Only Children - social club

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are raising an only child, or were raised as an only child, would you join a social club for "only" children?

The kids get to make friends with other only children (who share at least one thing in common with them). The parents (who were only children) get to advice other parents raising only children, and their kids (however many) get to socialize with the "only" children, thereby expanding their social circle (friend who are more like cousins?).

This would not replace their usual.social circles but would expand it. Regular meetups would center around outdoor nature-based activities (hikes, bike rides, picnics, festivals, etc).

Appreciate comments from folks who are in either category.

How old are the kids? I am not a parent of onlies, but, I do have a few good friends that have only children. All of them are fine socially. In fact, I'd say that in some aspects they were probably slightly more mature on average (these are girls). Very comfortable speaking to adults in social situations, for example. I don't think any of them needed a club, but, if it is mainly a network for parents, I can see the benefit of finding another family or two with onlies who would enjoy traveling or doing activities together. So I say go for it if your kids are early ES or younger. If they are older, I wouldn't bother, unless your kid really wants to do it for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Also no, my only is friends with other onlys, as well as with kids that have siblings. It would be really strange to single him out in that way.

[Anonymous]

To echo the other comments, no. As an only child and a parent of an only child.

I know one only kid who strongly self-identifies as an only child and it puts some weird strains on her relationship with my daughter. She's clearly looking for a surrogate sibling and mine isn't and that can be hard. I wouldn't encourage placing importance on being an only child.

[Anonymous]

A skill my only child developed early on was the ability to go up to a kid or group of kids in various settings and ask if they want to play. She has about a 90% success rate with this.

I recommend trying this.

I also am unclear on why parents who were only children would need as social club? I have siblings but they don't live near me and are not part of my social life. How is that any different from an adult only child? I can understand a support group for only children in specific situations (like caring for aging parents without siblings maybe? I don't know), but don't see why adult onlies would need help making friends. I have lots of friends who were only children.

[Anonymous]

No, mom of an only who is married to an only. My DD loves going to friends' houses with siblings because it is more chaotic and her friends love coming to our house because it is less chaotic. It's nice to see how other people live. I doubt with other only children it has ever come up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are raising an only child, or were raised as an only child, would you join a social club for "only" children?

The kids get to make friends with other only children (who share at least one thing in common with them). The parents (who were only children) get to advice other parents raising only children, and their kids (however many) get to socialize with the "only" children, thereby expanding their social circle (friend who are more like cousins?).

This would not replace their usual.social circles but would expand it. Regular meetups would center around outdoor nature-based activities (hikes, bike rides, picnics, festivals, etc).

Appreciate comments from folks who are in either category.

How old are the kids? I am not a parent of onlies, but, I do have a few good friends that have only children. All of them are fine socially. In fact, I'd say that in some aspects they were probably slightly more mature on average (these are girls). Very comfortable speaking to adults in social situations, for example. I don't think any of them needed a club, but, if it is mainly a network for parents, I can see the benefit of finding another family or two with onlies who would enjoy traveling or doing activities together. So I say go for it if your kids are early ES or younger. If they are older, I wouldn't bother, unless your kid really wants to do it for some reason.

I have an only and I do see some value in meeting other parents with singletons for things like babysitting coops. In general I don’t feel the need for much support, I find my life seems easy compared to my friends who have to juggle. I will say I don’t know many one and done families though.

[Anonymous]

I have an only. She has plenty of friends through school and activities and her various sports. Most only kids get plenty of socialization once they start daycare or preschool.

[Anonymous]

I am an only. No way would I have wanted that.

[Anonymous]

What does this mean? A meet up group? Sure, but that's more for the parents. A paid group that you organize? No, not paying for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A skill my only child developed early on was the ability to go up to a kid or group of kids in various settings and ask if they want to play. She has about a 90% success rate with this.

I recommend trying this.

I also am unclear on why parents who were only children would need as social club? I have siblings but they don't live near me and are not part of my social life. How is that any different from an adult only child? I can understand a support group for only children in specific situations (like caring for aging parents without siblings maybe? I don't know), but don't see why adult onlies would need help making friends. I have lots of friends who were only children.

Its probably more for the parents than kids but I'm assuming they are trying to make it a business.

[Anonymous]

I think people may be missing the point of OP's post. I think maybe she is looking for onlies with onlies who don't have a large extended family and thus may be looking for "chosen family."

[Anonymous]

You could put something out on a local Facebook group to find similar folks - I have seen people do this. I have an only and have met other parents with only's or ones that have kids with significant age gaps. But we have met organically via school and activities.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids but a large gap for my youngest. Youngest is almost like an only child. There are lots of only children in her school. I find that the parents of only children are often more flexible and accommodating whereas the ones with siblings may have more scheduling difficulties.

When my middle child was in elementary school, he had a bff who was an only. When I had the younger baby, the only family would pick him up and drive him home. Now I am the one who offers this to other families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people may be missing the point of OP's post. I think maybe she is looking for onlies with onlies who don't have a large extended family and thus may be looking for "chosen family."

That's still strange - my kid has two good friends. One comes from a 3 kid family, another has a much older sibling that he feels like an only. I'm close friends with both sets of parents.