Avoiding pushy hospital lactation consultant?

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to breastfeed, go straight to formula (although I would try breastfeeding first), but I would not recommend pumping if you don’t have to. It’s awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Know that this is an unusual decision when it’s your first child and you have not tried breastfeeding yet. Early on, babies eat every two hours so you will be spending half an hour pumping, half an hour feeding, and then only have an hour off. You’re volunteering to take on twice the work and a nurse may want to persuade you otherwise or just understand why. It’s the first of many things in parenting that are new to you until you have experienced them, and it’s hard to make a choice ahead of time without knowing.

^Antifeminist has entered the chat.

Huh? What on earth is anti feminist about trying to save another mom time and likely her sanity? OP is not making an informed choice. She is choosing to pump without ever having pumped. All of us on the thread who have actually pumped are trying to help her by letting her know her plan is insane.

I have exclusively pumped, exclusively breastfed, and combo fed. All of my kids’ first food after birth was formula. I’m pro whatever works and mom wants.

Pumping is awful. Someone needs to tell OP. She needs to try all the various methods of feeding before making a choice. Yes, LCs are pushy and irritating. Just say not right now and repeat until you leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do, do NOT accept medical advice from medical professionals.

Be strong.

You’re being snarky and condescending, but OP clearly plans to give birth in a hospital with the assistance of medical professionals, so I don’t think she’s one of “those” people. Due to medical complications and life circumstances (work schedules), not everyone is able to breastfeed for the recommended amount of time (or even at all).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to avoid a pushy lactation consultant when giving birth in a hospital? I’m a first-time mom but have heard an unsettling story from my SIL about the lactation consultant at the hospital she delivered in (granted, this did happen in another state - South Dakota). My SIL had made it clear that she would not be breastfeeding, but the LC (who was also a nurse at the hospital) still came into the room not long after birth and basically tried forcing it. (SIL did say that the LC was nice and friendly but still heavily tacked on the guilt and pressure.)

I plan to exclusively pump. I’m open to the plan changing (if I find that pumping isn’t working out), but I’m certain that I do not want someone grabbing my breasts right after I’ve given birth and will realistically be exhausted. I’m typically a very passive person and people pleaser, so I know that it will be challenging for me to communicate my wishes in this situation. Respectfully, I really don’t want this thread to be derailed by turning into a debate on breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. I respect everyone’s personal choice.

This doesn't happen

[Anonymous]

Plan on bringing PLENTY of formula with you if the thought of using formula ever enters your head, OP. I would assume that your SIL delivered at what’s called a baby-friendly hospital. They’re very hands on and enthusiastic about breastfeeding. They discourage formula unless it’s the literal last resort option. The goal is to encourage and support women in breastfeeding. This is great for someone who wants to breastfeed but not so great for someone who has decided not to do so. I can tell that some PP have not delivered at one of these facilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t want to breastfeed, go straight to formula (although I would try breastfeeding first), but I would not recommend pumping if you don’t have to. It’s awful.

+100 I ended up exclusively pumping (after trying to breastfeed unsuccessfully) and man oh man I would 100% recommend trying to breastfeed instead, or go straight to formula. You lose at least 30 min every time, which means having half an hour to sleep, or sometimes no time to sleep every baby wake cycle. I was able to bf my second and oh my goodness night and day better.

[Anonymous]

OP, tell everyone who will be there with you in the hospital supporting you during and after birth. Spouse, friend, parent, doula—whoever. Ask them to be ready to run interference. Keep in mind that once you express your decision to any lactation consultant who comes to talk to you, you are entitled to end the conversation. You don’t owe it to them to keep talking about it, you don’t owe it to them to try to convince them that you know what you are talking about. Feel free to say something like, “Thank you for coming. I have told you what my intentions are, and now I would like to rest, so could you please head out of my room?” You could add that you have their contact information in case you want to reach out in future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to avoid a pushy lactation consultant when giving birth in a hospital? I’m a first-time mom but have heard an unsettling story from my SIL about the lactation consultant at the hospital she delivered in (granted, this did happen in another state - South Dakota). My SIL had made it clear that she would not be breastfeeding, but the LC (who was also a nurse at the hospital) still came into the room not long after birth and basically tried forcing it. (SIL did say that the LC was nice and friendly but still heavily tacked on the guilt and pressure.)

I plan to exclusively pump. I’m open to the plan changing (if I find that pumping isn’t working out), but I’m certain that I do not want someone grabbing my breasts right after I’ve given birth and will realistically be exhausted. I’m typically a very passive person and people pleaser, so I know that it will be challenging for me to communicate my wishes in this situation. Respectfully, I really don’t want this thread to be derailed by turning into a debate on breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. I respect everyone’s personal choice.

This doesn't happen

I'm sure it happened to someone at some point, but the idea that OP could take SIL's story and imagine it's so highly likely that she needs to create a thread about it and set up a battle plan is... completely nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible to avoid a pushy lactation consultant when giving birth in a hospital? I’m a first-time mom but have heard an unsettling story from my SIL about the lactation consultant at the hospital she delivered in (granted, this did happen in another state - South Dakota). My SIL had made it clear that she would not be breastfeeding, but the LC (who was also a nurse at the hospital) still came into the room not long after birth and basically tried forcing it. (SIL did say that the LC was nice and friendly but still heavily tacked on the guilt and pressure.)

I plan to exclusively pump. I’m open to the plan changing (if I find that pumping isn’t working out), but I’m certain that I do not want someone grabbing my breasts right after I’ve given birth and will realistically be exhausted. I’m typically a very passive person and people pleaser, so I know that it will be challenging for me to communicate my wishes in this situation. Respectfully, I really don’t want this thread to be derailed by turning into a debate on breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. I respect everyone’s personal choice.

This doesn't happen

I'm sure it happened to someone at some point, but the idea that OP could take SIL's story and imagine it's so highly likely that she needs to create a thread about it and set up a battle plan is... completely nuts.

We're all a little nuts when we're pregnant, and a lot of us had/have body issues or fears about the way we'd be treated at the hospital. Cut OP some slack. This is no weirder than worrying about how you'll be treated in L&D.

OP, it's extremely unlikely that anyone will touch you without your permission, and if they try you can tell them to get bent (or have a partner tell them). I agree with a PP who suggested you may want to draw the boundaries that are actually boundaries (don't touch me, or I'm not breastfeeding, or whatever) and stay open to how the baby is getting fed outside of those boundaries.

FWIW, I wanted to breastfeed, and did so, and I still didn't like the hospital LC. She criticized my baby's chin and I have never hated anyone more than in that moment, lol. But I found a lovely LC at my OB's practice who was supportive of bottles and pumping as a way to get dad involved in feeding, while still supporting me in breastfeeding. Stay open.

[Anonymous]

I had a neutral experience with both my kids with the LC. Mostly wanted to say that I exclusively pumped with my first for 9 months and it really worked for me. I did not find it uncomfortable and enjoyed the pumping breaks as an excuse to pass the baby to someone else and have a moment of alone time. Just buy good pumping bras and get multiple sets of pump parts. Also buy bottles that are compatible with your pump parts so you don’t always have to transfer the milk.

[Anonymous]

Why exclusively pump? Breastfeeding is so much faster! I pumped a lot at work but it’s painful and takes forever. FWIW I didn’t want to breastfeed but baby had other ideas. She refused every single bottle ever presented to her before she was 4 months (when she was forced by our nanny).

If you don’t want the lactation consultant, just say you’re not interested.

[Anonymous]

If you are planning on pumping exclusively, you could talk to the LC about that. You may have questions about lactation that don't include hands-on assistance breastfeeding your baby.

I delivered at Sibley and never even saw a LC. They said one would come by, but that never happened. I would try to be less concerned that someone is going to abuse you at the hospital and more concerned about getting what you can out of the expertise being offered you.

And the poster with the litany about breastfeeding should get bent. That is not helpful for the discourse in the slightest. Gives everyone else a bad name.

- nursed 1 baby for 6 months and 1 baby for 3 years and 6 months

[Anonymous]

I do remember people grabbing my boobs, and I can’t remember whether they asked. I would just make it clear to the nurses that you want permission before anyone touches you, and make sure they write that on the board in the room. That said, you may need help learning to use a pump, which may require a lactation consultant to touch you.

Like others have said, “baby friendly” hospitals get funding based on how many people they convince to breastfeed. I was unsure of a feeding plan when my first was born, and I definitely felt some pressure to try breastfeeding. (Which ultimately didn’t work for us.) However, with my second I was more confident, and once I made it clear that I would be using formula, they backed off. There was even formula in the room for me to use. I also was more confident about using the nursery to get some rest.

[Anonymous]

Hated breastfeeding. Found pumping MUCH easier.

For many women, breastfeeding is hell.

[Anonymous]

There are many threads about EPing. Take a look. Many say their main regret is that they did it instead of formula.