BTDT Parents: please recommend college app to-dos and timeline for a first-time app parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Since we came back from campus tours, I have been asking DC to start looking at prompt questions and what each college asks for. We also asked DC to contact graduates from our high school who attend these colleges (this was CC's suggestion). DC now suddenly seems uninterested in college apps, so DH and I find ourselves nagging a bit because we don't know what we're supposed to do from this point on to keep making progress. DC has done nothing since coming home from campus tours.

I would absolutely not be asking DC to contact grads from your high school who attend the colleges. Is there a particular purpose you have in mind with that? Unless there are very specific issues your DC needs answers on, I can see why a normal teen would not want to do this.

Right now, the most important thing for your junior to do is to finish out junior year strong, getting great grades and preparing for AP exams.

Some high schools have students ask for recommendations at the end of junior year. In summer, it will be time for essays and filling out the Common Application.

Your job is to figure out what schools will be affordable, if you have not already done so.

OP: thanks for your reply (and other PPs above. very helpful). What's the harm of contacting our HS alum currently at colleges DC is most interested in? CC suggested it so DC can ask how they like it, how the culture is different or similar to our HS. It's a small HS (100 kids a year) and a tight-knit community, plus CC makes it sound like a routine thing to do so I assume the alums themselves did the same when they were applying to college.

DC is not taking AP exams.

College affordability already sorted out.

Np: it seems weird and presumptuous to me, too, unless they’re already friends or have specific shared interests so niche-y that applying would hinge on finding out more. I guess my advice is apply broadly and get in touch once you get in.

The process is very anxiety provoking anyway and I think this would just make a kid more anxious. They have no idea where they’ll be admitted and it’s best not to get too attached to any school.

Why? Alums from the high school are more than happy to talk to kids and even give them a tour of the school when they visit.

My kid thought CMU would be tops for them, but met with HS alums who gave them some straight talk on the school and my kid just didn't even apply after the visit. We were all thankful this happened prior to applying and my kid's college list was better targeted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and your spouse don’t know what to do…but you have a cc you’ve met with, kid has met with, kid has sat done/courses picked/summer job/college list?

Mkay

Translation: we have done a tone of research about what is needed, we are doing ok and have lots of decisions and plans made. I am gonna act like I don’t know much so you all can tell me what I should know and do so I can capture anything else.

OP: what?? DC did SAT because literally every junior was doing SAT/ACT. Courses picked for next year because every junior needs to submit senior course selection for department approval. Summer job confirmed because this is the same job DC always had. The college list was suggested by school CC. Yes I am asking what else we should do to learn from those BTDT, sensing a tone that this is somehow wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Since we came back from campus tours, I have been asking DC to start looking at prompt questions and what each college asks for. We also asked DC to contact graduates from our high school who attend these colleges (this was CC's suggestion). DC now suddenly seems uninterested in college apps, so DH and I find ourselves nagging a bit because we don't know what we're supposed to do from this point on to keep making progress. DC has done nothing since coming home from campus tours.

I would absolutely not be asking DC to contact grads from your high school who attend the colleges. Is there a particular purpose you have in mind with that? Unless there are very specific issues your DC needs answers on, I can see why a normal teen would not want to do this.

Right now, the most important thing for your junior to do is to finish out junior year strong, getting great grades and preparing for AP exams.

Some high schools have students ask for recommendations at the end of junior year. In summer, it will be time for essays and filling out the Common Application.

Your job is to figure out what schools will be affordable, if you have not already done so.

OP: thanks for your reply (and other PPs above. very helpful). What's the harm of contacting our HS alum currently at colleges DC is most interested in? CC suggested it so DC can ask how they like it, how the culture is different or similar to our HS. It's a small HS (100 kids a year) and a tight-knit community, plus CC makes it sound like a routine thing to do so I assume the alums themselves did the same when they were applying to college.

DC is not taking AP exams.

College affordability already sorted out.

Np: it seems weird and presumptuous to me, too, unless they’re already friends or have specific shared interests so niche-y that applying would hinge on finding out more. I guess my advice is apply broadly and get in touch once you get in.

The process is very anxiety provoking anyway and I think this would just make a kid more anxious. They have no idea where they’ll be admitted and it’s best not to get too attached to any school.

Why? Alums from the high school are more than happy to talk to kids and even give them a tour of the school when they visit.

My kid thought CMU would be tops for them, but met with HS alums who gave them some straight talk on the school and my kid just didn't even apply after the visit. We were all thankful this happened prior to applying and my kid's college list was better targeted.

I don't get the hesitation either. I'd like to know if an alum from the same HS doesn't like their college before applying ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Since we came back from campus tours, I have been asking DC to start looking at prompt questions and what each college asks for. We also asked DC to contact graduates from our high school who attend these colleges (this was CC's suggestion). DC now suddenly seems uninterested in college apps, so DH and I find ourselves nagging a bit because we don't know what we're supposed to do from this point on to keep making progress. DC has done nothing since coming home from campus tours.

I would absolutely not be asking DC to contact grads from your high school who attend the colleges. Is there a particular purpose you have in mind with that? Unless there are very specific issues your DC needs answers on, I can see why a normal teen would not want to do this.

Right now, the most important thing for your junior to do is to finish out junior year strong, getting great grades and preparing for AP exams.

Some high schools have students ask for recommendations at the end of junior year. In summer, it will be time for essays and filling out the Common Application.

Your job is to figure out what schools will be affordable, if you have not already done so.

OP: thanks for your reply (and other PPs above. very helpful). What's the harm of contacting our HS alum currently at colleges DC is most interested in? CC suggested it so DC can ask how they like it, how the culture is different or similar to our HS. It's a small HS (100 kids a year) and a tight-knit community, plus CC makes it sound like a routine thing to do so I assume the alums themselves did the same when they were applying to college.

DC is not taking AP exams.

College affordability already sorted out.

We also have a junior and it's also our first rodeo. Our kid also attends a small HS. I agree with pp that many kids would not be comfortable with this at this stage in the process. You sound like you're in a great place right now, I would ease off a bit and just let your DC enjoy a month or two without having to plan for college. If they have a good list they don't need to continue researching now; even if they're debating where to ED, I'd give them a chance to just sit with the choices and not push them.

After a slew of college visits our kid is focused on finishing the year strong and then getting a chance to relax. The process is overwhelming and it's nice for them to get a break here and there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You and your spouse don’t know what to do…but you have a cc you’ve met with, kid has met with, kid has sat done/courses picked/summer job/college list?

Mkay

Translation: we have done a tone of research about what is needed, we are doing ok and have lots of decisions and plans made. I am gonna act like I don’t know much so you all can tell me what I should know and do so I can capture anything else.

OP: what?? DC did SAT because literally every junior was doing SAT/ACT. Courses picked for next year because every junior needs to submit senior course selection for department approval. Summer job confirmed because this is the same job DC always had. The college list was suggested by school CC. Yes I am asking what else we should do to learn from those BTDT, sensing a tone that this is somehow wrong?

+ parents met w/ college counselor
+ kid met with college counselor
+ have a rough college list
+ know who will ask to write letters of recommendation
+ DC worked on activity list
+ DC worked on award list
+ DC submitted both award and activity lists to college counselor to review
+ took campus tours
+ asked DC to start looking at prompt questions
+ asked DC to look into what each college asks for
+ asked DC to contact graduates from our high school who attend these colleges
+ parents are now nagging a bit because kid isn’t so into the process now

Yeah, this is what every junior is doing/has done and you know nothing about the process. Send HELP

[Anonymous]

^ + college finances already sorted out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're rookies at this.

Have met with college counselor at our school. Have toured colleges. So far everything has been very pleasant, fun even. These are what we have done so far:
- Met with college counselor; agreed with rough college list. We are happy with CC's recommendations and DC is very excited
- DC (separately from us) met with CC to discuss which teachers to approach for rec letters
- DC worked on activity and award list, which has been submitted to CC
- DC took the SAT and got a great score the 2nd time so that is done
- Summer job and senior year course load all finalized

So far, no drama. Since we came back from campus tours, I have been asking DC to start looking at prompt questions and what each college asks for. We also asked DC to contact graduates from our high school who attend these colleges (this was CC's suggestion). DC now suddenly seems uninterested in college apps, so DH and I find ourselves nagging a bit because we don't know what we're supposed to do from this point on to keep making progress. DC has done nothing since coming home from campus tours.

Is this too early to nag? Is there a cadence or timeline BTDT parents can recommend, e.g., meet every sunday to work on college essays or is that too frequent? What else do we as parents do now other than plan how to pay for college? Are there keys steps I am missing between now and Nov 1? Should we go back to tour shortlist of ED schools again?

DC is making good grades and working hard at ECs. We don't have a consultant. DH and I don't know what we're supposed to do.

work on essays as much as possible over the summer with the caveat that there are dates for release of current prompts and you don't want to work on old outdated prompts. start with CA essay then supplementals for each school

create a spreadsheet of colleges of interest with requirements and deadlines - i did this for my kids

if interested in ED, work on that decision for ED1 and ED2, such as revisists in early fall if needed

[Anonymous]

ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini it. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m assuming your kid is a junior?
If they are not currently overloaded with homework/beginning review for AP tests/studying for SAT, consider having an hour or 2/wk where you parallel work.

They research prompts & you do whatever (research financial aid, do actual work, whatever) side-by-side. It’s like a study session. Maybe go somewhere with Wi-Fi & order coffee or soda

I would wait until APs and finals are over at this point. Start up again in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to do anything right now—save your strength! Over the summer your child should work on his or her common app essay. This is the main essay that almost every college will see. Your child can also work on the activity list, deciding what order to put the activities and making the descriptions fit the character count. You don’t need a consultant, but I hired an essay coach, and I found that out as a way of keeping my child moving on the essay writing over the summer. If the kid completes that essay over the summer he’ll be in pretty good shape.

Colleges don’t release the prompts for supplementary essays until August, but your child can start generating material for likely types of essays they might need to write (ie, usually, there’s one about your “community”.)

I had high expectations for how much we get done over the summer, and my kid didn’t get that much done. But it was OK. He wrote a lot of essays over winter break for RD including an overhaul of the Common App essay and it worked out.

no don't write any essays without knowing the prompts!