Fifth grader punches bed, hates the idea of getting up early to go to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you PPs! I am cautious raising an AA son that showing any type of agression that’s been accepted in the home to the outside world is a danger. From that, I don’t allow punching the bed, pillows, the walls, etc… It is one thing that’s viewed differently by others when it’s shown by a black male much like many other details.

I’d rather he understand that there may always be frustration in going to school, but he has to power thru and get his education.its a law and required.

Stop telling him that's why he's in school. He's in school to learn, not because it's the law. I mean I know it's the truth but then it sounds like there's not benefits from it.

[Anonymous]

I’m a public school teacher. School is long and boring, especially for on task kids of average or above intelligence. We could cover the academic parts in probably two hours. Some kids like enrichment/extension activities to pass the time but other kids just view that is punishment.

It would be a lot better if we could shorten school and track kids, and not tolerate behaviors. But sped parents would freak out and we’d have to find a solution to the daycare piece.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't concern me in the least. He can be grumpy all he wants as long as he actually gets out the door.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you PPs! I am cautious raising an AA son that showing any type of agression that’s been accepted in the home to the outside world is a danger. From that, I don’t allow punching the bed, pillows, the walls, etc… It is one thing that’s viewed differently by others when it’s shown by a black male much like many other details.

I’d rather he understand that there may always be frustration in going to school, but he has to power thru and get his education.its a law and required.

OP if punching his bed - which is at home, and doesn't hurt anybody - helps him express his frustrations so he can power through, then isn't it better for him to do this? Walls are different. If your son doesn't learn how to get his emotions out in a safe way and express his frustrations verbally about school or whatever else, he won't have any coping mechanisms when adolescence hits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you PPs! I am cautious raising an AA son that showing any type of agression that’s been accepted in the home to the outside world is a danger. From that, I don’t allow punching the bed, pillows, the walls, etc… It is one thing that’s viewed differently by others when it’s shown by a black male much like many other details.

I’d rather he understand that there may always be frustration in going to school, but he has to power thru and get his education.its a law and required.

Stop telling him that's why he's in school. He's in school to learn, not because it's the law. I mean I know it's the truth but then it sounds like there's not benefits from it.

+1 and as the parent of a teen with a recent school avoidance problem, don't count on your school to apply the law. You'll be lucky if anyone emails or calls home. (Or assigns you a social worker, or sends the attendance officer to your house, or calls you into a meeting, or un-enrolls your kid... or any of the other procedures established by your school system.) Focus on the learning. And on being the person that he can talk with about his frustrations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just give him a steady stream of choices in the morning that all lead to a decision path to the bus or the car.

1. Do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed first?
2. Do you want to pack your schoolbag first or put on shoes first?
3. Do you want to go down and wait in the car or go down with me?

etc. don't stop to think. Just steady flow of action.

This works for toddlers, not tweens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just give him a steady stream of choices in the morning that all lead to a decision path to the bus or the car.

1. Do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed first?
2. Do you want to pack your schoolbag first or put on shoes first?
3. Do you want to go down and wait in the car or go down with me?

etc. don't stop to think. Just steady flow of action.

You definitely don't have teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a public school teacher. School is long and boring, especially for on task kids of average or above intelligence. We could cover the academic parts in probably two hours. Some kids like enrichment/extension activities to pass the time but other kids just view that is punishment.

It would be a lot better if we could shorten school and track kids, and not tolerate behaviors. But sped parents would freak out and we’d have to find a solution to the daycare piece.

Tracking kids is more effective, especially if class sizes for the bottom tier are smaller (so the teacher has more time per student to help those students catch up).

That said, most parents will not tolerate tracking before HS, because every parent wants their child in the top track and not all students are top.

Look at FCPS where AAP is considered the upper track in elementary and look at so many parents doing whatever it takes to get their kids into AAP. The results including watering down the AAP curriculum in at least a few instances and some kids struggling in other cases where it is not watered down. AAP curriculum is standardized in theory, but reality is that it will be implemented in various ways at various schools.

[Anonymous]

Get him a punching bag!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a public school teacher. School is long and boring, especially for on task kids of average or above intelligence. We could cover the academic parts in probably two hours. Some kids like enrichment/extension activities to pass the time but other kids just view that is punishment.

It would be a lot better if we could shorten school and track kids, and not tolerate behaviors. But sped parents would freak out and we’d have to find a solution to the daycare piece.

Tracking kids is more effective, especially if class sizes for the bottom tier are smaller (so the teacher has more time per student to help those students catch up).

That said, most parents will not tolerate tracking before HS, because every parent wants their child in the top track and not all students are top.

Look at FCPS where AAP is considered the upper track in elementary and look at so many parents doing whatever it takes to get their kids into AAP. The results including watering down the AAP curriculum in at least a few instances and some kids struggling in other cases where it is not watered down. AAP curriculum is standardized in theory, but reality is that it will be implemented in various ways at various schools.

Point is, even in AAP there is tons of wasted time. Arrival time, morning work, specials (“library” for 50 minutes!) , recess, lunch, extra time early finishers spend waiting for everyone else. School doesn’t need to be 7 hours long or anywhere close, at any academic level. And I think it’s all the “extra” stuff that may school resistant kids bristle at. I know for my non-school loving child it was. It’s just a construct society needs because parents work or it could be much much shorter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just give him a steady stream of choices in the morning that all lead to a decision path to the bus or the car.

1. Do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed first?
2. Do you want to pack your schoolbag first or put on shoes first?
3. Do you want to go down and wait in the car or go down with me?

etc. don't stop to think. Just steady flow of action.

You definitely don't have teens.

NP. What? Clearly the rules are different when you have teens. Young kids benefit from choice. This IS the Elementary School forum.

[Anonymous]

My 5th grade DD was the same way in 1st-4th. Unrelated to her morning emotions, we sent her to a different school for 5th grade. We’re not in the DMV but it’s a progressive single sex school. There’s minimal time wasted in transitions and pretty much no time spent on interruptions and discipline. We were surprised that they added more classes to her schedule compared to her intense traditional private that she used to go to. The lack of wasted time adds hours back into the week. She can get up and use the bathroom without a huge back and forth, and has free time to meet with teachers for extra help or read or play.

Something about the change in atmosphere completely changed the amount of autonomy she feels she has at school and the control she has over her day. She’s learning at a faster place, more relaxed after pickup, and calmer in general. She’s probably getting less sleep but wakes up more easily.

I know a total switch in environment isn’t easy but I remember even now the trapped feeling of a long tedious school day, so it’s not surprising kids would push back when they anticipate it.

[Anonymous]

The school year is too long now. A lot of kids still have weeks to go and we all know that school ends after the last end-of-year test, yet we adults carry on the facade that learning is still happening for almost a full month of word searches, movies meant forfor 4-year-olds not 10-year-olds (how insulting!), and funny hat days. I would rebel if I had to do this boring slog march to the end, too. I would know it's a waste of my time, even at age 10. I'd be unhappy, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The school year is too long now. A lot of kids still have weeks to go and we all know that school ends after the last end-of-year test, yet we adults carry on the facade that learning is still happening for almost a full month of word searches, movies meant forfor 4-year-olds not 10-year-olds (how insulting!), and funny hat days. I would rebel if I had to do this boring slog march to the end, too. I would know it's a waste of my time, even at age 10. I'd be unhappy, too.

This is why I'm pushing for our school district (Loudoun) to keep the school year as short as possible with as few holidays as possible ending as early after testing as possible. Then you have all the crazies on the other side claiming they want school to run year round.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just give him a steady stream of choices in the morning that all lead to a decision path to the bus or the car.

1. Do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed first?
2. Do you want to pack your schoolbag first or put on shoes first?
3. Do you want to go down and wait in the car or go down with me?

etc. don't stop to think. Just steady flow of action.

You definitely don't have teens.

NP. What? Clearly the rules are different when you have teens. Young kids benefit from choice. This IS the Elementary School forum.

If this works on your kid much past the age of 5, they aren't very bright. Those aren't choices.