what makes your house the hang-out house for teens and preteens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:parents of 3 and 5 year old here. We are deciding between three houses to buy and there is one thing very important to us -- we want our house to be the house where the kids and their friends choose to spend time as they get older. Both DH and I had houses that were not this way (DH's parents were super-strict about cleanliness and didn't want the mess, and I lived far from most people and my mom kind of hated to be the host) and we want to be different, both because we want to keep an eye on the kids and because we are the types that like to host social things.
So which of these things matter:
1. location near the school?
2. location near the town center (walk to restaurants, etc.)
3. big yard?
4. big basement?
5. location near metro/public transportation?
6. big bedrooms for the kids?

Also do you think thinks like pool table/ping pong table help?
We do not want a pool, although I am sure that would help.
And I know good food will help -- that I can handle.

our house has turned into a hang out house for my teen and his friends. we live very close to the school, I am happy to see them without being weirdly involved (aka- friendly), we have a basement with cable, xbox, and music available, we are also an easy walk to the subway and chevy chase. there is a park across the street, so even though our yard is not so big, there is outdoor space they can use. I would be wary of being responsible for teens using a pool. I think pingpong is super popular, and my younger son loves playing pool at the house of a friend who has a pool table. My kids do not have big bedrooms, but when kids spend the night they sleep in the family room which has the tv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids in the neighborhood, a good size family room with Wii and other games, nice yard for running and playing, and a steady supply of pizza, IMO.

I always cook for the kids when they come over- quick thing of choc chip cookies, sometimes I'll order pizza, I have lemonade on hand in the summer. I am present, but not on top of the kids constantly. I let them know as long as an adult is home, they are welcome at our house anytime, and they can tell I mean it.

We have a small TH and kids still like to come over here- I think the atmosphere more than the framework of the house is more important.

My list would be:

1. Food
2. Learn the kids names
3. Be present, and in and out of area where they are, but not so much that you are hovering
4. Tell them verbally that they are welcome anytime a parent is home. Kids just show up now b/c they know DH and will generally welcome them.

I like it b/c I know what DD is doing, and I can get to know the kids and which ones I am comfortable with and which ones need a little more supervision if DD wants to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

We had that house growing up.

1. Food - we had friends over even when we (the kids) werent there to visit my parents and eat my moms cooking.

2. Start early by always inviting people to stop by and hang out. Host playdates when they are young. Teach your kids to invite friends over by always having their own friends over. My parents hosted dinners and lunches every weekend and my friends always came to those and then stayed to play and other neighborhood kids joined us.

3. Learn the kids names and what they are into. Establish a repoire with them.

4. If they are involved in sports or other activities, offer to host the meetings or events.

5. Dont worry about messes, etc. Ask them to clean up their messes, but dont freak out when they happen, bc they will.

I think the main reason was siblings. We have 4 kids so even if each of us had 1-2 friends over, we became a hang-out. there were Saturdays when we easily had 20 kids in our house/backyard - and we did NOT have a big house (3bd 2000 sq.ft)

[Anonymous]

OP - instead of you and DH making plans based on knee jerk reactions to your own childhoods, why not wait and see what works for your family?

[Anonymous]

My friend's house was this in high school.

1) Your child doesn't have to be popular, but she does need to have a lot of power within her group of friends.
2) Junk food
3) a pool helps
4) parents who don't mind a bunch of kids around and don't keep close tabs on what is going down (we were good kids, but at my friends house we could make a lot of noise, stay up as late as we wanted, sneak out, hang out in her room watching movies with boys, and sneak a beer - I don't remember ever seeing the parents though they were around). She was latch key so they weren't there in the afternoons, though that was true of all of us. Her parents also never said no to her doing things or told her told get off the phone. Very lenient parents.

It was really #3 that cemented #1 and made her house the house. The actual house was irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Big basement and bakyard n food. I'm testifying to ppl calling to come over