APS : School Refusal Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Agreed that unfortunately you will need to get the mental health under control before you can focus on academics. BTDT. Have you spoken with the therapist about more intensive therapy options? I am sorry you are going through this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. We have been there too, not with APS, but were in another district. It’s emotional and draining when you have a teen going through this and you feel out of control.

I mean this kindly, what do you want from the school that they are not providing? Please think about that. We don’t know your kid and it’s hard to tell from a couple of posts. You have a teen going through a mental health crisis, refusing meds and is skipping school. That needs to be stabilized and dealt with before you can worry about any sort of academics.

Again, I was there a few years ago. It was awful. For us, lawyers and advocates were not the way to go. We actually had to pull our kid out and get health under control on our own before we could even think about classes. But it got pretty bad in our situation and everyone is different. We did private online school while we got health stabilized with doctors and therapists. Frankly, it was quicker and we had more control than trying to get homebound.

I don’t know your kid or what’s right for you and I wish you the best.

I have another opinion here. The school is required to give this kid what they need. I have a kid going through this in a neighboring district. Because the kid isn't getting what they need, I am paying myself for tutoring and support. It is ridiculous that I should have to withdraw my child because the county isn't providing what they are legally supposed to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. We have been there too, not with APS, but were in another district. It’s emotional and draining when you have a teen going through this and you feel out of control.

I mean this kindly, what do you want from the school that they are not providing? Please think about that. We don’t know your kid and it’s hard to tell from a couple of posts. You have a teen going through a mental health crisis, refusing meds and is skipping school. That needs to be stabilized and dealt with before you can worry about any sort of academics.

Again, I was there a few years ago. It was awful. For us, lawyers and advocates were not the way to go. We actually had to pull our kid out and get health under control on our own before we could even think about classes. But it got pretty bad in our situation and everyone is different. We did private online school while we got health stabilized with doctors and therapists. Frankly, it was quicker and we had more control than trying to get homebound.

I don’t know your kid or what’s right for you and I wish you the best.

I have another opinion here. The school is required to give this kid what they need. I have a kid going through this in a neighboring district. Because the kid isn't getting what they need, I am paying myself for tutoring and support. It is ridiculous that I should have to withdraw my child because the county isn't providing what they are legally supposed to.

I agree with you that the school should provide the kid with what they need. But they weren’t in my situation and I didn’t want to spend any more time fighting the school. We wasted so much time doing that. It gets to a point where all that time, energy and money can go into helping your kid.

Any “help” they gave my kid wasn’t really help because they had such a staff shortage or the hours were awful and not practical. I agree, what I’m suggesting isn’t right. But we had to do something immediate because my kid was getting nothing and had for too long while we went to endless meetings that ended up nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all. Yes we have had many meetings with the IEP team but the school refusal, including skipping class, is new and urgent but the mental health spikes are known and we went through this once last semester. The IEP team is great, but we have been disappointed with solutions before and don't want to make an error in not taking the strongest approach to a resolution that helps my kid without jeopardizing things with school.

Please get legal advice.

This town and lawyers. If the issue is NEW and urgent, give them a chance to offer solutions.

OP said she did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 9th grade student with an IEP for ADHD, Dyslexia, GAD is miserable at school. Poor social skills & no real friendships outside school. Possible ASD but not evaluated due to waitlists. Have psych, have meds (which are refused due to the appetite suppression and physical side effects) a great therapist and supportive IEP team.
I do not know what to do. Has anyone ever successfully gotten an APS school to offer part time schooling during periods of mental health crisis or offer to let a kid learn on self study but not online during a period of school? Am concerned that the kid will end up failing 9th grade at this point and the idea of repeating a grade will put DC off of school completely. Should I hire an educational lawyer to help advocate? Do I try with a counselor on the IEP team?

Yes, since the team is not offering an appropriate resolution, get a special ed lawyer stat. Work with a lawyer NOT an advocate and it's much better if they are very familiar with APS.

Where does OP say she has gone to APS to seek help or a resolution? Maybe she has. We need more info though. "Do I try with a counselor or the IEP team?" would seem to indicate no effort has been made to contact the school.

Ok, fair, I guess I assumed the school was no help since this kid has an IEP but she's posting for ideas and help on here.

That's a pretty stupid assumption.

It was accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry you are going through this. We have been there too, not with APS, but were in another district. It’s emotional and draining when you have a teen going through this and you feel out of control.

I mean this kindly, what do you want from the school that they are not providing? Please think about that. We don’t know your kid and it’s hard to tell from a couple of posts. You have a teen going through a mental health crisis, refusing meds and is skipping school. That needs to be stabilized and dealt with before you can worry about any sort of academics.

Again, I was there a few years ago. It was awful. For us, lawyers and advocates were not the way to go. We actually had to pull our kid out and get health under control on our own before we could even think about classes. But it got pretty bad in our situation and everyone is different. We did private online school while we got health stabilized with doctors and therapists. Frankly, it was quicker and we had more control than trying to get homebound.

I don’t know your kid or what’s right for you and I wish you the best.

I have another opinion here. The school is required to give this kid what they need. I have a kid going through this in a neighboring district. Because the kid isn't getting what they need, I am paying myself for tutoring and support. It is ridiculous that I should have to withdraw my child because the county isn't providing what they are legally supposed to.

I'm the PP who said hire a lawyer. A lawyer can advise the family on the school division's obligations and help them get what the kid is entitled to. Without that, schools often will not even offer what they are supposed to.

[Anonymous]

I have seen great results with the Center for Anxiety and Behavioral Change. It is in Rockville but, worth a call.

Does APS offer short-term H&H for anxiety? This is another avenue I have seen in extreme cases.

I am glad to hear you are at least waitlisted for ASD eval-that seems to be one common factor in many school refusal cases I have seen.

[Anonymous]

What about moving your kid to a school that specializes in kids with dyslexia? Sienna, Lab? Maybe then they won't be so miserable.

[Anonymous]

Where are you located? A school like Parkmont in DC might be a good fit, it is a small, alternative high school that works with kids with anxiety and school avoidance issues.

https://parkmont.org/whos-here/

[Anonymous]

A lot of kids (including mine) can't handle the environment of public schools in APS or elsewhere. The sensory overwhelm, lack of necessary supports, and social difficulties can lead to burnout and school refusal. Changing the educational environment can help a lot. This is why we homeschool and it has been wonderful for our child.

[Anonymous]

Have you looked into Langston High School Program at APS? They offer a smaller setting with more support. In my experience, no matter how great the IEP team is, they don’t offer ideas outside of their building. I would call them directly. Also, talk to the Parent Resource Center.