Families who moved from

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved from DC to Arlington when my oldest was in 3rd grade because their charter school was not great for upper grades and DH and I could have shorter commutes from Arlington.

I think that if you move by 5th or 6th grade your kid will be fine. In Arlington at least most of the middle schools do not feed into just one high school so that means everyone is looking to make some new friends in high school.

But if you wait until 5th or 6th grade to move it will be harder for you to connect with other parents. It may be hard for you to imagine now, but in a few more years the birthday parties will be drop off (and then there won't be big parties at all) and the kids will start arranging to hang out on their own, without you involved. If you move after that point it will be hard for you to get to know parents at your kids new school. That is not the end of the world but it is nice to have some parents to ask questions to or compare notes with. I loved living in DC with younger kids and have kept up with my mom friends there but part of me does wish we moved earlier because I think that then I would have a bigger group of mom friends with kids the same age as my oldest kid. So I would consider how much that matters to you (and if you are super outgoing or have a lot of time to volunteer in the schools you will likely have an easier time meeting people than I did).

Also, I feel like people in DC think the suburbs are some kind of hellscape where no one walks anywhere. But actually we drive less now that we live in Arlington because there are school buses (and late buses for kids who stay after school for activities). And our kids constantly walk places or metro. In fact, tonight our kids took the metro home from DC. Also, because I am less worried about safety I let my kids do things like go see a move and walk home at 11pm, which I would not have done in DC.

Good luck with your decision - Eaton and Horace Mann are great schools so I can see why this would be a tricky decision!

Thanks! I care a lot about building parent and neighbor friendships, so I appreciate this advice.

[Anonymous]

OP I think this depends a lot on where you live? It sounds like you are OOB for Mann and Eaton so the walkability benefit of DCPS may not be there for you. OTOH Deal and J-R are totally fine options and not so much worse than suburban schools that you would be forced to move.

I guess what I would say is that if you are already setting yourself up for a long commute to ES and have other reasons to move to the burbs (like a nicer house) then go ahead and do that now.

For reference - we stuck it out at our EOTP schools through MS very happily and now have to move for HS to Arlington. I always knew this might be a possibility but it sucks to face. A big part of me does wish we did it in ES just so my kid would not have to face such a big transition. OTOH I agree with posters that friend groups change and most of kid’s MS friends are scattering to different HSs anyway. I am hoping that since the APS HS is so big and draws from several MS kid will be able to find some friends.

I also agree about walkability - you can choose spots in the “suburbs” that are still walkable or even more dense than a lot of DC neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be fine either way. Friend groups change and people come and go from all schools. I do not think lifelong is a good goal to have. It sets the pressure way too high. People in small towns have that because they're stuck with each other and it's not necessarily a good thing.

+1

There's a weird obsession with lifelong friends on this forum, I'm not sure why. Elementary school is mostly about practicing social situations and friendships and learning how it works. Maybe you really click with someone and stay friends, but that's often more a function of having families who are friends than where you go to MS or HS.

In this area, even in the suburbs, it's really common for kids to move around a bit and there are always lots of "new to you" kids at the MS and HS levels. In DC people will move to charters or privates, in the suburbs they may attend a magnet or move to private school. In either case, families also just move altogether, both in and out of the region or within the region. Many kids also get their kids more from extra curriculars that aren't school based -- so many sports are now more club based, plus many kids are into things like dance or volunteer work that necessarily happens outside school. So your best friends might not even go to school with you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved from DC to Arlington when my oldest was in 3rd grade because their charter school was not great for upper grades and DH and I could have shorter commutes from Arlington.

I think that if you move by 5th or 6th grade your kid will be fine. In Arlington at least most of the middle schools do not feed into just one high school so that means everyone is looking to make some new friends in high school.

But if you wait until 5th or 6th grade to move it will be harder for you to connect with other parents. It may be hard for you to imagine now, but in a few more years the birthday parties will be drop off (and then there won't be big parties at all) and the kids will start arranging to hang out on their own, without you involved. If you move after that point it will be hard for you to get to know parents at your kids new school. That is not the end of the world but it is nice to have some parents to ask questions to or compare notes with. I loved living in DC with younger kids and have kept up with my mom friends there but part of me does wish we moved earlier because I think that then I would have a bigger group of mom friends with kids the same age as my oldest kid. So I would consider how much that matters to you (and if you are super outgoing or have a lot of time to volunteer in the schools you will likely have an easier time meeting people than I did).

Also, I feel like people in DC think the suburbs are some kind of hellscape where no one walks anywhere. But actually we drive less now that we live in Arlington because there are school buses (and late buses for kids who stay after school for activities). And our kids constantly walk places or metro. In fact, tonight our kids took the metro home from DC. Also, because I am less worried about safety I let my kids do things like go see a move and walk home at 11pm, which I would not have done in DC.

Good luck with your decision - Eaton and Horace Mann are great schools so I can see why this would be a tricky decision!

NP THANK YOU so much for this thoughtful reply.

[Anonymous]

How much patience do you have, OP? And how far do you lean left? Would you describe yourself as an exceptionally patient, ultra-liberal parent?

By 6th grade in DCPS for our eldest, with no viable charter option (we failed to lottery into a Latin, BASIS or DCI), I realized that I didn't have the patience or politics to stay in the system, at least not for Deal. Equity doesn't inspire me. MS academic tracking across subjects for a lazy bright kid does.

We moved to Arlington, where much less patience is required of parents in public schools and those who don't lean left are more welcome.

The primary issue is fit, parent fit. Does your disposition, and political orientation, indicate that you belong in DCPS or DCPCS or doesn't it?