What do you do with an adult child who refuses to grow up?

[Anonymous]

I have several friends with kids in their late 20s who do not have a drivers license. They are terrified of driving. And they live in neighborhoods, not large cities with public transportation.

It's akin to a mental condition. They have college degrees, however in majors that aren't easily employable (Art, English, Journalism).

The kids finally got jobs as servers or working at entertainment venues. At first, the parents drove them to work, just grateful that the kid was working. Now they have access to Uber. These are kids who potentially have mental conditions and while no one says it out loud, I know my friends are worried about pushing a kid over the edge to becoming suicidal.

And yes, they have gotten counseling for the "kids", but that's not always an open/shut solution.

[Anonymous]

Ask her to leave or pay rent. She'll figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Say, time to move out sweetie. We’ll pay your first month rent on apartment. You’re an adult now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to leave or pay rent. She'll figure it out.

Paying rent isn’t worth it. Then they think they are entitled to everything in the house without any work or effort.
Simply time to move out

[Anonymous]

Start by cutting off her phone. Tell her she has to get her own phone and pay for it herself. Also, make her arrange her own transportation. Chances are, the boyfriend will drive her around, but if she wants a ride from you, tell her to get a rideshare and pay for it herself.

[Anonymous]

Can you sit down with her and open a bank account? My teen has one, at 18 it will be his own. Check.
Buy her an online drivers ed course like they have for teens. Have her do it, say you’ll pay her for each chapter or something. Just baby steps like you’d do with a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 24-year-old daughter has no driver's license, no ID, no bank account, and has never had a job. She doesn’t contribute to the household in any meaningful way.

When jobs come up, she says she doesn’t want to be a "wage slave," and believes regular jobs are beneath her, but she also has no alternative plan.

We've offered help, encouragement, and suggestions for years. Nothing changes.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Are you the weirdo who starts threads about a supposed adult daughter who refuses to work, and then you start a discussion on how women can just get married and never work?

Because you've posted multiple times on this topic before.

+1. Get a life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 24-year-old daughter has no driver's license, no ID, no bank account, and has never had a job. She doesn’t contribute to the household in any meaningful way.

When jobs come up, she says she doesn’t want to be a "wage slave," and believes regular jobs are beneath her, but she also has no alternative plan.

We've offered help, encouragement, and suggestions for years. Nothing changes.

You give her 30 days notice and then allow her to become homeless.

No, I am not joking.

[Anonymous]

This is all your fault OP
Good luck though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Are you the weirdo who starts threads about a supposed adult daughter who refuses to work, and then you start a discussion on how women can just get married and never work?

Because you've posted multiple times on this topic before.

+1. Get a life.

+2 DCUM troll quality is so low these days. No variety, no creativity. 0/5 stars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She can be a trad wife if she can find a trad husband.
Is she good-looking and charming enough to be a trophy for a wealth man?

OP says she doesn’t help around the house in any meaningful way. I’m not faulting tradwives but OP’s daughter is lazy and unmotivated and trad wives have to get all kinds of stuff done without any external motivators like a boss or paycheck.

[Anonymous]

That's all fine if she's living on her own. Which she should be. My boys are allowed to live any way they want to, it doesn't affect me, but they won't do it in my house! I would boot her out, and move on with your life. Genuinely. Let her deal with her own self. Right now she's making it your problem. Somehow!

[Anonymous]

Is she pretty? That may help but otherwise sounds a little hopeless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. She did go to college, and have internships but no job. We pay for things for her, and she has a boyfriend who gives her money. She does have a passport, just no ID.

This is bizarre OP. She needs to start doing adult.things, and if her boyfriend pays for her, is she living with him now?

She sounds like she has some real mental health / developmental issues and needs some help being walked through basic adult responsibilities in the US, like getting a driver's license.