Holding back a boy in school-a jewish perspective?

[Anonymous]

OP,

If you do not hold him back, he goes to college a year earlier. Hold him back! I wish I had held back my son, for academic and social reasons. This will help him academically, socially and if he's athletic, with sports teams, he'll be one of the oldest, not one of the youngest.

[Anonymous]

14:19 - you sound like a reasonable person, thank you. I honestly can't believe how many people hold their poor child back, as if they are somehow punishing them. It would really better to have the option, OP. Don't do it to your child now, don't hold him back. He has no say now, it just isn't fair to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many people use their own experience as being the youngest in their class as justification for not holding a child back today.

Different time, people. Really. Times have changed.

OP - only you (and your DH) can determine if your child is ready. If he is - go for it. My son just missed the cut-off by 10 days, so he will be one of the older kids in his class. FWIW, he is one of MANY in his pre-K class that have Oct. birthdays. So your DS would likely be only a few weeks older than a lot of kids...

Honest question here, I don't see how there is any real generational difference in making this decision. The considerations are all the same: emotional/mental maturity, comparisons to others, late or early in milestones such as driving, physical abiltiy in sports, etc. These concerns have always been there. So, I think that good experiences being the youngest in the class are just as relevant if they occurred 20 years ago or 5 years ago.

The difference is the push-down of curriculum. First grade as we knew it is kindergarten for our children.

[Anonymous]

Our kid is one of the youngest in the class (July birthday), but ahead of most of the class in several subjects. When DC was about to enter K, we asked the pre-K teacher about holding back and were told absolutely not, that DC would be bored silly. We did not hold DC back. We figure DC will have the option of a gap year after high school.

[Anonymous]

OK, here's an honest answer, based solely on your specific question. It is better to be one of the first Bar Mitzvahs in the class than the last. You don't have to think of something new and different for the party (because everything is new and different), and the kids are better behaved because it is novel. That said, I wouldn't base the decision on this - it's not a really big deal at all.

[Anonymous]

How is your child doing in school? If he's ready to forward, he should. The rest is just a matter of timing
I was the youngest in my class with a November birthday. I needed to go forward and did.

[Anonymous]

I'm a fall birthday on the younger side of my year. My bat mitzvah was in October of 8th grade. It was fine--the worst part was having to study my torah portion at sleepaway camp. This really is incredibly unimportant. I would never even consider holding my kid in preschool another year for something like this.