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Where do you keep your white bread, and other aggressive questions I've been asked this weekend.
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Anonymous
| Maybe she phrased it that way to show commonality in a friendly manner, not aggressiveness. As for the chair, she might not have realized it is supposed to be at an angle and thought the kids mistakenly moved it so she moved it back where she thought it was supposed to be. |
Anonymous
So it's okay for me to go to your house and say "Where is the hummus? Where do you keep the Go Lean Crunch? You're all of out of soft tofu?" It wouldn't make you feel put on the spot, seem slightly egocentric, and really rather silly of me to assume that you eat exactly the way I do? |
Anonymous
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OP, I don't think your visitor was agressive on purpose.. but it's clear she has no manners. Sad.
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Anonymous
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Why not choose to rise above this instead of letting it get you so stressed out.
This is exactly the type of things we parents need to let roll off our backs so we can focus on what's important. Take her questions at face value, answer them as cordially and succinctly as possible and move on. |
Anonymous
| sounds like my mil. but she re-arranges whole rooms while I'm out. oh, brother... |
Anonymous
| This doesn't seem like a big deal to me. |
Anonymous
Coz you're normal and well-adjusted? |
Anonymous
Oh come on, OP was just posting on here to vent - which is a perfectly normal and well-adjusted thing to do. It sounds like she handled these questions quite well and it was probably taking a lot of psychic energy to keep above the fray all weekend with this person in her house, so let her vent! That's what anonymous forums are for. Rock on, OP, with your non-white-bread and no-hand-towel self 
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Anonymous
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Does anyone else think it is silly to have a dish towel AND a hand towel in the kitchen?
After I wash the dishes, I dry them with the dish towel, but then I take them with my HAND and put them back in the cupboard. And incidentally, when I am drying the dishes with the dish towel, I am using my HAND. So why would I need a separate hand towel? |
Anonymous
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I agree with PPs that this isn't aggressive or even, dare I say, rude.
If your MIL, like my MIL, grew up in a well-to-do family in the 50s/60s, these were common household items. You have nice dishes and every day dishes, pretty hand towels vs. utilitarian dish towels, more than one matching set of glasses, seasonal table linens, etc. And come on, didn't you have an electric can opener growing up? I know we did. Doesn't mean I own one now, of course. That said, she could be (a) probing for gift opportunities, or (b) honestly thinks that her son, who grew up with these things, would own them too. I wouldn't take it as an insult, or an aggressive rant, or anything like that. Your answers, of course, should communicate that you just don't WANT these things, as opposed to 'nope we don't have any', to avoid the awkward gifting later. For her to assume that you have them is more of a compliment, since she expects that you are classy/wealthy/successful and therefore should have a fully equipped kitchen as all Susie Homemakers did in the Good Housekeeping days. Which reminds me, I am 99% sure that my MIL has given us corn holders at some point, but I haven't the faintest where they could be. Hmmm... |
Anonymous
| So funny OP. I recently went on a beach vacation with my parents and my mom was aghast that I requested whole wheat bread for my kids. Her reaction was priceless. She was also astonished that we didn't have an electric can opener. Her newest thing is that we don't plan on using table clothes on our new dining room table. She was slightly mollified, however, that we have a table pad for everyday use. One day we will be them... |
Anonymous
Well, that was your first mistake! But seriously, I've never even heard of having separate dish and hand towels. Imagine how she would fare in our household! The horror! |
Anonymous
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The questions were not the most polite; however, when we have guests coming we try to find out what they like to eat and have it on hand. Case in point, we don't use white bread or coffee, but my grandmother loves both, so I bought some before her recent visit. Buying new appliances would be a bit much, though we did buy a coffee maker since we have several relatives who drink coffee (even though we never do).
We use separate dish and hand towels and happen to have both can opener types, so we are covered there.
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Anonymous
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OP, is my mom at your house? If she is, you probably have the wrong trash bags too.
Try to take deep breaths, nod and smile, and vent in private (like here!). |
Anonymous
^^^Exactly. My Mom is extreme since she is allergic to gluten, but she always send a box of her food before visiting us. My Mom is similar to yours (I'm assuming) OP, but I try to think of these things as her helping out. Now that I do actually need her help (organizing, etc) I actually welcome her buying things, tidying up, and throwing things away. Sometimes she can still get on my nerves, but I just try to suck it up and have a pleasant time for the few days per year we get to see each other now. |