has Sandusky made you more scared

[Anonymous]

No, not any more scared. Living with PTSD from abuse has provided me with enough paranoia to last a lifetime. For everyone you hear about publicly, I'd bet there are thousands more that go unreported in the media and to the police. Considering the unreported ones is what keeps me vigilant. I don't check the offender registry for the same reason.

[Anonymous]

oh please, don't kid yourself that you can identify a child molester.

I bet you know one right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. Watching Sandusky on video clips, I can see red flags in his affect. So I'm fairly confident I'd be able to recognize and deal with someone like him, as I've done with other people with similar affects. On the other hand, it worries me that so many seem to have missed these visible red flags.

What red flags to you see in his affect?

I haven't watched videos of him -- can't bring myself to -- but I think I would spot someone creepy. I hope so.

I am curious about this too. I just watched a video of him on Youtube and even though I was looking for clues, I didn't see any red flags. Am I dense? I really want to know as I find it disturbing that I'm not seeing it!

DH went to Penn State as an undergrad and worked part-time in a sporting goods store. Paterno and Sandusky were his regular customers. He says, Paterno behaved sort of like an asshole at times, but Sandusky was the nicest guy ever. Pleasure to do business with.

Talk about "spotting someone creepy".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh please, don't kid yourself that you can identify a child molester.

I bet you know one right now.

If you belong to that unlucky club of former victims of child molesters, you do develop a sort of sixth sense that does enable you to identify child molesters hiding in plain sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh please, don't kid yourself that you can identify a child molester.

I bet you know one right now.

If you belong to that unlucky club of former victims of child molesters, you do develop a sort of sixth sense that does enable you to identify child molesters hiding in plain sight.

Nope. It makes me realize anyone could be a threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and no. Watching Sandusky on video clips, I can see red flags in his affect. So I'm fairly confident I'd be able to recognize and deal with someone like him, as I've done with other people with similar affects. On the other hand, it worries me that so many seem to have missed these visible red flags.

What red flags to you see in his affect?

I haven't watched videos of him -- can't bring myself to -- but I think I would spot someone creepy. I hope so.

I am curious about this too. I just watched a video of him on Youtube and even though I was looking for clues, I didn't see any red flags. Am I dense? I really want to know as I find it disturbing that I'm not seeing it!

DH went to Penn State as an undergrad and worked part-time in a sporting goods store. Paterno and Sandusky were his regular customers. He says, Paterno behaved sort of like an asshole at times, but Sandusky was the nicest guy ever. Pleasure to do business with.

Talk about "spotting someone creepy".

No surprise there. The molesters are usually the ones you least suspect. That's how they get and keep access.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh please, don't kid yourself that you can identify a child molester.

I bet you know one right now.

If you belong to that unlucky club of former victims of child molesters, you do develop a sort of sixth sense that does enable you to identify child molesters hiding in plain sight.

Nope. It makes me realize anyone could be a threat.

Okay, from one former victim to (presumably) another: please get help, or if you have, get more intensified help. It's NOT true that "anyone" can be a threat. If you believe that, then you're living in a sad and horrible distortion of reality that's just a continuation of your tortured childhood. Please get healthy. You didn't deserve to be abused, you deserved to be happy as a child, you deserve to be happy now: heal yourself and make yourself happy.

[Anonymous]

Think she meant ANYONE, not EVERYONE, could be a threat.

[Anonymous]

Note the tense: I said "could be" a threat.

This thread started with the question: Does Sandusky make you afraid?

My view: Yes, and he should. Because he was a guy everyone would have trusted with their kid.

In other words, you can't spot 'em. Which means anyone could be a threat. When that great guy offers to take your son to Disneyworld, ask yourself why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Note the tense: I said "could be" a threat.

This thread started with the question: Does Sandusky make you afraid?

My view: Yes, and he should. Because he was a guy everyone would have trusted with their kid.

In other words, you can't spot 'em. Which means anyone could be a threat. When that great guy offers to take your son to Disneyworld, ask yourself why?

I very respectfully and kindly beg to differ: I would absolutely not have trusted my kid with Sandusky. You CAN spot 'em. Have better faith in your "gut" feelings about people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the tense: I said "could be" a threat.

This thread started with the question: Does Sandusky make you afraid?

My view: Yes, and he should. Because he was a guy everyone would have trusted with their kid.

In other words, you can't spot 'em. Which means anyone could be a threat. When that great guy offers to take your son to Disneyworld, ask yourself why?

I very respectfully and kindly beg to differ: I would absolutely not have trusted my kid with Sandusky. You CAN spot 'em. Have better faith in your "gut" feelings about people.

Not the PP you are responding to but what is it about Sandusky that would have alerted you to him being a pedophile? Sixth sense? Honestly curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Note the tense: I said "could be" a threat.

This thread started with the question: Does Sandusky make you afraid?

My view: Yes, and he should. Because he was a guy everyone would have trusted with their kid.

In other words, you can't spot 'em. Which means anyone could be a threat. When that great guy offers to take your son to Disneyworld, ask yourself why?

I very respectfully and kindly beg to differ: I would absolutely not have trusted my kid with Sandusky. You CAN spot 'em. Have better faith in your "gut" feelings about people.

Not the PP you are responding to but what is it about Sandusky that would have alerted you to him being a pedophile? Sixth sense? Honestly curious.

No, not sixth sense. I'm a linguistics grad student, and my research covers all kinds of language - verbal and body language. So his manner wouldn't necessarily have signaled "pedophile." (Well, in one video it appears to do just that, but let's set that aside.) It does signals a problem. In some videos, his verbal and body language appears "normal." It signals considerable nervousness, esp. when he discusses his charity, but he could be a nervous, high strung person, I don't know him well enough to make this judgment. In others, it's problematic; he's ingratiating in ways that don't match his ostensible position, he overdoes it, especially, again, when talking about his charity work, which is, of course, the crux of the problem. His manner doesn't make sense in light of who he's supposed to be. Does this make sense?

[Anonymous]

That's interesting. Sounds like you would be great as a profiler, police officer or in sales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's interesting. Sounds like you would be great as a profiler, police officer or in sales.

You're very kind. I'm sort of headed in the profiler direction.

[Anonymous]

I think as parents the worst thing we can do is to assume that we can spot pedophiles before they harm our children. It's very easy to identify a child abuser in hindsight. Most abusers are well known to the victim and trusted. Many abusers are people in positions of respect or authority. The parents of many abused children knew the abusers, talked to them both before and during the abuse and they didn't see the signs. Sandusky does not make me more afraid and I don't suspect everyone as a potential abuser.

To protect my child, I am vigilant about who has access to my the child in my absence, I tell my child about physical boundaries and, very importantly, that no matter what happens with them I will always listen and I will always protect them.