panicking about tuition

[Anonymous]

Some people get really hung up here on some desired "successful" outcome of schooling -- Ivy league college, Big 3 HS, whatever, instead of the journey for the kids. School is about learning to love to learn, navigating social situations, exposure to new ideas, awakening curiosity. This is what enables kids to thrive as adults. I think a primary school private experience helps enable this for children.

[Anonymous]

A family's financial stability and a mother's peace of mind and ability to have some wiggle room in her budget is much more impt IMO than private elementary school unless your public is AWFUL or your child would def not do well there for some specific reason. Jay Mathews of Wa Post even says hands-down, the most impt factor through grade 6 is the child's family and the school, as long as it is pretty good, does not have such a huge impact. Not to say private won't be a nice experience but not worth a major sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Jay Mathews is an idiot, but even a stopped clock is right twice a day. And this may be one of those times. Basically, if your kid is excited about learning, if your local public won't stifle that excitement, and if you're able to monitor what DC's learning and supplement/reinforce where necessary, you're fine through elementary school. And that's an experiment you can certainly afford to make -- i.e. start in public and move if it's a problem -- because a single not-so-hot year isn't going to turn your kid off school permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back out of the school. If there is a waiting list, you could negotiate with the school to get out of the financial commitment. Especially as a single mother, do not get into a financial crisis to send your child to private when you have a good public option! Think of the airplane analogy -- put your safety mask on first, then help the child. You should be completely financially secure (fully funded retirement, emergency fund, no (or very small) mortgage) before spending on private school.
Just remember, when we were kids, the real "learning" in school didn't even begin until 6th grade (the theory back then was that cognitive abilities were better served through experiences/play/imagination) until approx. 6th grade. Do what is right for you financially first, then figure out school. Good luck.

Sorry, but I think you sound a little preachy. I am a single Mom and would happily work extra and sacrifice to pay tuition.I chose to have a child, my DC did not choose to be born to a single Mom. My child comes first before my investment portfolio. Our public is terrible and with the shrinking tax base everywhere most publics are making cuts in Art, Music, Honors programs across the board. If your child is lucky enough to get into a Private and you won't have to swallow the BS of teaching to the test, go for it!

That sounds like a great choice for YOU, but the OP expressed that she was "panicking" about tuition. Whether you think its preachy or not, she does not sound financially stable enough to make a big $$ tuition commitment. BTW, it sounds a bit "preachy" to say, as you did, that "my child comes first before my investment portfolio." That sounds a bit like you are suggesting that if OP really loves her kid, she'll pay tuition. Simply not true. This OP has real and valid concerns about her financial position. Please don't diminish her concerns simply b/c you would make a different decision.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, by middle school years social situations take over the decision making process for many kids. So unless friends are interested in private HS most middle schoolers won't be. Doesn't mean that you can't decide to go the private HS route-- we are the parents. But, that's why we focused on private elementary, because by 8th grade their minds are elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Food for thought: the same scenario could just as easily happen at a private. And, again, my point was if, after a year, you think public was the wrong choice, you can switch to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Back out of the school. If there is a waiting list, you could negotiate with the school to get out of the financial commitment. Especially as a single mother, do not get into a financial crisis to send your child to private when you have a good public option! Think of the airplane analogy -- put your safety mask on first, then help the child. You should be completely financially secure (fully funded retirement, emergency fund, no (or very small) mortgage) before spending on private school.
Just remember, when we were kids, the real "learning" in school didn't even begin until 6th grade (the theory back then was that cognitive abilities were better served through experiences/play/imagination) until approx. 6th grade. Do what is right for you financially first, then figure out school. Good luck.

Sorry, but I think you sound a little preachy. I am a single Mom and would happily work extra and sacrifice to pay tuition.I chose to have a child, my DC did not choose to be born to a single Mom. My child comes first before my investment portfolio. Our public is terrible and with the shrinking tax base everywhere most publics are making cuts in Art, Music, Honors programs across the board. If your child is lucky enough to get into a Private and you won't have to swallow the BS of teaching to the test, go for it!

That sounds like a great choice for YOU, but the OP expressed that she was "panicking" about tuition. Whether you think its preachy or not, she does not sound financially stable enough to make a big $$ tuition commitment. BTW, it sounds a bit "preachy" to say, as you did, that "my child comes first before my investment portfolio." That sounds a bit like you are suggesting that if OP really loves her kid, she'll pay tuition. Simply not true. This OP has real and valid concerns about her financial position. Please don't diminish her concerns simply b/c you would make a different decision.

OP didn't mention that her investment portfolio came first, that was a direct quote from a PP ,"make sure you are fully vested in your retirement fund before you take on Private school Tuition" . THAT is preachy. It is also elitist. Does it not occur to this poster that, DUH, an investment portfolio is a luxury that the majority of people living in Washington ( pay check to pay check) cannot even comprehend. To suggest that it should come first, before a good education for her child who may live in a terrible school district is out of line. Not just my two cents, but the right to a good education is one of the 5 universal rights of UN Universal rights of the child: housing,clean water, health care, education and freedom from war"...nowhere does it say , " oh and a parent with an investment portfolio"

[Anonymous]

.

OP didn't mention that her investment portfolio came first, that was a direct quote from a PP ,"make sure you are fully vested in your retirement fund before you take on Private school Tuition" . THAT is preachy. It is also elitist. Does it not occur to this poster that, DUH, an investment portfolio is a luxury that the majority of people living in Washington ( pay check to pay check) cannot even comprehend. To suggest that it should come first, before a good education for her child who may live in a terrible school district is out of line. Not just my two cents, but the right to a good education is one of the 5 universal rights of UN Universal rights of the child: housing,clean water, health care, education and freedom from war"...nowhere does it say , " oh and a parent with an investment portfolio"

op said she had a decent public option. to live paycheck to paycheck and pay for private school when you can't fund your 401(k) does not seem like a smart move to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.

OP didn't mention that her investment portfolio came first, that was a direct quote from a PP ,"make sure you are fully vested in your retirement fund before you take on Private school Tuition" . THAT is preachy. It is also elitist. Does it not occur to this poster that, DUH, an investment portfolio is a luxury that the majority of people living in Washington ( pay check to pay check) cannot even comprehend. To suggest that it should come first, before a good education for her child who may live in a terrible school district is out of line. Not just my two cents, but the right to a good education is one of the 5 universal rights of UN Universal rights of the child: housing,clean water, health care, education and freedom from war"...nowhere does it say , " oh and a parent with an investment portfolio"

op said she had a decent public option. to live paycheck to paycheck and pay for private school when you can't fund your 401(k) does not seem like a smart move to me. WOW!! It is not about you, or what you feel the priorities for this family are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:.

OP didn't mention that her investment portfolio came first, that was a direct quote from a PP ,"make sure you are fully vested in your retirement fund before you take on Private school Tuition" . THAT is preachy. It is also elitist. Does it not occur to this poster that, DUH, an investment portfolio is a luxury that the majority of people living in Washington ( pay check to pay check) cannot even comprehend. To suggest that it should come first, before a good education for her child who may live in a terrible school district is out of line. Not just my two cents, but the right to a good education is one of the 5 universal rights of UN Universal rights of the child: housing,clean water, health care, education and freedom from war"...nowhere does it say , " oh and a parent with an investment portfolio"

op said she had a decent public option. to live paycheck to paycheck and pay for private school when you can't fund your 401(k) does not seem like a smart move to me.

WOW!! It is not about you, or what you feel the priorities for this family are!

pp - not sure why you are so shocked by my post. pls read OP's post. she said she is panicking about tuition and is wondering whether to save her money for the middle school/ high school years. So, I am giving her my opinion. if I were in that situation, I would go public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Food for thought: the same scenario could just as easily happen at a private. And, again, my point was if, after a year, you think public was the wrong choice, you can switch to private.

Out of the blue, my four year old child said the following at the dinner table on Friday night, "Hey Dad, you suck." He goes to one of the highly talked about schools on this board and told us he learned it from one of the first graders on the playground. Lovely.