Rambunctious Boys

[Anonymous]

No. My child does not. He has friends who are, but he is not. He has lots of spirit, and lots of energy, but he is generally polite and does not trash people's houses.

19:58 is right: some combos are just awful. There are kids I just don't invite over.

As for telling the moms: I always appreciate it when people give me calm fact-based info about my son and his behavior. No one appreciates hearing about their child through the grapevine.

[Anonymous]

OP, I could have asked your question myself. My son has several different friends over regularly, and with one friend it particular, they boys get super wild. I don't think it is the other child specifically, so much as the combination of my son and the other child, they rile each other up and get wild. I need to intervene a lot in these playdates, and I will admit I would rather have over other kids who don't get SO rambunctious with my son.

I have been struggling with what to say to the other child's parents; kindly, they invite my child over a lot, and I reciprocate some, but not as much. I'm not sure if the boys behave better at the other child's house, or if the other parents are more tolerant of the wildness.

Any tips on how to discuss with the other parent without sounding like I'm blaming the other kid?

[Anonymous]

Agree that some boys and some combinations are just destructive. DS is 5 and some of his friends are "outdoor only" playdates--we meet at the park.

[Anonymous]

12:54: Blame it on your kid when you have the conversation, and you will learn what you need.

[Anonymous]

Um, this is D.C., you probably don't want to blame your kid for anything, Ever.

[Anonymous]

I think you have gotten good answers already but to add.......I have boys and one is very quiet and every seems to love & comment on and the other is hyper and everyone seems to comment on. However, the combination point is VERY well taken. Finally said to a friend "gosh, I hate it but our kids don't play well together." She agreed. This may be hard to say to everyone and I have met parents who are oblivious but they had played for enough years that I think both of us dreaded these playdates. So, almost never get kids together. We meet for coffee, wine to catch up. When my DC ask I say...."you don't play well together for some reason" and I tell them about all the friends they do play well with. And, for my hyper child....when he is with quiet kids he plays quietly -- even the teachers commented. So, I monitor this. I don't blame or dislike other hyper kids...I just know that they should not mix (or keep it to a minimum.) Of course...he is attracted to other rambunctious kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you have gotten good answers already but to add.......I have boys and one is very quiet and every seems to love & comment on and the other is hyper and everyone seems to comment on. However, the combination point is VERY well taken. Finally said to a friend "gosh, I hate it but our kids don't play well together." She agreed. This may be hard to say to everyone and I have met parents who are oblivious but they had played for enough years that I think both of us dreaded these playdates. So, almost never get kids together. We meet for coffee, wine to catch up. When my DC ask I say...."you don't play well together for some reason" and I tell them about all the friends they do play well with. And, for my hyper child....when he is with quiet kids he plays quietly -- even the teachers commented. So, I monitor this. I don't blame or dislike other hyper kids...I just know that they should not mix (or keep it to a minimum.) Of course...he is attracted to other rambunctious kids

I have a child like yours. I understand that some boys tend toward rambunctiousness. However, I am shocked at how disrespectful so many boys are to me when I tell them to calm down or stop behaving a certain way. I get a look from them that is a combination of shock (are YOU talkiing to ME?) and dismissive (just SHUT UP already) and then, while I stand there and watch, they will completely ignore the direction I just gave. I started just avoiding having these kids at my house, and hoping that my child won't be friends with them. But then I realized that my child is friends with these kids, if only at school, for now. So I put on my big girl panties then next time one of these boys came over and I did my usual schpeal when things got wild but this time, when I was ignorned, I got very serious and up in the face with them both and clearly said that this behavior was not ok and that if they did not settle down, I would call the parent and the playdate would end. And I did that. And the mom was apologetic, but at the same time acted like I was a a bit over the top and not on board with the 'boys will be boys' perspective. Oh well. I'm sick of the disrespect. And if my child was acting this way, I'd want consequences and I'd want to know. But I fear the eye roll and sighing is about all that he gets when he acts up at other's homes.