40, Gay, No Known Fertility Problems, But 4 IUIs & No Success - Help me with questions to my RE!

[Anonymous]

I say get way more aggressive. IUIs aren't statiscally that more effective than plain old regular timed sex. Especially at 40 time is of the essence. FWIW, I loved Dr. Widra at SG.

[Anonymous]

I'm single, TTC at SG as well. 2nd IUI, 1st unmedicated, unmonitored (and I'm pretty sure our timing was off), this one monitored with Clomid--just one mature follicle, but timing was perfect and DS count was good.

In 2ww.

I'm also contemplating how many IUIs I'd do vs. putting that money toward IVF. I would want a mini-IVF at GW, though, I think. I haven't researched it all. Natural Cycle is just too risky to me--unless my eggs aren't hatching, I can aim the sperm at ONE egg (which is all you get with natural cycle) with IUIs.

Since I'm now confident we can get the timing down, the one advantage I see to IVF is that the eggs can not only be fertilized, but they can do the assisted hatching to be sure that the outer layer (sometimes tougher in older ladies like us) does hatch. I haven't yet looked into how that statistically impacts success, though.

[Anonymous]

PP 15:34 here, I'm not a jerk, it's a legitimate question that her child will ask when they reach 13-14. I know this from experience, it takes two parents to raise a child.

[Anonymous]

I had tons of complaints about my parents and my life when I was that age. When and if her child asks that question at age 13, then the OP will deal with that. In the meantime, she isn't required to answer you. Your disapproval of single motherhood is noted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP 15:34 here, I'm not a jerk, it's a legitimate question that her child will ask when they reach 13-14. I know this from experience, it takes two parents to raise a child.

Her child may ask that question, but if the child is rasised in a loving home, that's all that matters. It's 2011 . . . there are plenty of single parent households in which a child is loved and nutured and dosen't turn into Charles Manson. I'd rather have a single mother who loves me than parents who fight all the time, or a dad who splits (I know from experience too!).

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is useful, but here are the only stats I found that broke down sucess rates by age for IUIs of women who are using frozen donor sperm. Women 40-44 have a 9.4% chance with IUIs for any given cycle according to this data. You may have better odds because you are on the younger end of the age range and everything else looks good for you.

http://www.thespermbankofca.org/pages/page.php?pageid=42

It's really hard not knowing if you'll be able to get pregnant eventually or not, especially going through decisions like more IUIs vs. IVF. I hope everythigg works out for you--and soon!

[Anonymous]

Did OP ever say that her potential child would have 1 parent? Gay people have partners too. And, even if she were single, why would you presume that she would not have a partner in 1 or 2 or 3 years, making 2 parents for the child by the time the child is 13.

[Anonymous]

We went to SG too and liked some parts of the experience and didn't like others. We saw Chang and *really* liked him (when we had his attention), but the place does have a kind of "factory" feel no matter who you work with. We also felt like they weren't really set up for our problem (we also have solid stats and get pg with no problem on our own, but we keep losing pregnancies). We also sometimes felt like we got lost in the shuffle at SG, especially in the months when we were not medicating.

Our conclusion from our experience was that SG is very well suited for certain infertility problems and certain infertility treatments, but that they sort of do what they do and if your situation doesn't fall into the norm of what they do best, then you may need to get a 2nd opinion from someone who has a particular research interest in your specific fertility issue. In our case we're going to see someone at GW who has published extensively in RPL. Your choices, it would seem to me, are to find a doctor who specializes in lesbian fertility issues or to become a really, really squeaky wheel and let your doctor know you want a really aggressive approach. Good luck!