People who cry easily and people who do not - ?

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting topic. I usually cry once a month, when I have PMS, but that's pretty much it. I feel sad (and moved) about stuff all the time, but I just never feel the urge to cry. It's not like I work to suppress it; it's just not there. I do wonder why this is! Sometimes, it makes me feel like an a-hole.

[Anonymous]

You are all in fine company.

http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/1111/Honoring_Neil_Armstrong_Boehner_cries_.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When bad things happen to me I find it impossible to cry. Yet when bad things happen to other people (whether I know them or not) I'm a mess. I find it bizarre.

Same here, I'm an earlier poster. I'm great in a personal crisis as well and really keep my head on my shoulders. I've had a few miscarriages and never cried over them, just figured that it was normal and natural. However, good god when I see someone else suffer, I can hardly take it. If I watch a sad documentary, I can be heard completely sobbing.

[Anonymous]

I'm the exact opposite of OP: I wish I could cry more! I cry maybe a handful of times per year, if that, and only when I get extremely frustrated about something (it has to be pretty extreme). I will get choked up from time to time, such as watching Oprah or when the winner of a favorite reality TV show is declared (Amazing Race, Top Chef), but that's about it. I dwell instead and often feel like a good cry would help me overcome something difficult in my life (e.g., serious illness, death in the family), but I'm just not able to do it no matter how hard I try. The downside is that people mistake me for lacking empathy, or not having any emotional feeling. It sucks!

[Anonymous]

I don't cry at the drop of a hat. But I do cry at weddings. (even someone I hardly know) When I hold a newborn baby (I don't care whose it is) When I hear the Star Spangled Banner, and when I see my kids sleeping. That sounds like a lot.....

[Anonymous]

I can control my breathing to suppress the urge to cry. I find it impossible to cry if I don't hold my breath. But, I don't cry often and it is probably easier for me to hold it back.

[Anonymous]

I tear up easily and my husband (who I jokily refer to as dead inside) tells me to "walk it off." LOL. Take deep breaths through your nose when you feel yourself getting over emotional. Sometimes it helps to just give in cry, then it is over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the exact same way, except I do not cry in response to being stressed or "hurt". I do not cry over emotion pain that is inflicted on me. In moments of pain, my response is normally anger.

HOWEVER, my empathy is off the charts. I cry for other people's sadness, I cry when I hear of a child hurt or harmed, I've even been brought to tears when I have seen a parent yelling harshly at a small child that I did not even know at the grocery store, I've cried dropping my happy child off at daycare when I've seen another child having a rough start. I also cry out of happiness-A LOT.

This is me. I probably cry about something in my own life once a year or once every other year, if even. But about tv commercials, natural disasters, the state of American education, birds with oil stuck to them, displays of patriotism - oh, the tears roll. Can be very embarrassing.

i never really thought about it, but i'm the same way. i get teary very easily about sentimental stuff, and sometimes parental pride, and sometimes emotional frustration. weird.

[Anonymous]

I hate how I tear up so easily. I teach at a university, and guess what happens when I cover the Holocaust? Not complaining about how I look when I cry - this isn't a vanity thing. It's a problem because, while most of the class is wonderful, there's always one or two students who see that sign of empathy as a sign of weakness. And then they pull some pretty extreme stunts.

I've actually sat down and watched a film 2 or 3 times just so I can prevent the tearing up, but then, class time comes around, I show the film, and: tear up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the exact opposite of OP: I wish I could cry more! I cry maybe a handful of times per year, if that, and only when I get extremely frustrated about something (it has to be pretty extreme). I will get choked up from time to time, such as watching Oprah or when the winner of a favorite reality TV show is declared (Amazing Race, Top Chef), but that's about it. I dwell instead and often feel like a good cry would help me overcome something difficult in my life (e.g., serious illness, death in the family), but I'm just not able to do it no matter how hard I try. The downside is that people mistake me for lacking empathy, or not having any emotional feeling. It sucks!

This is me too (except for the TV part). I rarely, rarely cry. I do more since having DC 2.5yrs ago, but it's still rare. I go cold and silent instead. My default response to upsetting things is to pull inside myself, like a snail, or to get angry and try and immediately fix the situation.

I've had to work hard to 'retrain' myself to show the empathy I feel for people. I do get very upset and take things to heart, it just doesn't come out like normal people. I'm not the person you come to if you want a shoulder to cry on about a bad break-up, I'm the person you come to when you need help with the logistics of moving out and leaving an ex behind. Does that make sense?

Expressing emotion is difficult for me and something I have to consciously make an effort at.

[Anonymous]

I cry at the drop of a hat, and it has been really embarrassing over the years. I'm a federal prosecutor, and crying in court is pretty much the worst thing a litigator could do. So far (knock wood) I've managed to avoid it, but I've cried in my office plenty of times. To make matters even more embarrassing, I cry not just when I am sad or get my feelings hurt, but also when I'm really angry or if I'm sleep-deprived.

Thinking about something completely non-emotional really does help. I think of whatever is the most mundane thing I can come up with at the given moment-- the weather report, a grocery list, baseball stats.

[Anonymous]

I used to cry easily but don't anymore. I attributed my crying tendencies to 1. age/immaturity/lacking a better way to handle various emotions and 2. stress, at the height of my crying I was working 60 hr a week, many of those hours graveyard shifts (48 of them and they were 12 hr nights) and going to school full time.

I think my hormones were out of whack from the lack of good sleep and down time. I don't cry often anymore though occasionally I get teary eyed at something or other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the exact opposite of OP: I wish I could cry more! I cry maybe a handful of times per year, if that, and only when I get extremely frustrated about something (it has to be pretty extreme). I will get choked up from time to time, such as watching Oprah or when the winner of a favorite reality TV show is declared (Amazing Race, Top Chef), but that's about it. I dwell instead and often feel like a good cry would help me overcome something difficult in my life (e.g., serious illness, death in the family), but I'm just not able to do it no matter how hard I try. The downside is that people mistake me for lacking empathy, or not having any emotional feeling. It sucks!

This is me too (except for the TV part). I rarely, rarely cry. I do more since having DC 2.5yrs ago, but it's still rare. I go cold and silent instead. My default response to upsetting things is to pull inside myself, like a snail, or to get angry and try and immediately fix the situation.

I've had to work hard to 'retrain' myself to show the empathy I feel for people. I do get very upset and take things to heart, it just doesn't come out like normal people. I'm not the person you come to if you want a shoulder to cry on about a bad break-up, I'm the person you come to when you need help with the logistics of moving out and leaving an ex behind. Does that make sense?

Expressing emotion is difficult for me and something I have to consciously make an effort at.

Me too! My DH and IL's are all criers, including the men (which is fine) and his family thinks I'm emotionally walled off. They're also big on hugging and kissing on the cheek, which is just not my style. But I'm the person you want in a crisis, I do a lot of crisis management in my work and deal with tough stuff, so it's good for me. But I do wish it was easier to convey the empathy I have for people without being emotional because people tend to think of me as cold. There have been times where I've wished I could cry and show an emotional response and just can't. Luckily, for some reason, I've been able to respond with tears when DH gets really emotional like at funerals. And I say this as someone who is 9mo pregnant and hasn't once had a pregnancy induced crying episode. So I guess it's hard to strike the balance between being seen as too emotional and cold.

[Anonymous]

I am not a crier at all really, although my mid thirties has done something to my hormones. In a crisis or emotional situation I am very calm and collected, almost get an adrenaline rush. When I get upset at work/home it tends to feel more like irritability not tears and I can get really snarky if I'm not careful. I don't know what is better - crying or being snarky! I rarely cry too even when tears are expected (i'm sad, funerals etc).

Since my mid thirtiees I have started misting up at sentimental events and also at tv shows where something really nice happens (winner of show, altruistic event). Even a movie now can get me misty eyed.

Actual tears rolling down my face - maybe once a year or two. Usually because I am overwhelmed by everything and it will all come out when I crawl into bed and I will have a good cry then its over.

[Anonymous]

Did you hear the latest study? It could be genetic:
http://www.npr.org/2011/11/18/142512092/strangers-can-spot-genetic-disposition-for-empathy