Families with 3 (or more) children

[Anonymous]

In theory I always thought I wanted three. In friends' families with three, there always seemed like such a good dynamic, and I loved the idea of having three grown children with different lives and personalities. However, then I had one and realized that RAISING 3 kids would kill me, so we're stopping at one. But if you can handle it, mentally, biologically, financially, go for it. I always thought families with three were just so... rowdy and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have three boys, but didn't have a third in the hope it would be a girl. We just felt like two kids felt "small" to us and we wanted the feel of a bigger family. It's hectic - which sometimes I love and other times I find stressful.

we have three boys, ages 3, 6 and 8. I always thought we would have two but felt like something was missing, the third seemed to complete us. I always knew we would have boys so gender was not an issue. And yes life is hectic and VERY LOUD but we were blessed with three wonderful personalities that I could not imagine living without. It does get stressful at times especially with activities and events but we manage-often without too many tears (mine).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have three, wanted four. Crazy, and not "green" to have so many kids. But I didn't feel my family was complete with two kids. Three felt better. Four would be a bonus, but I'm too old, so we got a dog. I SAH. Don't think I would have more than one if I were working FT. It's a lot of work, and expensive to have three kids, but I love then and wish I could have another child. The dog is nice, though.

WTH

[Anonymous]

we always wanted at least 3 kids. Had b/g twins first so gender did not contribute to our decision to have a third.

we would love to have a 4th and are trying to figure that out. We'll likely stop at 3.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was like you when pregnant with #1, wanted a large family, but then then after having two children the realities of being a parent sent such as stress, lack of sleep, financial considerations, time constraints, and lack of personal time and stopped at two.

You never know what you can handle until you are in the thick of it. Personally I feel that I can give two children a lot of opportunity and ample patient attention. I think if I had three kids, I'd lose my temper and probably not be the patient mom which is an important standard for me to uphold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was like you when pregnant with #1, wanted a large family, but then then after having two children the realities of being a parent sent such as stress, lack of sleep, financial considerations, time constraints, and lack of personal time and stopped at two.

You never know what you can handle until you are in the thick of it. Personally I feel that I can give two children a lot of opportunity and ample patient attention. I think if I had three kids, I'd lose my temper and probably not be the patient mom which is an important standard for me to uphold.

Exactly. I also have two. Two energetic sweet boys. Definitely enough!! They are very happy boys. I think another one would have stretched all of us too far. In fact I remember once, when the boys were around 5 and 6, seeing a father at the school with his three adorable kids who were around the same age and I complimented him on them and he said back - not jokingly - you should try taking care of them!! I didn't say anything because it was obvious that he was fed up from his tone of voice. Mind you, we all have those days... but I have a feeling it was just too much for them. Hopefully easier for them by now.

[Anonymous]

My friend has three, and of course wouldn't trade her lifestyle for 2 at this point, as she loves all three dearly!

However, she has gained about least 30 lbs, is the main breadwinner, and has a terrible commute. Thankfully, her job is secure and pays well.

At one point, all three kids were in three different schools, which made things very difficult. By next year, all three will be in one school.

I think that by the time they're all in elementary school, things even out. But early on, it was a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

I have three - the third was not planned. I think, though, that in the back of my mind having another was always there. There is a five-year age gap between the 2nd and 3rd and that turned out to be great when the third was born. I really enjoyed his babyhood way more than the first two. After one I was overwhelmed, and the second was two years later. That age gap proved to be very challenging. I love having three, but it is a constant, constant juggling act. Someone always has to be somewhere and we often have to rely on the kindness of friends to carpool, etc. That said, I can't imagine not having my third child, but I also would have been happy at 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was like you when pregnant with #1, wanted a large family, but then then after having two children the realities of being a parent sent such as stress, lack of sleep, financial considerations, time constraints, and lack of personal time and stopped at two.

You never know what you can handle until you are in the thick of it. Personally I feel that I can give two children a lot of opportunity and ample patient attention. I think if I had three kids, I'd lose my temper and probably not be the patient mom which is an important standard for me to uphold.

Exactly. I also have two. Two energetic sweet boys. Definitely enough!! They are very happy boys. I think another one would have stretched all of us too far. In fact I remember once, when the boys were around 5 and 6, seeing a father at the school with his three adorable kids who were around the same age and I complimented him on them and he said back - not jokingly - you should try taking care of them!! I didn't say anything because it was obvious that he was fed up from his tone of voice. Mind you, we all have those days... but I have a feeling it was just too much for them. Hopefully easier for them by now.

Why do people who are not being asked for a response chime in on these threads? The OP specifically asked for the views of those who have 3 or more children. She did not ask people who have 2 to post why they chose not to have any more children. I don't mean to be snarky, I know these two posters were being sincere, and it would have been appropriate on a thread titled "Thinking of having a third child" or "Should we stop at 2?", but is not appropriate here.

[Anonymous]

I have three under 5, and hope to have one more before I get too old. I always wanted four, and if I thought my body could take it I'd have 5, but at my age 4 is pushing it for me. I only have one sibling and parents who are kind of cold and I felt that I missed out on having a family life as a child. I always envied my friends with larger families who had siblings they could rely on to be there for them their whole lives, while all I had were friendships which, while often wonderful, just do not have the same permanence and sense of duty and closeness as good family relationships (obviously not every family is close, I'm not looking to argue that point, but in reasonably happy ones like the ones I was looking to emulate). I absolutely adore my children and my life with them. Is it chaotic sometimes, yes, is it expensive, yes, does it involve sacrifices, yes, do the kids sometimes compete for attention, yes, do they sometimes drive me crazy, yes. But I would not trade it for anything. My kids are all the same sex, but that played no role in the number we wanted or will have. I'm sure if we are blessed with a fourth it will be the same sex as the others and that is fine, we would be thrilled either way. Like anyone else, I didn't know what I was capable of until I was "in the thick of it" as a PP said, but honestly nothing about parenting is so stressful to me that I feel the need to alter my plans. I am not the uber-perfect parent I thought I would be before I had kids but I am always working on myself and trying to improve, and my kids are happy and loved, which is good enough. I have no judgment toward anyone else about the number of children they feel is right for them -- a larger family is right for us, but it's not for everyone and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

3 boys (22, 20 and 17) and a girl (13). Our last one was not planned, but what a fabulous bonus -- she's a peach! Yes, it's hectic and, no, I don't work FT (haven't since 1989), but we love it. DH has 4 sibs and I have 3, so this is what we grew up with and always wanted.

[Anonymous]

I always loved seeing the families with 2 or 3 older kids and then one straggler. And that's what we have. DS#3 really is a bonus, miracle, best ever, etc. etc. As others have said, I feel like #3 completes our family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was like you when pregnant with #1, wanted a large family, but then then after having two children the realities of being a parent sent such as stress, lack of sleep, financial considerations, time constraints, and lack of personal time and stopped at two.

You never know what you can handle until you are in the thick of it. Personally I feel that I can give two children a lot of opportunity and ample patient attention. I think if I had three kids, I'd lose my temper and probably not be the patient mom which is an important standard for me to uphold.

Exactly. I also have two. Two energetic sweet boys. Definitely enough!! They are very happy boys. I think another one would have stretched all of us too far. In fact I remember once, when the boys were around 5 and 6, seeing a father at the school with his three adorable kids who were around the same age and I complimented him on them and he said back - not jokingly - you should try taking care of them!! I didn't say anything because it was obvious that he was fed up from his tone of voice. Mind you, we all have those days... but I have a feeling it was just too much for them. Hopefully easier for them by now.

Why do people who are not being asked for a response chime in on these threads? The OP specifically asked for the views of those who have 3 or more children. She did not ask people who have 2 to post why they chose not to have any more children. I don't mean to be snarky, I know these two posters were being sincere, and it would have been appropriate on a thread titled "Thinking of having a third child" or "Should we stop at 2?", but is not appropriate here.

You must be new here.

There are no rules of appropriate on here. If you want that, go start your own site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I was like you when pregnant with #1, wanted a large family, but then then after having two children the realities of being a parent sent such as stress, lack of sleep, financial considerations, time constraints, and lack of personal time and stopped at two.

You never know what you can handle until you are in the thick of it. Personally I feel that I can give two children a lot of opportunity and ample patient attention. I think if I had three kids, I'd lose my temper and probably not be the patient mom which is an important standard for me to uphold.

Exactly. I also have two. Two energetic sweet boys. Definitely enough!! They are very happy boys. I think another one would have stretched all of us too far. In fact I remember once, when the boys were around 5 and 6, seeing a father at the school with his three adorable kids who were around the same age and I complimented him on them and he said back - not jokingly - you should try taking care of them!! I didn't say anything because it was obvious that he was fed up from his tone of voice. Mind you, we all have those days... but I have a feeling it was just too much for them. Hopefully easier for them by now.

Why do people who are not being asked for a response chime in on these threads? The OP specifically asked for the views of those who have 3 or more children. She did not ask people who have 2 to post why they chose not to have any more children. I don't mean to be snarky, I know these two posters were being sincere, and it would have been appropriate on a thread titled "Thinking of having a third child" or "Should we stop at 2?", but is not appropriate here.

Does anyone else see the irony in this posters response?

[Anonymous]

I have three and love it. There was a time when have three under the age of five was utter chaos, but now they are a bit older and things are somewhat easier. They all go to different schools, but we just deal. They are awesome kids and get along great. Three feels right to us.