Why My Family Won't Be Moving to the Suburbs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On behalf of my family, my neighbors, my community, my geographical metropolitan area, thank you because there are already too many FAHEs here.

Friends of American Higher Education?

An acronym I made up, F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire."

Here is the complete list:

AH = asshole

FAH = F...ing A$$Hole

FAHE = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire

FAHER = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire Retired

FAHETA = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire Retired to the 100,000,000.00th power.

Only one person has ever made it to FAHER. An attorney of my acquaintance, who is not a former husband, adversary, or even friend, just a horrible man of whom it may be truly said that the only people who love him are those that do not know him.

I love your ridiculousness. When you verbally refer to someone as a "FAHE", do you spell it out F-A-H-E or do you just say FAHE?

[Anonymous]

I LOVE the suburbs. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. The dog runs and runs. There is no noise. The summers are great. LOTS of trees, birds, and so on. NEVER have to see "neighbors". Private life is truly private. I have a HUGE garden. My hobby is gardening. We have never been a victim of crime.

[Anonymous]

The OP sounds like the inverse of a suburban gun nut that obsesses about "safety" and "crime."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On behalf of my family, my neighbors, my community, my geographical metropolitan area, thank you because there are already too many FAHEs here.

Friends of American Higher Education?

An acronym I made up, F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire."

Here is the complete list:

AH = asshole

FAH = F...ing A$$Hole

FAHE = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire

FAHER = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire Retired

FAHETA = F...ing A$$Hole Extraodinaire Retired to the 100,000,000.00th power.

Only one person has ever made it to FAHER. An attorney of my acquaintance, who is not a former husband, adversary, or even friend, just a horrible man of whom it may be truly said that the only people who love him are those that do not know him.

I love your ridiculousness. When you verbally refer to someone as a "FAHE", do you spell it out F-A-H-E or do you just say FAHE?

Just say FAHE, or whichever category they fall into. It's nice because most people haven't the foggiest idea of what you're talking about. I suppose that may have changed now that I've posted it on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I LOVE the suburbs. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. The dog runs and runs. There is no noise. The summers are great. LOTS of trees, birds, and so on. NEVER have to see "neighbors". Private life is truly private. I have a HUGE garden. My hobby is gardening. We have never been a victim of crime.

I LOVE the city. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. There's very little noise (crickets at night during the summer are *loud*). Lots of trees, birds, and so on. Have fantastic neighbors (not "neighbors"), who watch our cat, our house, share babysitting when we want to see a movie or have a date. Private life is private, but public life is rich and rewarding. Have a community garden. We have never been a victim of crime.

Weird. City living sounds a lot like suburban living, only I can walk a few short blocks to the Rock & Roll Hotel, the ATLAS Theater, and the rest of H Street, or walk two blocks to a bike-share station and ride anywhere in the city. the National Arboretum is about a 4 minute bike ride away, etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I LOVE the suburbs. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. The dog runs and runs. There is no noise. The summers are great. LOTS of trees, birds, and so on. NEVER have to see "neighbors". Private life is truly private. I have a HUGE garden. My hobby is gardening. We have never been a victim of crime.

I LOVE the city. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. There's very little noise (crickets at night during the summer are *loud*). Lots of trees, birds, and so on. Have fantastic neighbors (not "neighbors"), who watch our cat, our house, share babysitting when we want to see a movie or have a date. Private life is private, but public life is rich and rewarding. Have a community garden. We have never been a victim of crime.

Weird. City living sounds a lot like suburban living, only I can walk a few short blocks to the Rock & Roll Hotel, the ATLAS Theater, and the rest of H Street, or walk two blocks to a bike-share station and ride anywhere in the city. the National Arboretum is about a 4 minute bike ride away, etc...

Clearly you're not exactly living in a high density urban area, even if you are inside the city limits--so there really is no difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I LOVE the suburbs. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. The dog runs and runs. There is no noise. The summers are great. LOTS of trees, birds, and so on. NEVER have to see "neighbors". Private life is truly private. I have a HUGE garden. My hobby is gardening. We have never been a victim of crime.

I LOVE the city. I can always park my car. My children run for miles. I run for miles. We ride for miles. There's very little noise (crickets at night during the summer are *loud*). Lots of trees, birds, and so on. Have fantastic neighbors (not "neighbors"), who watch our cat, our house, share babysitting when we want to see a movie or have a date. Private life is private, but public life is rich and rewarding. Have a community garden. We have never been a victim of crime.

Weird. City living sounds a lot like suburban living, only I can walk a few short blocks to the Rock & Roll Hotel, the ATLAS Theater, and the rest of H Street, or walk two blocks to a bike-share station and ride anywhere in the city. the National Arboretum is about a 4 minute bike ride away, etc...

Clearly you're not exactly living in a high density urban area, even if you are inside the city limits--so there really is no difference.

Depends what you mean by "high-density". It's about five blocks from H Street, and about a three minute bike ride from Eastern Market, a 7 minute bike ride to Union Station, and a 15 min bike ride to Chinatown. The crosstown bus comes about every 10-15 minutes.

I think you're being tautological. If it doesn't have the same density of the upper east side, its not a "city". double- I think any objective reader can see you're being silly.

[Anonymous]

Whatever the density requirements, it looks like the common thread here is that people who live in the suburbs really, really, *really* hate people who live in the suburbs.

[Anonymous]

A 15 minute bike ride to Chinatown ain't worth it, too long.