Diagnose me DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to figure out what psychological trauma I have so I can figure out how to treat myself.

Quick recap:

The last 6 years of my life have been particularly painful:

- infidelity by spouse fused in with psychological abuse from his family and himself
- rampant alcoholism from spouse
- financial instability and going bankrupt due to alcoholic spouse who ruined his life and mine
- major medical trauma endured where I almost died twice
- Covid and death of family members due to COVID
- death of parent
- family stranded in a currently war torn country
- divorce and stetting up a new apartment


I lately find I’m struggling with the following:

- motivation and goals. I don’t have any motivation to do anything
- I’m tired all the time. I want to sleep but when I’m in bed I can’t sleep very well
- brain fog. I can’t focus on work or even writing a simple email. I zone out in meetings.
- I sit and zone out a lot. I get up in the morning and sit there staring off into space for 30 mins before moving.
- constant intrusive thoughts. Thinking about worst case scenario hitting as I’m sitting here at lunch
- hyper vigilance

NP

To me, it sounds like
Complex PTSD
Depression
Anxiety


I am sorry to hear of the pain and disruption caused by your former spouse and his/ her family.

Someone close to me had complex PTSD, depression and anxiety.

If medicine and therapy does not help, you may want to explore TMS ( transcranial magnetic stimulation). It is mostly used for depression and anxiety but also for CPTD. It involves daily half hour treatment for 2-3 months but has good results for a majority of people who have depression and anxiety that is medication and therapy resistant.

Good luck OP - be kind to yourself on your journey back to wholeness.

[Anonymous]

Delayed grief pls see a grief therapist
Read: The body knows the score
I’m so sorry you are holding it all in—breathe wirk : yoga too to “be”
You are locked in my dear

[Anonymous]

CPTSD here and there was a stretch of about a year and a half where it really knocked me down. I was able to reconnect with a therapist I had before, which you should do. But here's some tips.

between depression and anxiety I couldn't think. I even quit driving because I didn't feel safe behind the wheel--not destructive, just that I couldn't count on my brain to pay attention. I lost a ton of weight because I couldn't focus long enough to make a meal. Basically I'd slap some peanut butter on bread and eat carrot sticks. Couldn't sleep either, although a previous bout of extremely severe depression had me sleeping 16+ hours a day.

There was a huge pile of things to take care of. My therapist told me to deal with one thing at a time with a hard time limit of 15 minutes--regardless of whether I finished or not. And then to stop, and congratulate myself for having done that.

She also said to have something easy to memorize--a kid's son, a poem, just a phrase, didn't matter, to keep repeating to myself whenever the anxiety got the best of me.

For severe depression, research has found that small intellectual tasks can be helpful, because people find they are competent and it wakes the brain up to solve small problems. Think crosswords or sudoku.

Also small tasks like brushing teeth, taking a shower. Exercise definitely--when I have been depressed, walking improves my mind.

When I am anxious, it gives me a task to do.

When I first heard of eye movement therapy for trauma I was immdiately skeptical. Have never had it but it does have support these days from the American Psychological Assoc as a second line treatment (CBT is first line).

Al Anon is helpful for some people, I did not find it to be for me and I had no interest in getting help from a higher power of any kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s called being alive. Life ain’t a Hallmark movie.

No. This is not a suck it up situation. OP would benefit from professional help.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you just need a vacation. Don't you have plans for Spring Break? We are going to an all inclusive in the Bahamas.

[Anonymous]

The second part about sleep and all is menopause.
The first part is shitty life. Happens to many of us. You are taking it harder than many. I would not have added COVID or partner's death to my struggles, but you did. They are just part of life.
That abuse you went through, didn't have to be part of your life. Glad you are getting out.

[Anonymous]

Peri-menopause plus low iron, low vitamin D, and lack of sleep.

Take multi vitamin, eat food with high iron, make sure to cook with Iodized salt! Take warm/hot bath with Epsom salt before bed to relax.

[Anonymous]

I think you need a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to figure out what psychological trauma I have so I can figure out how to treat myself.

Quick recap:

The last 6 years of my life have been particularly painful:

- infidelity by spouse fused in with psychological abuse from his family and himself
- rampant alcoholism from spouse
- financial instability and going bankrupt due to alcoholic spouse who ruined his life and mine
- major medical trauma endured where I almost died twice
- Covid and death of family members due to COVID
- death of parent
- family stranded in a currently war torn country
- divorce and stetting up a new apartment


I lately find I’m struggling with the following:

- motivation and goals. I don’t have any motivation to do anything
- I’m tired all the time. I want to sleep but when I’m in bed I can’t sleep very well
- brain fog. I can’t focus on work or even writing a simple email. I zone out in meetings.
- I sit and zone out a lot. I get up in the morning and sit there staring off into space for 30 mins before moving.
- constant intrusive thoughts. Thinking about worst case scenario hitting as I’m sitting here at lunch
- hyper vigilance

You have causes and symptoms of both ptsd and cptsd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s called being alive. Life ain’t a Hallmark movie.

Is this my alcoholic mother reaching out from hell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to figure out what psychological trauma I have so I can figure out how to treat myself.

Quick recap:

The last 6 years of my life have been particularly painful:

- infidelity by spouse fused in with psychological abuse from his family and himself
cptsd
- rampant alcoholism from spouse
cptsd
- financial instability and going bankrupt due to alcoholic spouse who ruined his life and mine
cptsd
- major medical trauma endured where I almost died twice
ptsd
- Covid and death of family members due to COVID
complicated grief/ptsd
- death of parent
complicated grief/ptsd
- family stranded in a currently war torn country
ptsd
- divorce and stetting up a new apartment
emerging from suffering and encountering change and safety feels threatening and scary after years of pain. This is where you build your new, healthy, healed life.


I lately find I’m struggling with the following:

- motivation and goals. I don’t have any motivation to do anything
- I’m tired all the time. I want to sleep but when I’m in bed I can’t sleep very well
- brain fog. I can’t focus on work or even writing a simple email. I zone out in meetings.
- I sit and zone out a lot. I get up in the morning and sit there staring off into space for 30 mins before moving.
- constant intrusive thoughts. Thinking about worst case scenario hitting as I’m sitting here at lunch
- hyper vigilance

[Anonymous]

Another vote for trying Al-Anon. Where there is one alcoholic, there are several family members and friends who are affected by their behavior. Al-Anon teaches you to put the focus back on you, not the alcoholic. And to take it one day at a time. Because when you are this depressed, that's all you really can do (sometimes one hour or one minute at a time). Try a meeting. And cut yourself some slack. You've been through a lot! xoxo