Next chapter

[Anonymous]

OP - sharing support. We are also very pleased to be done. There is fair criticism over every school AND in my experience the fair criticism of Beauvoir is weirdly pushed aside. I would have made a different choice knowing now what I know - the teacher quality extremely variable, lack of consistent curriculum and education philosophy, and outplacement only focused on the Cathedral Schools. Half of the children in my older child's class were receiving extensive out of school support because they were not at grade level. While there will always be kids receiving support, it's unusual for half of a class to not be comfortable readers at the end of 1st grade. Very few families choose Beauvoir for Beauvoir - they choose it for the best path to NCS / STA. Because of that, the whole experience is focused on NCS / STA - who's gotten in? Are you planning on going? Etc - this all started in prek. The school doesn't have to stand on its own and compete against the other elementary schools. If it did, it would come up short. I know many people who have had great experiences - it seems like they got lucky and knew what they wanted (NCS / STA) and that was the right answer for their kid in 2nd grade. Others who didn't get lucky with teachers or who realized their kids wouldn't be well served at NCS / STA or who realized they didn't like the community on the Close and wanted different are SOL. We are very happy to be done.

[Anonymous]

Some people don’t see their child’s school as merely “school” and that their family life should have a greater impact on molding their young children, but rather they see the school as a “life style” and that it somehow designates they as a family are special and superior. Those people are so shocked when a family decides to leave the toxic culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - sharing support. We are also very pleased to be done. There is fair criticism over every school AND in my experience the fair criticism of Beauvoir is weirdly pushed aside. I would have made a different choice knowing now what I know - the teacher quality extremely variable, lack of consistent curriculum and education philosophy, and outplacement only focused on the Cathedral Schools. Half of the children in my older child's class were receiving extensive out of school support because they were not at grade level. While there will always be kids receiving support, it's unusual for half of a class to not be comfortable readers at the end of 1st grade. Very few families choose Beauvoir for Beauvoir - they choose it for the best path to NCS / STA. Because of that, the whole experience is focused on NCS / STA - who's gotten in? Are you planning on going? Etc - this all started in prek. The school doesn't have to stand on its own and compete against the other elementary schools. If it did, it would come up short. I know many people who have had great experiences - it seems like they got lucky and knew what they wanted (NCS / STA) and that was the right answer for their kid in 2nd grade. Others who didn't get lucky with teachers or who realized their kids wouldn't be well served at NCS / STA or who realized they didn't like the community on the Close and wanted different are SOL. We are very happy to be done.

Including you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a current parent, my reflections on our experience at Beauvoir has left me deeply disappointed as we end the year.

What has frustrated me most is the apparent inability of the school community to engage constructively with criticism. Concerns raised by parents are often dismissed rather than addressed, creating an environment where honest discussion feels unwelcome. Indeed, any critical post of the school has been locked or erased from this site. I fully expect the same to happen with this thread.

One of the biggest problems is the quality of teaching is highly uneven. Our experience over the years has shown that quality varies dramatically from classroom to classroom, and that inconsistency can have a significant impact on young children during formative years.

The culture can also feel surprisingly insular and status-conscious. Rather than the warm and supportive community I expected, I have often found the parent community to be competitive, cliquish, and lacking (ironically) in empathy.

For families with boys, the transition process to the next schools can be especially stressful. Decisions regarding placement and admissions often feel opaque, and when children are not accepted to expected destinations, families are left searching for explanations. Whether or not those explanations exist, the lack of transparency can be painful for both parents and children with profound and lasting impacts.

I was also disappointed by the limited support available to families considering options outside the traditional Cathedral school pathway for our kids. At times, it felt as though families pursuing alternative routes were largely on their own. It seems that trend is starting to change, and for the better.

What saddens me most is that these dynamics affect very young children. This is an age when schools should be building confidence, curiosity, and a sense of belonging. Instead, the pressure, competition, and uncertainty can feel disproportionate to the age of the students involved.

I know many families have had positive experiences, and I respect that. Mine has been different. For us, leaving Beauvoir this week will be a relief rather than a regret.

OP, you've written a lot here and I think your post is sincere and serious. If I were considering schools for a child of this age, I would very much appreciate what you've contributed to the conversation.

However, as a long time DMV private school parent (not at Beauvoir now), I will say to you that the part that I have bolded above is on you to prevent. If you are allowing school decisions that come in the 3rd grade to 8 and 9 year old children to have a "profound and lasting impact," then you need to examine your own behavior on the subject. And if pressure and competition is out of line for students of this age, and I have no doubt that for many it is, then it is up to parents to step in and say "enough." I would never allow a child of this age to absorb such negative feedback from a school or an admissions process and decision.

I will never forget, years ago, hearing a 4 YO in our preschool tell me that she "got into XX school." Obviously, that is the language that she had absorbed at home; that she had achieved something grand at the age of 4. That struck me at the time as both odd and sad. Kids of this age do not need to be exposed to this, and it's up to parents to prevent it from causing this so-called long term impact.

DP who also did not choose BVR for my child, and respectfully, I partially disagree. While I agree that in part this is up to the parent themselves, if the culture is deep within the school, the parent won't be able to do much to protect their child beyond choosing a different environment (which is actually why we chose the choice that we did and not BVR despite being legacy on the close). I believe OP is regretting not realizing it sooner and falsely believing exactly what the PP is saying, that the pressure comes from the parents alone and can be prevented with parental intervention... it sadly does not. While I agree the preschool age range is probably a strong parental influence and hardly even sinks in for the child, by 2nd grade, kids are internalizing what their peers are saying a lot more without the maturity to understand the crap shoot that is private school admissions at times.

[Anonymous]

I agree that the culture on the close can be suffocating and hard to get away from. Writing this as a family that abhors much of the culture and used to be there. It is very hard to overcome at home if your child is around it all day and with friends on weekends and hearing things from friends and teachers, or seeing behaviors, that don’t exactly line up to your own family values. There are some families who have kids who let it roll off their backs more than others or who perhaps have a smaller more disconnected friend group so it doesn’t seep in as much. Very hard with very socially inclined girls or more emotionally attuned boys.

[Anonymous]

Only school we toured and didn’t end up applying. Admissions staff seemed very warm but the curriculum/teaching seemed so watered down. Very limited diversity. People were paying for the name and not the quality. We saw through it.

[Anonymous]

We’ve only been at the school 1 year so some will say give it time, but overall we had a good experience with the school and community this year, and I consider myself a fairly involved parent. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few issues with the school but nothing super alarming. I disagree with the comments about curriculum- before we enrolled I spoke with families from other schools including Sidwell, and they said the strong top-down curriculum was actually one of the advantages of BVR over Sidwell. Unfortunately there is uneven teacher quality at every school- that’s just part of private school in a high COL city where good teachers are in short demand. But BVR’s top-down curriculum ensures all the classes are more or less getting the same instruction.
My main gripe with the community is actually that I find them under-engaged with the school and their kid. We’re not super rich and I felt like I didn’t fit in with the superstar career execs busy with their high-powered DC social lives and nannies round the clock doing pickups and play dates. But I found them nice enough and relatively inclusive even though I definitely don’t fit in. I wouldn’t plan on making friends there as I have at other schools. I have a feeling as we get older we are going to have to deal with entitled kids in our peer group, but that’s a hazard of private school in NW DC (and maybe some publics as well).
I found the admin staff including HOS to be wonderfully engaging and responsive. They know your child by name and were very responsive on the occasion I raised an issue. I thought there was a nice balance of community and parent events as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been at the school 1 year so some will say give it time, but overall we had a good experience with the school and community this year, and I consider myself a fairly involved parent. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few issues with the school but nothing super alarming. I disagree with the comments about curriculum- before we enrolled I spoke with families from other schools including Sidwell, and they said the strong top-down curriculum was actually one of the advantages of BVR over Sidwell. Unfortunately there is uneven teacher quality at every school- that’s just part of private school in a high COL city where good teachers are in short demand. But BVR’s top-down curriculum ensures all the classes are more or less getting the same instruction.
My main gripe with the community is actually that I find them under-engaged with the school and their kid. We’re not super rich and I felt like I didn’t fit in with the superstar career execs busy with their high-powered DC social lives and nannies round the clock doing pickups and play dates. But I found them nice enough and relatively inclusive even though I definitely don’t fit in. I wouldn’t plan on making friends there as I have at other schools. I have a feeling as we get older we are going to have to deal with entitled kids in our peer group, but that’s a hazard of private school in NW DC (and maybe some publics as well).
I found the admin staff including HOS to be wonderfully engaging and responsive. They know your child by name and were very responsive on the occasion I raised an issue. I thought there was a nice balance of community and parent events as well.

I really hope you get lucky and it continues to go well for you but FWIW, the wheels really come off in 1st grade. As the academics start to matter you or your friends will see the issues mentioned here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NCS parent here. It scares me to see the pipeline of students and parents that are coming/may be joining the NCS community. NCS has worked hard to focus on the whole child and an inclusive environment but the next batch of BVR parents/students gives me the ick. I'm sorry for your experiences.

OMG, you clearly don’t have a rising freshman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been at the school 1 year so some will say give it time, but overall we had a good experience with the school and community this year, and I consider myself a fairly involved parent. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few issues with the school but nothing super alarming. I disagree with the comments about curriculum- before we enrolled I spoke with families from other schools including Sidwell, and they said the strong top-down curriculum was actually one of the advantages of BVR over Sidwell. Unfortunately there is uneven teacher quality at every school- that’s just part of private school in a high COL city where good teachers are in short demand. But BVR’s top-down curriculum ensures all the classes are more or less getting the same instruction.
My main gripe with the community is actually that I find them under-engaged with the school and their kid. We’re not super rich and I felt like I didn’t fit in with the superstar career execs busy with their high-powered DC social lives and nannies round the clock doing pickups and play dates. But I found them nice enough and relatively inclusive even though I definitely don’t fit in. I wouldn’t plan on making friends there as I have at other schools. I have a feeling as we get older we are going to have to deal with entitled kids in our peer group, but that’s a hazard of private school in NW DC (and maybe some publics as well).
I found the admin staff including HOS to be wonderfully engaging and responsive. They know your child by name and were very responsive on the occasion I raised an issue. I thought there was a nice balance of community and parent events as well.

What do you mean by top down curriculum? Can you please explain

[Anonymous]

I have older kids who are approaching college and these problems at Beauvoir are not new. When my kids were 5-7 years old, people were complaining about the teacher quality and weak curriculum at Beauvoir. They also complained about disruptive kids who were allowed to run wild and wreak havoc either because they were donors kids or teachers had weak classroom management skills. Not sure if that is an issue at the moment. And there was very little support on transitioning to schools other than the cathedral schools. But the playground is lovely and the school building is charming

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thursday was rough. Had to take a couple of days to process. I'm still processing. I see some comments that say we are to blame. Probably that's true. We're outsiders and didn't know the rules of the game until it was nearly over. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for putting my child through that system. For not wising up sooner. This year has taken a toll on DC no matter what we say or do. I just hope that others can learn from others and spare their own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thursday was rough. Had to take a couple of days to process. I'm still processing. I see some comments that say we are to blame. Probably that's true. We're outsiders and didn't know the rules of the game until it was nearly over. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for putting my child through that system. For not wising up sooner. This year has taken a toll on DC no matter what we say or do. I just hope that others can learn from others and spare their own children.

Hang in there OP! I really wish we had crossed paths. You are not alone and know there are many parents who feel the same way. It’s time to close the chapter and move on to the next. Your family will be fine, it’s just a school, these kids are young and you’re on to the next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve only been at the school 1 year so some will say give it time, but overall we had a good experience with the school and community this year, and I consider myself a fairly involved parent. Don’t get me wrong I’ve had a few issues with the school but nothing super alarming. I disagree with the comments about curriculum- before we enrolled I spoke with families from other schools including Sidwell, and they said the strong top-down curriculum was actually one of the advantages of BVR over Sidwell. Unfortunately there is uneven teacher quality at every school- that’s just part of private school in a high COL city where good teachers are in short demand. But BVR’s top-down curriculum ensures all the classes are more or less getting the same instruction.
My main gripe with the community is actually that I find them under-engaged with the school and their kid. We’re not super rich and I felt like I didn’t fit in with the superstar career execs busy with their high-powered DC social lives and nannies round the clock doing pickups and play dates. But I found them nice enough and relatively inclusive even though I definitely don’t fit in. I wouldn’t plan on making friends there as I have at other schools. I have a feeling as we get older we are going to have to deal with entitled kids in our peer group, but that’s a hazard of private school in NW DC (and maybe some publics as well).
I found the admin staff including HOS to be wonderfully engaging and responsive. They know your child by name and were very responsive on the occasion I raised an issue. I thought there was a nice balance of community and parent events as well.

What do you mean by top down curriculum? Can you please explain

Meaning the class curriculum is set school-wide per grade to meet overall objectives, not by the individual teachers. It seems like the individual teachers have very little control over what they’re doing in the class. All four classes use the same materials, more or less do the same activities each week, progress at the same rate. Whereas when I was comparing to Sidwell, it seemed like at Sidwell there was a more open curriculum and the individual teachers had more control over what activities and pace the kids were learning at. At first I thought giving that teacher more flexibility would be better, but Sidwell parents told me it could also be problematic if you had a weaker teacher. Also I spoke with several Beauvoir teachers who told me they genuinely like the curriculum. I don’t know who actually builds the curriculum and how that process works, but they do seem to dedicate a lot of resources to professional development.

I will add BVR also has a ton of additional resource teachers, so if an individual student is not keeping up with the pace of the overall class, that child is typically given individual support so the whole class can keep moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but 2nd poster (don’t want to be accused of sock puppeting)- while we don’t find the parent community great, I want to be clear that our most significant issue has been teacher quality. It is very uneven- each grade has amazing teachers, but each grade has incredibly poor teachers. The variability is too wide to ensure a consistent minimal bar that’s acceptable. Even parents who love the school share stories about their one (or two) bad years. There are only 5 years- one or two bad years means a large minority of your experience is bad. The administration appetite for concerns about teachers is nil. I work in the education space and believe that administration should support teachers…however the Beauvoir admin seems to believe that teachers can do no wrong and if there’s a problem it’s because of the parents and kids. Sometimes it is! But the assumption that your staff is infallible is very odd, and damaging to children and families who have legitimate concerns.

Anyway- best of luck OP. NCS parent, there are some lovely kids and families joining your community. Unfortunately there are many families and children harmed by their Beauvoir experience (some of whom may be joining you at NCS too). We are truly counting the days (three more including today!) and will be celebrating hard after Thursday chapel.

How do you define a “bad” teacher? I am curious. I have had 3 kids growing through BVR and most teachers were fine. I cannot think of any “bad” teacher. I can think of 2 outstanding teachers my kids had that got them… they were the perfect teachers for my kids because they formed a special bond with them. I bet other parents do not feel the same way I feel about those 2 teachers.

Maybe we have been very lucky at BVR but with 13+ different classes, I think I can say the teachers have all been good.