getting deposit back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I still don't think you should be concerned. She'll likely just become very close with the other 2 girls in the class.

Threesome isn't usually a good social dynamic at this age. Usually someone's odd kid out -- that can be stable or rotating but either way it sucks.

Of course from the school's POV, refunding the deposit intensifies the problem (2 girls) and sets an expensive precedent.

[Anonymous]

OP: where is this school? I have a friend with a daughter who is looking for a preK spot.

[Anonymous]

my son was one of three boys in a k class. more girls. i worried but it really was ok. good friends with one boy, friendly with the other boy, best friends with one of the girls. no one really seemed left out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: where is this school? I have a friend with a daughter who is looking for a preK spot.

In Maryland. If that's helpful, leave your email address and I'll tell you the name privately.

[Anonymous]

If you have a good option, I’d leave and accept walking away from your deposit. My 5yo was with 2 other girls and as the PP said, threesomes can get bad. (Almost 4 x the number of boys isn’t making the situation better.) Sadly, in my daughter’s case, the parents of the two girls encouraged excluding my daughter (shocked me). Good thing that came out of it is that DC really appreciates good friends after the year of being excluded. When does she turn 5? The difference between a 4yo and 5yo girl is big.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP that it's a bad mix and I would walk away.

Whenever there is such a high ratio of boys, consider that the majority of boys are there because they likely have ADHD or ADD or other issues. The parents are sending them there bc they believe a smaller environment where they can be closely monitored fixes the problem. This is hugely prevalent at many of the smaller privates. I visited a ton this year and the ratio of boys to girls in the classrooms were overwhelmingly towards boys with numbers much like the OP is reporting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP that it's a bad mix and I would walk away.

Whenever there is such a high ratio of boys, consider that the majority of boys are there because they likely have ADHD or ADD or other issues. The parents are sending them there bc they believe a smaller environment where they can be closely monitored fixes the problem. This is hugely prevalent at many of the smaller privates. I visited a ton this year and the ratio of boys to girls in the classrooms were overwhelmingly towards boys with numbers much like the OP is reporting.

I doubt this is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I still don't think you should be concerned. She'll likely just become very close with the other 2 girls in the class.

Threesome isn't usually a good social dynamic at this age. Usually someone's odd kid out -- that can be stable or rotating but either way it sucks.

Of course from the school's POV, refunding the deposit intensifies the problem (2 girls) and sets an expensive precedent.

But it's not a threesome. There is a whole class of children. Most of a preK day is structured. I'm sure there will be plenty of socializing between the sexes in preK. I really think you guys are overthinking this.

My boy plays with boys and girls equally in the neighborhood and in preschool and is going into preK this year. Sure, the games may be different if there were all girls or all boys but everyone seems to have a blast when playing all together whether he's the only boy in a group of girls or there is one little girl with the pack of boys.

I think if you are hung up on an unbalanced class in preK you really need to analyze your own biases about gender roles.

[Anonymous]

My DD has played almost exclusively with boys until this year. The kids did not start really dividing up by gender socially until about 3rd grade or so. The boys accepted DD as kind of an honorary boy for years. It's only now that she's initiating friendships and playdates with girls -- her choice. In pre-K I don't think it matters that much. I do agree that the threesome is a small pool of girls though. I would wonder why they didn't choose more girls-- and maybe more will enroll before school starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP that it's a bad mix and I would walk away.

Whenever there is such a high ratio of boys, consider that the majority of boys are there because they likely have ADHD or ADD or other issues. The parents are sending them there bc they believe a smaller environment where they can be closely monitored fixes the problem. This is hugely prevalent at many of the smaller privates. I visited a ton this year and the ratio of boys to girls in the classrooms were overwhelmingly towards boys with numbers much like the OP is reporting.

This is a pre k class. The chances of the majority of boys being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD at that age is pretty unlikely. No one whose child has ADHD believes a smaller environment fixes the problem. ADHD is not a problem but a neurobehavorial developmental disorder. One which smaller classes definitely help as teachers who can work with children more directly is a help to manage the disorder not fix it as you say.

Also, girls can have ADHD also. It usually comes out later when the girls start not to not be able to manage the demands of school usually in MS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree with PP that it's a bad mix and I would walk away.

Whenever there is such a high ratio of boys, consider that the majority of boys are there because they likely have ADHD or ADD or other issues. The parents are sending them there bc they believe a smaller environment where they can be closely monitored fixes the problem. This is hugely prevalent at many of the smaller privates. I visited a ton this year and the ratio of boys to girls in the classrooms were overwhelmingly towards boys with numbers much like the OP is reporting.

This is a pre k class. The chances of the majority of boys being diagnosed with ADD or ADHD at that age is pretty unlikely. No one whose child has ADHD believes a smaller environment fixes the problem. ADHD is not a problem but a neurobehavorial developmental disorder. One which smaller classes definitely help as teachers who can work with children more directly is a help to manage the disorder not fix it as you say.

Also, girls can have ADHD also. It usually comes out later when the girls start not to not be able to manage the demands of school usually in MS.

Maybe my case was just severe but I was diagnosed in 2nd grade back in the 80's....inattentive ADD. Highly unusual for a girl to be diagnosed in general in the 80's let alone so young.

BTW I think the poster that you quoted is terribly wrong. A high ratio of boys means that not as many girls applied. If they have rolling admissions I bet they'll add more girls throughout the year.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for everyone's feedback and experiences. I called the school today; there are 10 boys and 4 girls, with two more students (1 boy and 1 girl) possibly set to join. I think that will be okay, so we'll stick it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for everyone's feedback and experiences. I called the school today; there are 10 boys and 4 girls, with two more students (1 boy and 1 girl) possibly set to join. I think that will be okay, so we'll stick it out.

Glad it worked out!