Saying “what” after someone asks you something is so incredibly rude

[Anonymous]

I generally say "pardon?" or "excuse me?" or even "I'm sorry can I you repeat that?"

But when I really do spike someone and am annoyed with them, I occasionally just say "what?" This most often comes out in customer service situations where I'm getting the run around.

It is definitely rude and disdainful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, well, you just wait until you start losing your hearing.

+1
F off with this crap. I'm deaf in one ear, very unexpectedly and rapidly. If I can't hear you, which happens to me all day, every day I'm so hearing fatigued that after a while I don't have it in me to sugar coat saying "what?" Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn’t raised in a home that focused on this but it hit me today when I was talking to another adult. It just comes across as rude.

Say “Sorry, I didn’t hear you” or “What did you say?” Anything else .

“Stop mumbling, b iatch, I can’t f—king hear you!”

Better?

[Anonymous]

I usually say "sorry, what?" many times a day. In a polite tone. Or "sorry, what was that?"

Similar to another poster, I once said in what I thought was a totally polite tone of voice "what?" to a Black woman who had said something to me and she looked so incredibly insulted and aghast that I was shocked. She also handed it to me for being rude, I felt so awful, people in my very white area of Northern VA where I grew up used "what" in normal conversation all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, well, you just wait until you start losing your hearing.

+1
F off with this crap. I'm deaf in one ear, very unexpectedly and rapidly. If I can't hear you, which happens to me all day, every day I'm so hearing fatigued that after a while I don't have it in me to sugar coat saying "what?" Deal with it.

I'm hearing impaired and I would never say what. People like you give those of us who are hearing impaired a bad name. People have very little patience with us as is. A simple, Sorry, I didn't hear you, or just Pardon? can't tax you so much more than an abrupt What?

[Anonymous]

This my DH all day long. My favorite is when he leaves the room while I'm still talking then asks "what." Perhaps if you stop walking while we're talking you could hear me better.

[Anonymous]

"what" is fine.

[Anonymous]

It's not rude. It's a completely normal and acceptable way to communicate you need the information repeated for whatever reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, well, you just wait until you start losing your hearing.

+1
F off with this crap. I'm deaf in one ear, very unexpectedly and rapidly. If I can't hear you, which happens to me all day, every day I'm so hearing fatigued that after a while I don't have it in me to sugar coat saying "what?" Deal with it.

I'm hearing impaired and I would never say what. People like you give those of us who are hearing impaired a bad name. People have very little patience with us as is. A simple, Sorry, I didn't hear you, or just Pardon? can't tax you so much more than an abrupt What?

Who said I’m abrupt? I’m not. But if someone is hearing “what” from me multiple times, that’s on them to speak up. If they hear “what” from me once, they can deal with it. 95% of the time I say “pardon” or “can you repeat that” so if I, as the one who engages this way tons of times a day, can remain graceful 95% of the time, the receiver of “what” can extend me some grace and not police my language which is now borne out of fatigue and frustration. I will never apologize for not being able to hear, so “sorry, I didn’t hear you” is never going to happen. That’s a mental and emotional toll I’m not willing to take on all day, every day. Your hearing loss is likely different from mine, so you do you, and let those of us who experienced trauma say “what” a few times without getting scolded for it.

That goes for OP. Grace is a two way street.

[Anonymous]

You’re not apologizing for not being able to hear, you’re acknowledging the inconvenience of making them repeat themself.

[Anonymous]

My dad says "huh?" a lot and it means everything from "I didn't hear you" to "I heard you but don't understand" to "I heard you and could understand but I don't want to put the effort in" to "you're an idiot and I think the things you say are incredibly stupid."

I really hate "huh?"

I'm okay with "what?" as long as it's not said in a really rude tone of voice.

[Anonymous]

It's funny to me people are saying that "what?" offends black women because I was literally juuuuust watching "Amber Says What?" from Seth Myers, and it's literally just a black woman comically saying "what?" to various pop culture and current event items. It's very funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally say "pardon?" or "excuse me?" or even "I'm sorry can I you repeat that?"

But when I really do spike someone and am annoyed with them, I occasionally just say "what?" This most often comes out in customer service situations where I'm getting the run around.

It is definitely rude and disdainful.

And I'll respond that a watt is a unit of energy equal to one joule per second.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about incredibly rude, but there’s definitely better ways to put it.

I went to college in southern Ohio, and some people from that area would say “please?” if they missed part of the conversation. At first, it was completely confusing and I haven’t heard it since I moved to the DMV.

[Anonymous]

I usually say "What did you say? I can't hear you" on the phone. I want to be clear it's the sound transmission not the understanding.