How often do you see your siblings/nieces/nephews

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
SILs are tough. Sometimes they dictate the WORST behavior. SILs and MIL would rather go off on their own with the rest of the family than politely include DH and me and our DC. One year every one of them went on a vacation together and we were the only ones not invited. How rude can you be? DH will never forget it. He was so hurt, but would never admit it to them because after all these years, they are worse bullies than ever. We have been nothing but generous to them, and this is how they repay us. So be it. DC will learn the truth soon enough without us saying a word.

That is awful! How did you find out they did this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish I saw my two brother's kids more. They are truly enjoyable children. But they both live across the country. And their battle ax wives would rather go on cruises and visit their families than permit my brothers to have relationships with their own families. Of course if my brothers were not whipped this would not happen. My DH's wife is a pill and a major drama queen, but her little boys are darling, so we see them often. Of course SIL hates the fact that I adore her kids and they love to see me, and she tries to keep them from spending too much time with me. At her youngest's birthday party, I was blowing bubbles for them and they were laghing and being silly and she told us to knock it off.

I think we all realized that from reading your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
SILs are tough. Sometimes they dictate the WORST behavior. SILs and MIL would rather go off on their own with the rest of the family than politely include DH and me and our DC. One year every one of them went on a vacation together and we were the only ones not invited. How rude can you be? DH will never forget it. He was so hurt, but would never admit it to them because after all these years, they are worse bullies than ever. We have been nothing but generous to them, and this is how they repay us. So be it. DC will learn the truth soon enough without us saying a word.

I can't imagine why they would act this way. You seem like such a warm, generous soul - welcoming in every way. Whatever are they thinking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I really don't want to be over there all the time is the thing. And I do feel bad about that. That sounds bad, but it is what it is.
The SIL is completely religious and makes my head spin.
They never want to meet me out, I ALWAYS have to come to their place b/c of nap schedules etc, and this gets tiring after a while.

The kids are sweet, but I got married late and still love spending all of the weekend with my hubby.

It's called sacrifice in the name of family. You would probably enjoy the reciprocation if you have a family of your own one day.

On the other hand, you can just tell your brother what you've said here so he can stop guilt tripping you, I'd leave out the part about SIL though.

Why can't you and your hubby take the kids for a weekend anyway? give your brother a break?

[Anonymous]

OP - how old are the kids? I actually don't think once a month is unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - I really don't want to be over there all the time is the thing. And I do feel bad about that. That sounds bad, but it is what it is.
The SIL is completely religious and makes my head spin.
They never want to meet me out, I ALWAYS have to come to their place b/c of nap schedules etc, and this gets tiring after a while.

The kids are sweet, but I got married late and still love spending all of the weekend with my hubby.

It's called sacrifice in the name of family. You would probably enjoy the reciprocation if you have a family of your own one day.
On the other hand, you can just tell your brother what you've said here so he can stop guilt tripping you, I'd leave out the part about SIL though.

Why can't you and your hubby take the kids for a weekend anyway? give your brother a break?

Actually, reciprocation is by no means guaranteed. Before I met DH and even after we got married but while still childless, we lavished attention on his niece and nephew. They came over for weekend sleepovers and activities at our house (free time for their mom and dad), we babysat them at their house, we went to a ton of their basketball and baseball games (even though it was boring as hell, but hey it's family), and on and on. Once we had kids (right about they time they became teenagers), SIL and her hubby reciprocated absolutely none of these things with our kids and didn't even express the slightest interest in their lives. Any get togethers we had became completely perfunctory--show up at this time and bring this food item for this jewish holiday--kinds of things and then morphed into accusations that I should be hosting the holidays instead of taking advantage of their hospitality.
Only problem is, I'm not jewish, don't know the rites and frankly DH and I couldn't care less, so we stopped going to the holiday get togethers to and we essentially don't see them or talk to them anymore.
So, PP, enjoy your hubby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - to clarify - our mother died 5 yrs ago and our father is assigned overseas, so there is no other family in the area.

If you want to keep the extended family concept, then, yes, you should visit often. Even more so because you and your brother are the only family here at present. My brother died at age 46 (bachelor) and I was so glad that I had him over all the time because my kids were more excited about seeing him than they were about Santa.

[Anonymous]

My brother has 4 kids between 5 and 10 - they live about an hour away. I see them probably every 3-6 weeks depending on the month. They are busy too so finding time is hard. However usually 4 times a year I take them for 2-3 days so that I get to spend time with them and it gives them a break. I also see them for birthdays, sports, plays etc..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I saw my two brother's kids more. They are truly enjoyable children. But they both live across the country. And their battle ax wives would rather go on cruises and visit their families than permit my brothers to have relationships with their own families. Of course if my brothers were not whipped this would not happen. My DH's wife is a pill and a major drama queen, but her little boys are darling, so we see them often. Of course SIL hates the fact that I adore her kids and they love to see me, and she tries to keep them from spending too much time with me. At her youngest's birthday party, I was blowing bubbles for them and they were laghing and being silly and she told us to knock it off.

You make my head hurt. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I was just on the roller coaster recap of your life.

I don't see why, my post was actually shorter than some of the others on here. And yes I meant SIL, although she sure acts like she is his wife sometimes. You know there are times when we must grasp our inner child and make the most of a situation. And that reminds me of the time my father bought me a pony, and I said I wanted brown one, and he bought me a white one, I cried and cried, but momma she said sometimes we don't get what we want and you know that reminds me of when I learned to churn butter, it was a dark winter and the cows were not giving as much milk and I needed to buy some new shoes. But my sister came down with the pink eye, when Bobby Turner threw a spit wad in her eye. But you know how that Turner family is, they all come from the same clan of Gustafson's. And they don't get the dental care. So, the pink eye spread from person to person, and ended up with it, and thats why the butter would not turn. I got in trouble for not churning well, and then Daddy made me get rid of that darn black horse.

[Anonymous]

My brother and his family live across the country - we see each other probably once a year, but are in touch by e-mail and Skype a lot. My daughter loves seeing her big cousins on the computer. My husband's brother lives in the area, and we see him and his fiancee probably once a month or once every three weeks on average. We all get along, but people are busy - unless you're actively trying to avoid someone, I don't think that's a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I saw my two brother's kids more. They are truly enjoyable children. But they both live across the country. And their battle ax wives would rather go on cruises and visit their families than permit my brothers to have relationships with their own families. Of course if my brothers were not whipped this would not happen. My DH's wife is a pill and a major drama queen, but her little boys are darling, so we see them often. Of course SIL hates the fact that I adore her kids and they love to see me, and she tries to keep them from spending too much time with me. At her youngest's birthday party, I was blowing bubbles for them and they were laghing and being silly and she told us to knock it off.

You make my head hurt. I'm not sure why, but I feel like I was just on the roller coaster recap of your life.

I don't see why, my post was actually shorter than some of the others on here. And yes I meant SIL, although she sure acts like she is his wife sometimes. You know there are times when we must grasp our inner child and make the most of a situation. And that reminds me of the time my father bought me a pony, and I said I wanted brown one, and he bought me a white one, I cried and cried, but momma she said sometimes we don't get what we want and you know that reminds me of when I learned to churn butter, it was a dark winter and the cows were not giving as much milk and I needed to buy some new shoes. But my sister came down with the pink eye, when Bobby Turner threw a spit wad in her eye. But you know how that Turner family is, they all come from the same clan of Gustafson's. And they don't get the dental care. So, the pink eye spread from person to person, and ended up with it, and thats why the butter would not turn. I got in trouble for not churning well, and then Daddy made me get rid of that darn black horse.

Ok, now my head hurts - new poster here

[Anonymous]

I have kids; my sister is single and child-free. She just moved to our 'burb and we see her all the time. She used to live about 20 mins away and we saw her usually both days on the weekends. Now we see her during the week, sometimes, too. We're very close- twins. She adores my children and they shriek and squeak when they see her car.

[Anonymous]

BIL my husband's only sibling and his wife live 1 hour away. They don't seem to like children including their only nephew and we only see them at my in-laws for get togethers and on holidays. When we have invited them to things they always say it sounds good and they will check with the other spouse and never get back to us.

[Anonymous]

DH's sister & her husband and toddler live about 50 minutes away. We see them on average 1x a month. It's tough because their daughter and our kids all still nap, and don't nap well away from home.

DH would like to see them more. Maybe once naps are done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - how old are the kids? I actually don't think once a month is unreasonable.

The kids are 9, 7, 5 and 2. We don't have room for all over them since we have a one bedroom condo.
We have had the older ones overnight (one at a time) but not all together. I think that would be a bit much for us.