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really bitter
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Anonymous
| Do men get bitter about this? |
Anonymous
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to the OP and others who are feeling bitter. I am so sorry and totally get it. I think regardless of TTC for 3 months or 10 years, the pain of infertility hurts. for me, even if the pregnant person had trouble conceiving or has other problems or whatever - it doesn't take away my pain of not being able to conceive. what I mean by that is other people's "pain" doesn't bring me joy. All I see is that they succeeded and I didn't. They have this amazing gift that I can't have. simple as that. And it hurts. And to make matters worse, if it's someone I like - like a friend or family member - I'm filled with guilt because I.am.not.happy.for them. i am bitter and don't want to be around them. so, not only am I bitter, but I feel guilty about it and feel like a horrible mean person. Sometimes all i want to do is hybernate in my house and not talk or see anyone.
sorry we are all going through this. |
Anonymous
| I feel bitter too- just went for my first b/w & u/s for monitoring for IVF #4...only 1 follicle after 3.5 days of stims. And my sil is due in 6 weeks- it is a boy- he is having a bris- i do not know if i an handle it. And I am almost 43. =( |
Anonymous
| I'm bitter that we have to go away this weekend to visit relatives at *exactly* my special fertile window time. It's tough enough to get things going for me (libido/tightness issues), and now it'll pretty much not work out being in another location where privacy isn't exactly so great. Oh well, right. |
Anonymous
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I was TTC for about four years, underwent numerous fertility treatments and every single one failed. We used up all of our money because our health insurance would not pay for any of the treatments or medications. During those four years, I hosted numerous baby showers at my home for pregnant friends. I cooked meals and helped new moms who just came home with their babies. I also attended a birth when the father was not available. While I had a longing in my heart each time I saw a baby, I never felt bitter or resentful. I simply refused to let myself go down that road. Was it easy - heck no, but it paid off. When I finally had my own baby (miracle baby - conceived 'naturally'), I had the biggest babyshower ever and homecooked meals for over a month from friends who were just overjoyed for us.
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Anonymous
What a lovely story! |
Anonymous
Yes we do. But we hide it better and don't feel like people think the we are flawed. Even when it is due to our own health issues. Most people assume that it is the woman. But we definitely get bitter. |
Anonymous
I've been doing same things for my friends, but when I was going through my miscarriage only one called and offered help and support. Sounds like you have a better network of friends than I do. But I do refuse to get bitter - for now I just send gifts, but do not host or attend baby showers. |
Anonymous
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I've been doing same things for my friends, but when I was going through my miscarriage only one called and offered help and support. Sounds like you have a better network of friends than I do. But I do refuse to get bitter - for now I just send gifts, but do not host or attend baby showers. It is sad that they weren't able to be there for you, but sometimes people do not know what to do or say in such a situation. I went through a breast cancer scare once and had to have surgery and I received no calls or any kind of immediate support besides my immediate family and DH. What I did receive was cards and food. It was hard, but I understood that my friends were scared and afraid to say the wrong thing. Plus it brings home the vulnerability of how precious life really is. Most people have a hard time dealing with this and most would choose to ignore. Don't take it personally. I think when you get pregnant and have your baby, your friends will probably all be there. It is impossible not to celebrate such a happy occasion. |
woodyanita
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I can understand how difficult it is. But dont be pessimist about your TTC. Give yourself time and learn to adopt the life without stresses. It will help you a lot. Get the opinion about your problem at http://www.iwannagetpregnant.com and at http://www.iwannagetpregnant.com/surrogacy.asp
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Anonymous
| Choose to change your focus and stop destroying yourself with negative energy. |
Anonymous
Agreed- but easier said than done... i count the good things in my life when i get upset about ttc |