Divorced people are technically not supposed to take communion in a Catholic church, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the many reasons I stopped believing. So someone who escapes an abusive husband can't ever get communion again? That doesn't seem very God like. I've found religious people to be the most intolerant and judgy people I've ever met.

I have some personal experience with this as my mom was divorced and my parents did not get married in a Catholic Church and she did not get an annulment. So growing up, yes, my parents used to sit in the pew while everyone else took Communion (my sister and I were OK to take Communion though)

At the time, I thought it was an incredibly ostracizing feeling — like we have this God of love and grace and yet my parents were excluded from what is clearly the most important part of the Mass on the basis of a bad decision a long time ago. This absolutely skewed my view of religion for a long time.

Now, as an adult, divorced myself, I can understand the theological reasons for the Catholic Church’s position. But I still think they are wrong on this.

The Bible is clear that we get Jesus’s perfect record before God through her faith in him — even when we are sin and do not deserve it. Romans 8:1 is clear that there IS no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. My non-denominational church would not preclude someone from taking communion just because they were divorced.

Which gets to my larger point — this isn’t a reason to stop believing. Does the Catholic Church’s position on this one single issue mean that Jesus didn’t rise from the dead? All of Christianity turns on THAT issue — not this issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the many reasons I stopped believing. So someone who escapes an abusive husband can't ever get communion again? That doesn't seem very God like. I've found religious people to be the most intolerant and judgy people I've ever met.

You stopped believing in God because PEOPLE can be a-holes. Huh.

People wreck everything. We're good at it. But your relationship with Jesus is between you and Him.

[Anonymous]

You can get divorced civilly and still receive communion - the church just doesn’t recognize the divorce. If you get married again (or, like, do marital activities) you can’t take communion.

So you can leave an abusive husband. You just have to be celibate afterwards forever then. Or until he dies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of the many reasons I stopped believing. So someone who escapes an abusive husband can't ever get communion again? That doesn't seem very God like. I've found religious people to be the most intolerant and judgy people I've ever met.

That's the kind of thing that keeps me from believing. It just makes no sense to me that this apparent loving God could be so harsh.

[Anonymous]

“Divorce” is a legal thing. Adultery is another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can get divorced civilly and still receive communion - the church just doesn’t recognize the divorce. If you get married again (or, like, do marital activities) you can’t take communion.

So you can leave an abusive husband. You just have to be celibate afterwards forever then. Or until he dies.

Or until you get an annulment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The better term is to “receive” communion. “Take” seems to be British/Anglican vocabulary, and is not ordinarily used in the Roman Church.

We receive in the Anglican Church. Please do not speak of things in which you are not informed.

This, and the difference matters.

I also think this is something between the believer and God as far as being eligible for communion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only ask because divorce is somewhat common and I literally never see any middle aged or older people at Mass but not taking communion. Do divorcees and people who remarry just ignore that?

I'm not Catholic so likely confused. If a person has gone to confession, are they not forgiven for the divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only ask because divorce is somewhat common and I literally never see any middle aged or older people at Mass but not taking communion. Do divorcees and people who remarry just ignore that?

I'm not Catholic so likely confused. If a person has gone to confession, are they not forgiven for the divorce?

The church just doesn’t recognize your divorce, they consider you still married. The problem occurs if you try to remarry without an anullment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve had an annulment in the Church, they can receive communion.

I had an older, very devout relative who went years without receiving communion because she had married a divorced man. A kind priest asked her about it and was able to help the couple to get an annulment of the first marriage. The husband had only been married for a few months as a 19/20 year old, no kids, so the annulment was actually very easy.

My relative simply didn’t know that this was a possibility. She was so happy that she could receive communion again after this very nice priest helped them.

So you really may not know the situations and backgrounds of the people you see receiving communion.

Are annulments really that common? I find it a little hard to believe all the divorcees who come to Mass got annulments. All the non-annulment divorcees just quit coming?

They are very common in heavily Catholic countries like the Philippines.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many reasons I stopped believing. So someone who escapes an abusive husband can't ever get communion again? That doesn't seem very God like. I've found religious people to be the most intolerant and judgy people I've ever met.

That's the kind of thing that keeps me from believing. It just makes no sense to me that this apparent loving God could be so harsh.

As I posted in another response - this should not keep you from believing. This is a man-made rule in one sect of Christianity. There is some theological underpinning for it, but it’s disputed and there are stronger arguments against it than in favor of it.

The central issue in Christianity is whether Jesus rose from the dead or not. That’s what you should focus on in terms of whether you believe. Not this issue. It’s like judging a baseball game by the number of hits or walks, not the number of runs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve had an annulment in the Church, they can receive communion.

I had an older, very devout relative who went years without receiving communion because she had married a divorced man. A kind priest asked her about it and was able to help the couple to get an annulment of the first marriage. The husband had only been married for a few months as a 19/20 year old, no kids, so the annulment was actually very easy.

My relative simply didn’t know that this was a possibility. She was so happy that she could receive communion again after this very nice priest helped them.

So you really may not know the situations and backgrounds of the people you see receiving communion.

Are annulments really that common? I find it a little hard to believe all the divorcees who come to Mass got annulments. All the non-annulment divorcees just quit coming?

They are very common in heavily Catholic countries like the Philippines.

Divorce is illegal in the Philippines.

[Anonymous]

i think a divorced person can receive Communion if they’ve gone to confession, it’s the remarrying or dating that’s the issue without an annulment. You can civilly divorced but the church has to annul your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps this is an don't ask don't tell situation, OP, in your particular church. I am sure all sorts of sinners get up to receive communion, just because they don't want to feel left out in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of the many reasons I stopped believing. So someone who escapes an abusive husband can't ever get communion again? That doesn't seem very God like. I've found religious people to be the most intolerant and judgy people I've ever met.

That's the kind of thing that keeps me from believing. It just makes no sense to me that this apparent loving God could be so harsh.

As I posted in another response - this should not keep you from believing. This is a man-made rule in one sect of Christianity. There is some theological underpinning for it, but it’s disputed and there are stronger arguments against it than in favor of it.

The central issue in Christianity is whether Jesus rose from the dead or not. That’s what you should focus on in terms of whether you believe. Not this issue. It’s like judging a baseball game by the number of hits or walks, not the number of runs.

The people who tell me about Jesus rising from the did seem to be argely liars and hypocrites, and Jesus never told me Himself, so, yeah, it's hard to have faith.