September birthdays

[Anonymous]

Our daughter's birthday is next week -- just before the Fairfax cut-off on 30 September. We decided that while we believed she would be fine in K, we would follow the advice of her preschool teachers....who also recommended that we send her on time.

So we put our four-year-old on a bus to kindergarten (until a few weeks later when she turned five) and have had no problems. At the parent/teacher conference in November of that year, I asked her K teacher's opinion on whether we had made the right choice. She assured us that our daughter was not only academically age-appropriate but also socially adept and had no problem making friends with children in the class, regardless of when their birthdays fell.

The following year, despite great report cards, I again asked her first grade teacher if we had made the right decision about sending our daughter on time (we were moving out of the area the next year and had a ripe opportunity to correct her grade placement without any social stigma). The teacher expressed shock and surprise that our daughter was the youngest child in her classroom. So we have kept her with her class.

She is now thriving in an AAP center (we have since moved back to Virginia) and loves that she is the youngest. We have to deal with the age difference in everything from the classroom to the soccer field -- where her teammates turn 10 the week after she turns 9 -- but she's happy.

YOU know your kid best. We were confident in our decision to send her on time because we know that she has always acted beyond her years and that she was truly ready to go. I can also honestly say that if our son had been the one with the September birthday, we would have made a different decision -- NOT because he's a boy, but because his development at 4 years 11 months would not have resulted in a successful start to kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

I know thress cases. One kid that was born in August who is doing really well, he is is in 1st grade now. I know another one who was born on Sept 30, and he is doing also really well, in 1st grade, the youngest one in the class, and I know another one who was born early sept who has to redo Kinder again.So I guess it depends on the child. I would not wait a whole year to put my DC in KInder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know thress cases. One kid that was born in August who is doing really well, he is is in 1st grade now. I know another one who was born on Sept 30, and he is doing also really well, in 1st grade, the youngest one in the class, and I know another one who was born early sept who has to redo Kinder again.So I guess it depends on the child. I would not wait a whole year to put my DC in KInder.

This. And nothing else.

[Anonymous]

I have a son who started K this year at almost 6, due to a December birthday. He has social/emotional delays, and an IEP, so for him, I was glad I did not have to make the decision, he needed the extra year his birthday gave him.

My dd, who will be 4 on Saturday just makes the cutoff. She is socially/emotionally leaps and bounds above her brothers. Academically, hmm, she can write some letters loves to draw, write, but a year from now, I think she will be just fine. Our plan is to send her on time, as an almost 5 year old.

Dh and I both started K at 4, almost 5 back in the 70's, where our NY cutoff was 12/31. We both did fine, but there was not a push to redshirt back then.

I will say, in preschool, we did have one boy who was redshirted for preK, and was a real bully, BUT, that was one child, he was really big, and used his size to his advantage....but I digress.

[Anonymous]

One of mine has a Sept. birthday. Yes, we held him back. I have found that a lot of parents hold back the boys with Sept. birthdays. As for the girls, it seems that some get held back and some don't.

Personally, I think it gives kids an extra year of childhood.

[Anonymous]

9:56 here. Oh, and I thought my kid would be the oldest. He isn't. There are always some July-Aug kids held back, too. Rarely June, but I think that's pushing it.

[Anonymous]

We held back our Sept birthday boy for FCPS. There were good reasons to do so but lots of privates have Sept 1 as a cut off date. I wanted DS to be aged appropriately in case we go the private route in the future. To answer OP's question: no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP (and 22:24): Don't mean to distract by actually answering your question but no, I don't regret having a September 6yo K DS and I don't know of ANY parents who regret their decision to give their child an extra year. As 22:24 said, don't listen to the irrelevant opinions stated here.

This is what I don't get about the redshirting business. It feels like taking a year of school away from a child, not giving them an extra year.

There's this concept that I've instructive that's really informed my perspective on parenting. It's described here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zone_of_proximal_development

Why wouldn't you expose your child to peers from whom (s)he could learn? At root, it seems a waste if my kid were the most talented or capable in the bunch. Where would the room to grow be, the inspiration? I see my role as facilitating my children's competence, not just cultivating self-esteem. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Competence is a confidence-builder.

Obviously, it ALWAYS depends on the individual needs and talents of each child. Parents should always do what works best for their own little ones, but generally speaking, it seems to place children at a disadvantage to hold back on placing them in environments that would challenge them for fear that they might be younger or initially less capable than their peers.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, but does anyone regret their decision regarding their September b-day child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, as a previous poster said, holding back a September birthday is redshirting. I am so tired of the redshirters and the automatic "summer boy" holdback. The deadline has to be somewhere. There will always be a youngest and an oldest kid. Unless you have a specific reason grounded in fact/evidence send your kid to school. Your kid will be fine. This area is so competitive that people want their kid to be the smartest, tallest, fastest ... and they think they can get that by making their kid the oldest. This hypercompetitive behavior is totally altering the makeup of the grades. I wish the schools would clamp down on redshirting.

Its not back and white that September is or isn't redshirting. We may be in Alexandria City when our child turns 5 in early September. Here, the cutoff is Sept 30. However, we KNOW we are moving the following summer, and the two locations we are going to have a kindergarten cutoff date of 1 Sept. So we could send him to kindergarten here, see how it goes, and then either have him repeat kindergarten or push for him to go into 1st grade in the new school district. If we were going to school districts with the same or later cutoff, it would be an easy decision. But knowing he will absolutely be the youngest in the class once we move, for a child who was a month premature and small for his size, it is completely appropriate to consider waiting a year.

[Anonymous]

VA public school parents complaining about K boys (or girls) turning 6 in September are uninformed. Don't let them keep you from doing what is best for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, but does anyone regret their decision regarding their September b-day child?

September birthday boy, sent on time, no regrets.

[Anonymous]

September K boy turning 6. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who had an Aug. boy. Held him back. Very smart child... to the extent that he fits in better with the grade ahead of him. He isn't necessarily a bully, but he is mentally more manipulative and takes advantage of kids his own age b/c he is out-thinking them. While his mom doesn't regret holding him back, I regret that he was held back just b/c he's in my child's class and I don't trust him to play fair around my child. I think he would be better socially with kids a year older (who would be able to challenge him back).

He most likely will end up in AAP, and that may give his energy more positive direction. Sometimes being the oldest and brightest isn't a plus.

[Anonymous]

I have a Sept boy started 1st grade before 6. So far so good. We believe in him, even though he is late bloomer. Age advantage/disadvantage will be disappear by 10. I have Oct b-day. I hated to be one of the oldest ones in the class. My age kept me away from building self-confidence. No matter how good you are, you doubt if it's b/c capability or age. My cousin started 1st grad at 5.5. 30 years ago, it was cool to be the youngest in the class. She dose extremely well. I am glad I have Sept and Aug children. I think that is the gift.