Teacher get well gift contribution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't contribute. Being out for several weeks after surgery makes it likely teacher never comes back this school year. You are going to end up resentful your child is going to be taught by a long term sub or a series of substitutes.

My kid had a teacher who was out on medical leave. I don’t know anyone who was resentful towards the teacher for this. Our class gave a get well soon gift. As the room parent, I didn’t suggest a specific amount for the get well soon gift. I do provide a specific suggestion for the class donation to be able to budget appropriately for class parties and teacher gifts. Families contributed anywhere from $20 to $50 each to the get well soon gift. Notably every family donated. I get well soon gifts for anyone I know who is in a similar situation. They don’t have the time or ability to cook for themselves or do other tasks of daily living.

OP - $25 is a good amount

This is gross and you should stop. Parties *maybe* though this should not require a “budget” higher than $5/$10 per student. Teacher gifts should be voluntary and you should not be “suggesting” anything— you send one message in December and one on May and what parents choose to donate is the budget.

It’s the common practice at my kids’ schools. I choose to collect once per year. Parents are told they can donate less or more. Many including myself donate more. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t want to give a teacher gift.

Because they’re hardly going to tell you if their family finances don’t support it, if parents are skipping a meal or putting off a bill to avoid embarrassment. They’re entitled to privacy. This practice is truly gross, and should be stopped, especially with the number of people going without pay this year.

Agree. I'm sick and tired of giving gifts to various teachers/coworkers/coaches you name it. I have to forgo 3 months without a hair appointment for myself; no restaurants for my family only to give gifts to those people. Of course, nobody will admit that they are sick of the gifting or that they cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

In 2025 a class parent in Fairfax solicited teacher holiday gifts on the first school week of November to “make sure everyone has time to contribute!”

More than half of the class had parents who were not getting paid due to the shutdown— OBVIOUSLY class parent did not. I have never seen a more brutal group text. The worst part was, the anger spread as far as the teacher with people saying she should refuse any gifts.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, most teachers find the excessive gift giving awkward too—but how do you say that without sounding rude? “Thank you but please don’t do this again.”

Teaching is our job. We aren’t volunteers.

[Anonymous]

A card and at most $5. If even half the class donates $5 that’s a lovely bouquet of flowers delivered. Nothing more is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

I’m a teacher and I dislike gifts from my students/families, even money. It is like you are tipping me for a service like a waiter, uber driver, etc. I just want to be treated respectfully and professionally, that is all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and I dislike gifts from my students/families, even money. It is like you are tipping me for a service like a waiter, uber driver, etc. I just want to be treated respectfully and professionally, that is all.

You should tell your room parent this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, most teachers find the excessive gift giving awkward too—but how do you say that without sounding rude? “Thank you but please don’t do this again.”

Teaching is our job. We aren’t volunteers.

How do you say it? At the beginning of the school year say to the room parent “Mary, thanks for everything, please do not solicit any money for gifts for me this year. With the federal RIF/uneployment/price of gas/mercury in retrograde I want to be sensitive to the students households”

Very easy to say. Very unusual to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't contribute. Being out for several weeks after surgery makes it likely teacher never comes back this school year. You are going to end up resentful your child is going to be taught by a long term sub or a series of substitutes.

My kid had a teacher who was out on medical leave. I don’t know anyone who was resentful towards the teacher for this. Our class gave a get well soon gift. As the room parent, I didn’t suggest a specific amount for the get well soon gift. I do provide a specific suggestion for the class donation to be able to budget appropriately for class parties and teacher gifts. Families contributed anywhere from $20 to $50 each to the get well soon gift. Notably every family donated. I get well soon gifts for anyone I know who is in a similar situation. They don’t have the time or ability to cook for themselves or do other tasks of daily living.

OP - $25 is a good amount

You just don't know that many other parents well enough for them to tell you that there is resentment when a teacher is out "for weeks". It isn't' personal against the teacher, it is the situation because so many times kids learn very little when there is a sub covering for weeks.

It is ridiculous to collect 20 to 50 dollars a student for a get well gift. For a class of 24 that is $480 to $1200. That is a lot of cash that is floating around for a gift to be sent to a parent's personal Venmo. Probably (hopefully) most parents are honest, but no way 100% of room parents are resisting the temptation to not skim a hundred bucks or so off a one time donation of $1200 that no one else knows specifically how much was collected. You also have no idea of the financial situation a teacher is in. Plenty are struggling but others have family money or married well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't contribute. Being out for several weeks after surgery makes it likely teacher never comes back this school year. You are going to end up resentful your child is going to be taught by a long term sub or a series of substitutes.

My kid had a teacher who was out on medical leave. I don’t know anyone who was resentful towards the teacher for this. Our class gave a get well soon gift. As the room parent, I didn’t suggest a specific amount for the get well soon gift. I do provide a specific suggestion for the class donation to be able to budget appropriately for class parties and teacher gifts. Families contributed anywhere from $20 to $50 each to the get well soon gift. Notably every family donated. I get well soon gifts for anyone I know who is in a similar situation. They don’t have the time or ability to cook for themselves or do other tasks of daily living.

OP - $25 is a good amount

You just don't know that many other parents well enough for them to tell you that there is resentment when a teacher is out "for weeks". It isn't' personal against the teacher, it is the situation because so many times kids learn very little when there is a sub covering for weeks.

It is ridiculous to collect 20 to 50 dollars a student for a get well gift. For a class of 24 that is $480 to $1200. That is a lot of cash that is floating around for a gift to be sent to a parent's personal Venmo. Probably (hopefully) most parents are honest, but no way 100% of room parents are resisting the temptation to not skim a hundred bucks or so off a one time donation of $1200 that no one else knows specifically how much was collected. You also have no idea of the financial situation a teacher is in. Plenty are struggling but others have family money or married well.

Parents chose to give what they wanted. This is a UMC school with a tight knit community. Room parents don’t work alone. We keep records. We report out to parents how much the class gifts are. Room parents usually spend more of their own money. Maybe it’s because of how I grew up and where I live, but it’s hard for me to believe that someone would be tempted to take gift money away from their child’s teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't contribute. Being out for several weeks after surgery makes it likely teacher never comes back this school year. You are going to end up resentful your child is going to be taught by a long term sub or a series of substitutes.

My kid had a teacher who was out on medical leave. I don’t know anyone who was resentful towards the teacher for this. Our class gave a get well soon gift. As the room parent, I didn’t suggest a specific amount for the get well soon gift. I do provide a specific suggestion for the class donation to be able to budget appropriately for class parties and teacher gifts. Families contributed anywhere from $20 to $50 each to the get well soon gift. Notably every family donated. I get well soon gifts for anyone I know who is in a similar situation. They don’t have the time or ability to cook for themselves or do other tasks of daily living.

OP - $25 is a good amount

You just don't know that many other parents well enough for them to tell you that there is resentment when a teacher is out "for weeks". It isn't' personal against the teacher, it is the situation because so many times kids learn very little when there is a sub covering for weeks.

It is ridiculous to collect 20 to 50 dollars a student for a get well gift. For a class of 24 that is $480 to $1200. That is a lot of cash that is floating around for a gift to be sent to a parent's personal Venmo. Probably (hopefully) most parents are honest, but no way 100% of room parents are resisting the temptation to not skim a hundred bucks or so off a one time donation of $1200 that no one else knows specifically how much was collected. You also have no idea of the financial situation a teacher is in. Plenty are struggling but others have family money or married well.

Parents chose to give what they wanted. This is a UMC school with a tight knit community. Room parents don’t work alone. We keep records. We report out to parents how much the class gifts are. Room parents usually spend more of their own money. Maybe it’s because of how I grew up and where I live, but it’s hard for me to believe that someone would be tempted to take gift money away from their child’s teacher.

Which is exactly why people will not tell you if it’s a financial burden. To my knowledge, there is not a single school in FCPS that doesn’t have a FARMS program. Which means at least one student is eligible for free meals. But that parent who can’t feed their kids still has to pony up the same $50 to avoid you knowing their financial situation. It’s gross, it’s intrusive, and it should stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, most teachers find the excessive gift giving awkward too—but how do you say that without sounding rude? “Thank you but please don’t do this again.”

Teaching is our job. We aren’t volunteers.

How do you say it? At the beginning of the school year say to the room parent “Mary, thanks for everything, please do not solicit any money for gifts for me this year. With the federal RIF/uneployment/price of gas/mercury in retrograde I want to be sensitive to the students households”

Very easy to say. Very unusual to say.

What you shared is perfect. The room parent should get it. The parents too.

[Anonymous]

Room parent here in Howard County. Parents clamor to donate and gift our teachers.

Those who can and want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Room parent here in Howard County. Parents clamor to donate and gift our teachers.

Those who can and want to do.

That should be individual between the parents and the teacher. You should not solicit money for public employees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, most teachers find the excessive gift giving awkward too—but how do you say that without sounding rude? “Thank you but please don’t do this again.”

Teaching is our job. We aren’t volunteers.

How do you say it? At the beginning of the school year say to the room parent “Mary, thanks for everything, please do not solicit any money for gifts for me this year. With the federal RIF/uneployment/price of gas/mercury in retrograde I want to be sensitive to the students households”

Very easy to say. Very unusual to say.

What you shared is perfect. The room parent should get it. The parents too.

There is no teacher I know who doesn’t have email addresses for their whole class and couldn’t send out such a message. The fact that so few do is because they like the extra money and the ability to “blame” the class parent and not look like they’re requiring a bribe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Room parent here in Howard County. Parents clamor to donate and gift our teachers.

Those who can and want to do.

Average FARMS rate in Howard county is 22.5%. You have no idea whether someone you’re soliciting money from is going without a meal to avoid you knowing their business.