Baked goods for Picky preschooler

[Anonymous]

To the extent that the issue is about control, you might be feeding it a bit by letting it be known that you are willing to do extra work and make special foods. Even if the kid goes to bed hungry once in a while, no healthy child will starve in a food-rich environment.

I forget who wrote this book, but I read this about avoiding food struggles: It is the parent's job to decide what foods to offer and when to offer them. It is the kid's job to choose which and how much of the offered foods to eat.

[Anonymous]

PP, I think the book you might be talking about is one by Ellyn Sater. I actually just ordered a copy yesterday. He does go to bed hungry and boy do the family all know about it in the morning!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, I think the book you might be talking about is one by Ellyn Sater. I actually just ordered a copy yesterday. He does go to bed hungry and boy do the family all know about it in the morning!

What do you mean? Say more about what happens in the morning.

[Anonymous]

I had one like that...he ate nothing for dinner for almost a year. He only had about 4 foods he would eat. It was all about control....I was afraid he would starve and did put as much good stuff into the foods he would eat as I could. He always ate a huge breakfast so I loaded it up with whatever I could. He grew out of this after about a year...when he was 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the extent that the issue is about control, you might be feeding it a bit by letting it be known that you are willing to do extra work and make special foods. Even if the kid goes to bed hungry once in a while, no healthy child will starve in a food-rich environment.

I forget who wrote this book, but I read this about avoiding food struggles: It is the parent's job to decide what foods to offer and when to offer them. It is the kid's job to choose which and how much of the offered foods to eat.

This is only true to a degree...when your child is falling off the growth curve or starting to be malnourished and it is affecting them behaviorally (always grumpy due to lack of food) then it is the parent's problem. A 3 year old doesn't understand the importance of nutrition and when they refuse to eat on a regular basis, parents have to do extra to get nourishment into them. I never made special meals but I did do what the OP is doing and sneak healthy food in every chance I got.

[Anonymous]

Could he just be tired of the food? For example, you know he loved milkshakes...so I'm sure you gave them to him often because he'd drink them. Maybe he wants something new now?

Along those lines: what do you plan to do when he stops wanting baked goods? I think you're going about things the wrong way.

Have you tried letting him help you shop? Letting him help you prepare?

I'd let him eat (or not eat) what is offered. If he's a pill in the morning then oh well. He will eat! He isn't going to starve himself. And yes, I've dealt with picky eaters. You are letting him control the situation far too much.

[Anonymous]

I wasn't being smug. As other posters have said and you seem to take thier advice to heart is YOU are the mom and YOU should be in control of the situation. There have been times that I also have gone the "special" condiment route, both of mine would eat almost anything with ranch dressing. But you were also talking about making him special baked goods because he would eat almost nothng else so now you have passed control on to him.

My control is that they HAVE to try everything on the plate no matter what it is usually no more then a mouthful and if they don't like it then they don't have to eat it but they get nothing else on their plate, and the next time it shows up they have to try it again. Sometimes the next time it shows I may have have prepared it a diffrent way and it goes down faster than ice cream.

I have know many moms that cook two dinners every night, one for the adults and one for the kids. This is so wrong on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't being smug. As other posters have said and you seem to take thier advice to heart is YOU are the mom and YOU should be in control of the situation. There have been times that I also have gone the "special" condiment route, both of mine would eat almost anything with ranch dressing. But you were also talking about making him special baked goods because he would eat almost nothng else so now you have passed control on to him.

My control is that they HAVE to try everything on the plate no matter what it is usually no more then a mouthful and if they don't like it then they don't have to eat it but they get nothing else on their plate, and the next time it shows up they have to try it again. Sometimes the next time it shows I may have have prepared it a diffrent way and it goes down faster than ice cream.

I have know many moms that cook two dinners every night, one for the adults and one for the kids. This is so wrong on so many levels.

I have to wonder what type of children you have. Do you have ones with allergies? Do you have ones that have been declared failure to thrive? Do you have kids with sensory eating issues? Kids with these issues are unlike other children on so many levels that you do have to re-work what and how you prepare your meals. You are lucky you have children that don't have control issues. If did have one I think you would be singing a different tune.

[Anonymous]

I understand the need to find some balance between not becoming a short-order cook AND getting enough food into your child that he isn't makign the entire family miserable. I wonder - have you tried smoothies? One of my mom friends with a super-picky kid would make them - and sneak all sorts of stuff into them. The real beauty of them is that they can be served along with the other food (so the child is still getting the option of other food).

The other thing I do is simply tell my son his only other options at dinner are healthy ones - fruit, yogurt, - and he has to go get them himself. There are nights he throws a total fit and refuses to eat, but with him - I know I can win - because the kid can't go without eating for long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't being smug. As other posters have said and you seem to take thier advice to heart is YOU are the mom and YOU should be in control of the situation. There have been times that I also have gone the "special" condiment route, both of mine would eat almost anything with ranch dressing. But you were also talking about making him special baked goods because he would eat almost nothng else so now you have passed control on to him.

My control is that they HAVE to try everything on the plate no matter what it is usually no more then a mouthful and if they don't like it then they don't have to eat it but they get nothing else on their plate, and the next time it shows up they have to try it again. Sometimes the next time it shows I may have have prepared it a diffrent way and it goes down faster than ice cream.

I have know many moms that cook two dinners every night, one for the adults and one for the kids. This is so wrong on so many levels.

I have to wonder what type of children you have. Do you have ones with allergies? Do you have ones that have been declared failure to thrive? Do you have kids with sensory eating issues? Kids with these issues are unlike other children on so many levels that you do have to re-work what and how you prepare your meals. You are lucky you have children that don't have control issues. If did have one I think you would be singing a different tune.

The OP's child has none of these issues either, he jsut refuses to eat. I also have known moms that cook two meals nightly not because the child canot eat something but because they refuse to.

Remember the subject line says PICKY not allergic, declared failure to thrive, ect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand all of you.. I cook one meal for dinner and the twins have to at least try everything on their plate. They get very small portions, usually no more then a mouthful, of new things. They get nothing else - no second helping of what they like and no dessert - unless the plate is clean

Wow - Using dessert as a reward? Limiting how much they get to eat? Seriously? It sounds like your kids are good eaters, but it has nothing to do with you. If anything, it's despite what you're doing. I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician and get some advice. Sounds like you got some kids that are "easy" but, for now, are resilient to bad parenting at mealtimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand all of you.. I cook one meal for dinner and the twins have to at least try everything on their plate. They get very small portions, usually no more then a mouthful, of new things. They get nothing else - no second helping of what they like and no dessert - unless the plate is clean

Wow - Using dessert as a reward? Limiting how much they get to eat? Seriously? It sounds like your kids are good eaters, but it has nothing to do with you. If anything, it's despite what you're doing. I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician and get some advice. Sounds like you got some kids that are "easy" but, for now, are resilient to bad parenting at mealtimes.

Bad parenting? Not this poster but since when is having to try a single mouthful of a new food bad parenting. Sorry I was brought up by a "How do you know you don't like it if you've never even tried it" mom myself and I have a very varied pallate and always happy to at least TRY something new. As for no dessert or a second helping without a clean plate, with appropriate portions of dinner food the child should be able to clean his or her plate before asking for more or dessert. If the child leaves food and says "I'm full" and then asks for dessert then they really aren't full are they?

As for limiting how much they eat, I think you misread her. She says that the only very small protions they get are of new things and they have to try it. If they don't like it then it's already gone after that one mouthful. Learn to read and comprehend what you read before you judge.

[Anonymous]

"The OP's child has none of these issues either, he jsut refuses to eat. I also have known moms that cook two meals nightly not because the child canot eat something but because they refuse to."


OP hasn't had her child evaluated. It's possible not to know that your child has an eating disorder if you haven't been exposed to it before.

[Anonymous]

Op, can you list all the foods your ds will eat?