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who acknowledged that my response was going to come across as "crazy" to some. I'm not offended by 18:43's comment but could 18:43 help me understand why the suggestion I posted leads to identifying me as "Miss Hippie" (is it that the response is a throw-back to a "hippie" lifestyle? How so? If it's my use of the word "organic" maybe I was using the term incorrectly or at least confusedly and I do want to clarify that -- in this instance, I meant "organic" as a reference to something originating naturally/i.e. from the body). I don't want to derail the post; all that really matters is that OP and her daughter get on a track that's better for them both. Just curious about the connection between "Miss Hippie" label and what I wrote (for my own clarification). Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I don't like to catastrophize but is this new? Because a sudden refusal to wipe or deal with toileting issues can be a sign of sexual abuse. I went through this as a young child after being molested. Your daughter may be doing this as a way of protecting herself and as a way of not dealing with her genitals.

I could be off base, but I don't think punishing her or getting annoyed with her is what I would do first. I would talk about what's going on.

[Anonymous]

OH MY GOD this conversation is getting weirder and weirder. I think perhaps your daught is exhibiting symptoms of being abducted by aliens in the night and being forced to watch reruns of Different Strokes. Get a diagnosis quick op!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she has some fear or other issue. I had a babysitter tell me if I touched myself I would go to hell when I was like 7 and it scared the hell out of me. Is it possible that she has some other piece of misinformation?

Agreed. How does she feel about her body in general? Is she disgusted? Has she been told pleasuring herself is wrong or harmful?

[Anonymous]

is your daughter washing herself with water after she pees? meaning she is washing her vagina with water, but not using TP? reaching for another possibility here...

[Anonymous]

totally wrong to call pp "miss hippie" -- that pp was clearly trying to be helpful and posted a genuine and thoughtful response, just in case it is NOT normal 11yr old behavior. you have NO idea if the girl has a problem or not, and it is good that someone brought up a medical reason that could be causing this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I have had this problem with my now 8 YO. I was quite adamant with her that it is unacceptable. I told her that if I caught her not wiping, there would be unnamed consequences (loss of priveleges etc.). I let her see that I was really upset about this. I don't want her to be that smelly kid in school! Strangely she loves showers however; she'll stay in there for an hour if I don't make her get out.

Yup...those are the things I say as well. You mention that your DD loves showers....mine does too. I can't get her into one but twice per week, but when she does get in, she takes f o r e v e r !! DH and I have been on her for 2 years about all this and she still fails to comply. She also gives us heartache about using deoderant. she IS that stinky kid in school and it breaks my heart that this will probably affect her socially. She is a redshirted september baby, so she is almost a year older than some of her peers. I can only hope that by the time THEY hit her stage, she has started her period and cleaned up her act. That is my hope!!!

I was more develped as a kid and I was really embarrased to be going through so many physical changes when none of my friends were. It was a really hard to deal with as a kid because the other kids didn't get it and wouldn't understand at least for another year or two. Is it possible as the oldest kid your DD may resent that she has all these changes - needing deoderant when her friends don't for example - and this is her weird way of rebelling against the changes?

[Anonymous]

This is merely the first stage to becoming a vegan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is merely the first stage to becoming a vegan

You, I like!

[Anonymous]

Inattentive children do this sometimes. Does she have ADHD or is unusually forgetful or disorganized?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:anyone else have a pre-teen DD that refuses to wipe?

Your daughter has a boyfriend. She perceives that, after intercourse, there is still some of "him" inside her and she doesn't want to wipe any of "him" away.

It is similar to girls at a concert who touch the star, or the stage where the star has stood, and claim she won't wash her hands ever again because she touched a place where "he" has been.

Even urinating, your daughter perceives that some of "him" is washing away from her and she is pained to see the mingled essence of her pee-pee and a part of "him" flow away, so she refuses to
flush because it is too painful to bear that even a tiny cell of "him" should depart from her.

She is in love, she is overwhelmed by "him", and won't flush or wipe because it represents a parting from the desired situation of being 100% intertwined with one another.

I suggest, being the good momma you are, to take her to the clinic to get checked out. Also, check her homework and notebooks while you are at it. You may see doodles of love all over the papers.

Good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:anyone else have a pre-teen DD that refuses to wipe?

Your daughter has a boyfriend. She perceives that, after intercourse, there is still some of "him" inside her and she doesn't want to wipe any of "him" away.

It is similar to girls at a concert who touch the star, or the stage where the star has stood, and claim she won't wash her hands ever again because she touched a place where "he" has been.

Even urinating, your daughter perceives that some of "him" is washing away from her and she is pained to see the mingled essence of her pee-pee and a part of "him" flow away, so she refuses to
flush because it is too painful to bear that even a tiny cell of "him" should depart from her.

She is in love, she is overwhelmed by "him", and won't flush or wipe because it represents a parting from the desired situation of being 100% intertwined with one another.

I suggest, being the good momma you are, to take her to the clinic to get checked out. Also, check her homework and notebooks while you are at it. You may see doodles of love all over the papers.

Good luck with that.

Thank you Monica Lewinsky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:anyone else have a pre-teen DD that refuses to wipe?

Your daughter has a boyfriend. She perceives that, after intercourse, there is still some of "him" inside her and she doesn't want to wipe any of "him" away.

It is similar to girls at a concert who touch the star, or the stage where the star has stood, and claim she won't wash her hands ever again because she touched a place where "he" has been.

Even urinating, your daughter perceives that some of "him" is washing away from her and she is pained to see the mingled essence of her pee-pee and a part of "him" flow away, so she refuses to
flush because it is too painful to bear that even a tiny cell of "him" should depart from her.

She is in love, she is overwhelmed by "him", and won't flush or wipe because it represents a parting from the desired situation of being 100% intertwined with one another.

I suggest, being the good momma you are, to take her to the clinic to get checked out. Also, check her homework and notebooks while you are at it. You may see doodles of love all over the papers.

Good luck with that.

How long did it take you to write this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:anyone else have a pre-teen DD that refuses to wipe?

Your daughter has a boyfriend. She perceives that, after intercourse, there is still some of "him" inside her and she doesn't want to wipe any of "him" away.

It is similar to girls at a concert who touch the star, or the stage where the star has stood, and claim she won't wash her hands ever again because she touched a place where "he" has been.

Even urinating, your daughter perceives that some of "him" is washing away from her and she is pained to see the mingled essence of her pee-pee and a part of "him" flow away, so she refuses to
flush because it is too painful to bear that even a tiny cell of "him" should depart from her.

She is in love, she is overwhelmed by "him", and won't flush or wipe because it represents a parting from the desired situation of being 100% intertwined with one another.

I suggest, being the good momma you are, to take her to the clinic to get checked out. Also, check her homework and notebooks while you are at it. You may see doodles of love all over the papers.

Good luck with that.

This is one of the craziest responses I've ever seen on dcum. (I know it's not serious. It is crazy)