The A**hole neighbors of mine

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. We live next to a bike path and when we put in driveway some jerk who lived further down made our lives a nightmare. We found out he called every agency to complain about us until he found someone who said *No that's wrong*. I felt even worse for our neighbors who had put in beautiful landscaping and had to rip it all out as it turned out almost their entire front yard is county use land.

I guess he felt that since he walked down the path every day he had the right to dictate what our yards looked like. We're outside all the time and our contractor is the sort of guy who likes to say hello and shoot the breeze a little with everyone he meets. You can't tell me that he couldn't come up and talk to us about what was going in before he sicced the county on us.

[Anonymous]

"I don't see the problem with your neighbor marking her yard with string. Have you seen the damage construction workers can do to a yard?"

I understand - it's totally passive aggressive, which is not what you'd expect from someone with whom you've been neighborly. But I agree with the kill them with kindness advice. My friend went through something similar when she did built a house in Bethesda (though she didn't live there beforehand), and after a good year of having many neighborhood parties at here house and doing many other nice things, everyone finally chilled out enough to be friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the problem with your neighbor marking her yard with string. Have you seen the damage construction workers can do to a yard? Who cares if you brought in her mail, etc. That was very nice of you, but the marking of her yard has nothing to do with you - it has to do with the workers. BFD.

Who cares its not like they can arrest you for walking over the line

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP. Sad - your neighbors' concerns are legitimate and normal, and what happened to courtesy, level-headedness and common sense to start out by contacting you directly? Would have been so easy and more productive, too.

As for the drainage, a hypothetical question for you. If they had come to you directly, what would you have done to respond to their questions? Could you still do it and pro-actively approach them? I have seen construction drainage issues affect neighbors (I'm in Bethesda too). My guess is that the county does not always catch problems in the permitting phase. Perhaps that is your neighbors' concern; nothing personal, they just want to be sure. Or, let the county spend the money to re-review the plans.

I would contact the neighbors so this doesn't spiral any more. For the parking issue. If you want to be strict with your contractor about where the workers can walk/park and or how courteous they are to neighbors, you can choose to be. And if your neighbor wants you to do this, they would do well to talk to you instead of just putting up string.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful response!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's very Bethesda. As soon as daughter is out of school, we are getting the h*ll out. I can't stand it.

2.) The neighbor with the string never takes care of the yard. It looks like cr*p! Sticks everywhere, crab grass, cable wire sticking out of the ground, uneven patches of grass and dirt.

3.) We are approachable and have worked before with the neighbors complaining about water runoff. Did they need to go behind our backs with big attorney mouths?

Bleech.

OP, you sound a bit crazy.
It does not matter how your neighbor keeps their yard. If they don't want people parking on their yard, they put a string up. Why is that so bad? If neighbors have came to you before about drainage and you are now remodeling, they have a right to be concerned about more drainage. They are probably fed up and took it to their attorneys.

Chill out OP. just because you give them gifts and watch their house, doesn't mean you get to ruin their house.

[Anonymous]

PP--you need to read the posts more carefully. She didn't say she had worked with the neighbors who went to the committe re: water drainage about any previous drainage issues. She said she had worked well with them on other issues. Before you call people "crazy" please understand what is being said here.

[Anonymous]

Our wonderful neighbors built an addition a few years ago. We all get along great but, really, that construction project really strained our relationship for awhile. After all, as their immediate neighbors, we had to put up with a lot of the headaches with none of the benefits. For instance, trucks backing down our shared driveway (beeping away) at 7 am, a porta-john on the line between our front yards, strange workers / trucks coming down the driveway ALL THE TIME (no way I could leave DC out there for even a few seconds to ride his bike), noise, noise, and more noise (even on the weekends - neighbor tried to keep all the work to the work week but, when the contractors ran short on time, they were hammering away on Sunday mornings too)! Their yard, which borders ours, was ripped up so all water flowed to our grass, leaving huge puddles. All the additional traffic on the shared drive resulted in cracks and divots. Thus, we all had to go in and reasphalt the drive when the work was completed. In the end, it was very, very difficult for us. They had a beautiful new addition and we had built-up resentment that we needed to sock away for the sake of peaceful living. All this to say, your neighbors should talk to you - yes. BUT you really need to consider their feelings and peace of mind. Just because your Architectural Review Board says it's okay, doesn't mean that the neighbors are particularly happy with your choices. It just means that they know that there is little they can do to stop it. Our neighbors did their best to go out of their way to make it easier on us (even if there was little they COULD do most of the time -- after all, they couldn't live in their house so they weren't even onsite most of the time!)) but it was still very difficult.

[Anonymous]

We did an addition several years ago. Before beginning, we invited all the neighbors over for a party, attended by both our general contractor and our architect. They gave their business cards to everyone and asked them to call directly with any concerns. Our neighbors definitely appreciated our taking the initiative, and no one seems to resent us now.

Another neighbor needed to get a variance to replace a porch. They canvassed the neighborhood first, spoke to all of us about what they were hoping to accomplish, and their variance was approved without a single person opposing.

I can't tell from your OP or your follow-up whether you did this with your affected neighbors or not.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, will you clarify: did you talk to your neighbors beforehand about the construction project?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our wonderful neighbors built an addition a few years ago. We all get along great but, really, that construction project really strained our relationship for awhile. After all, as their immediate neighbors, we had to put up with a lot of the headaches with none of the benefits. For instance, trucks backing down our shared driveway (beeping away) at 7 am, a porta-john on the line between our front yards, strange workers / trucks coming down the driveway ALL THE TIME (no way I could leave DC out there for even a few seconds to ride his bike), noise, noise, and more noise (even on the weekends - neighbor tried to keep all the work to the work week but, when the contractors ran short on time, they were hammering away on Sunday mornings too)! Their yard, which borders ours, was ripped up so all water flowed to our grass, leaving huge puddles. All the additional traffic on the shared drive resulted in cracks and divots. Thus, we all had to go in and reasphalt the drive when the work was completed. In the end, it was very, very difficult for us. They had a beautiful new addition and we had built-up resentment that we needed to sock away for the sake of peaceful living. All this to say, your neighbors should talk to you - yes. BUT you really need to consider their feelings and peace of mind. Just because your Architectural Review Board says it's okay, doesn't mean that the neighbors are particularly happy with your choices. It just means that they know that there is little they can do to stop it. Our neighbors did their best to go out of their way to make it easier on us (even if there was little they COULD do most of the time -- after all, they couldn't live in their house so they weren't even onsite most of the time!)) but it was still very difficult.

This is the typical bitter attitude of the bethesda bungalow dwellers. They will get all pissy if you decide to build a normal sized house (they call it a mcmansion) on your own property. It's not our fault you want a midget house or can't afford a bigger one.

[Anonymous]

Wow. I'm the PP who lived through my neighbors' construction project. I live a long way from Bethesda and any McMansions. In fact, the neighbors couldn't even turn their bungalow into a McMansion due to our HOA constraints. I'm not entitled or pissy. I just wanted OP to realize that friendships are strained during a big construction project like that I described (and that OP described). She was mad that neighbors hired attorneys instead of talking to her first. I'm just saying that frustration leads people to do things that they wouldn't otherwise do and that, no matter how open you keep the lines of communication (as my neighbors did), it is very hard for those who are living next to you to suffer through something that YOU have chosen to inflict upon them. Call it whatever you like but I call it reality. Now, come out of your Bethesda McMansion, shake off your anger at the little people who can't afford your supposedly grand life, and join the real world.

[Anonymous]

So....should we all forgo any sort of remodeling so that we don't inconvenience our neighbors with noise or trucks or porta potties on our property during the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So....should we all forgo any sort of remodeling so that we don't inconvenience our neighbors with noise or trucks or porta potties on our property during the day?

Not at all what people are saying. But preparing neighbors for the level of disruption is the neighborly thing to do. Golden rule, people.

[Anonymous]

PP- Yes, of course. But still, some neighbors find a reason to b*tch even when they have been notified or when the people doing the remodeling go out of their way to make things easier and more comfortable on neighbors. PP said it was hard for them to live through something the remodeling neighbors chose to "inflict" on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our wonderful neighbors built an addition a few years ago. We all get along great but, really, that construction project really strained our relationship for awhile. After all, as their immediate neighbors, we had to put up with a lot of the headaches with none of the benefits. For instance, trucks backing down our shared driveway (beeping away) at 7 am, a porta-john on the line between our front yards, strange workers / trucks coming down the driveway ALL THE TIME (no way I could leave DC out there for even a few seconds to ride his bike), noise, noise, and more noise (even on the weekends - neighbor tried to keep all the work to the work week but, when the contractors ran short on time, they were hammering away on Sunday mornings too)! Their yard, which borders ours, was ripped up so all water flowed to our grass, leaving huge puddles. All the additional traffic on the shared drive resulted in cracks and divots. Thus, we all had to go in and reasphalt the drive when the work was completed. In the end, it was very, very difficult for us. They had a beautiful new addition and we had built-up resentment that we needed to sock away for the sake of peaceful living. All this to say, your neighbors should talk to you - yes. BUT you really need to consider their feelings and peace of mind. Just because your Architectural Review Board says it's okay, doesn't mean that the neighbors are particularly happy with your choices. It just means that they know that there is little they can do to stop it. Our neighbors did their best to go out of their way to make it easier on us (even if there was little they COULD do most of the time -- after all, they couldn't live in their house so they weren't even onsite most of the time!)) but it was still very difficult.

This is the typical bitter attitude of the bethesda bungalow dwellers. They will get all pissy if you decide to build a normal sized house (they call it a mcmansion) on your own property. It's not our fault you want a midget house or can't afford a bigger one.

You're funny. Wikipedia has a nice definition of McMansion
a type of large, new luxury house which is judged to be pretentious, tasteless, or — especially — incongruous for its neighborhood. Alternately, a McMansion can be a large, new house in a sub-division of similarly large houses, which all seem mass produced and lacking distinguishing characteristics, as well as at variance with the traditional local architecture.

The type of McMansions giong up in East Bethesda are of the first variety. They also seem to be poorly constructed for the prices they command.