Visiting friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they ask if they can come I expect them to buy groceries and clean toilet when they leave.

Groceries for themselves or for the family?

Do you give them a list?

I’m envisioning Jan texting a long list of groceries for her family of 4 along with directions to the nearest grocery store. (Note: Larla is gluten free and we don’t allow sugar in our home!)

Do you tell them about scrubbing the toilet before or after they arrive?

Can you tell me how old you are and what county/city you live in? Genuinely curious because I’m in my early 50s and from an affluent part of the DC metro area, and I think this attitude is bananas. I mean, hosting a guest simply doesn’t involve a list of demands. Quite the opposite.

Themselves. No children

The guests are gluten free. We are not.

We’re all 60ish.
This is our retirement home in Florida.

I’m not demanding they do anything.
This is common courtesy IMO.
They asked if they could visit.

Eh, I guess…

Personally, I actually host people when they stay with me. I always have eggs, fruit, coffee, etc. on hand, and any gluten free person could find something for breakfast in my house. Ditto for ingredients for a salad, nuts, proteins, etc.

I always ask if there’s anything special they will need so I can get it ahead of time.

My guests typically treat us to a meal (usually a restaurant) and send flowers delivered the day of their arrival or departure. They always clean up after themselves, but nobody is scrubbing toilets, stripping beds, or doing laundry for us before they leave. The bathroom is clean, towels are in the hamper or hung up, bed is made, etc. It’s my job as the host to launder the towels and bedding after they leave. This isn’t a big deal.

This is how I feel too. Our friends and family are welcome to visit longer than 3 days. I always ask ahead if there are any special things they need and I handle all of the clean up after they leave. Our friends and family always offer to help, always take us out for at least one meal, and leave no messes for us.

If it’s someone I’m not comfortable having for a week I say we can only host for a certain amount of days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When they ask if they can come I expect them to buy groceries and clean toilet when they leave.

Groceries for themselves or for the family?

Do you give them a list?

I’m envisioning Jan texting a long list of groceries for her family of 4 along with directions to the nearest grocery store. (Note: Larla is gluten free and we don’t allow sugar in our home!)

Do you tell them about scrubbing the toilet before or after they arrive?

Can you tell me how old you are and what county/city you live in? Genuinely curious because I’m in my early 50s and from an affluent part of the DC metro area, and I think this attitude is bananas. I mean, hosting a guest simply doesn’t involve a list of demands. Quite the opposite.

Themselves. No children

The guests are gluten free. We are not.

We’re all 60ish.
This is our retirement home in Florida.

I’m not demanding they do anything.
This is common courtesy IMO.
They asked if they could visit.

Eh, I guess…

Personally, I actually host people when they stay with me. I always have eggs, fruit, coffee, etc. on hand, and any gluten free person could find something for breakfast in my house. Ditto for ingredients for a salad, nuts, proteins, etc.

I always ask if there’s anything special they will need so I can get it ahead of time.

My guests typically treat us to a meal (usually a restaurant) and send flowers delivered the day of their arrival or departure. They always clean up after themselves, but nobody is scrubbing toilets, stripping beds, or doing laundry for us before they leave. The bathroom is clean, towels are in the hamper or hung up, bed is made, etc. It’s my job as the host to launder the towels and bedding after they leave. This isn’t a big deal.

This is how I feel too. Our friends and family are welcome to visit longer than 3 days. I always ask ahead if there are any special things they need and I handle all of the clean up after they leave. Our friends and family always offer to help, always take us out for at least one meal, and leave no messes for us.

If it’s someone I’m not comfortable having for a week I say we can only host for a certain amount of days.

.

Unless it’s my own kids, I’m not hosting anyone for more than three days. My husband just retired two weeks ago and it’s kind d of a job to host. He needs to chill for a bit.

[Anonymous]

As a houseguest I would automatically strip my bed as I believe that is just a given.

But I wouldn’t think my host would actually expect me to scour ➕ disinfect the toilet prior to departing!

[Anonymous]

Well, you obviously suck as a host - you get the kind of guests you deserve. Like attracts like.

[Anonymous]

Clean toilet = Hosts provide a freshly cleaned toilet. Guests don’t leave skid marks or splashes under the seat when they depart. That is common courtesy. People usually have cleaning spray under the bathroom sink, and in a pinch guests can use tp to wipe the underside of the seat.

Clean sink = don’t leave toothpaste in the sink or on the counter.

Towels = stack them reasonably neatly in a pile on the floor or draped over the edge of the tub.

Bedroom = collect any garbage and throw it in a garbage. Don’t leave any dirty cups or dishes. Ask your host if they want you to strip the bed (I always say no but some people say yes.)

[Anonymous]

I want no guests ever and that should not be taboo. I was reading a book recently about Carole Lombard, who was a warm and wonderful person who lived at a gorgeous ranch estate. She never ever had overnight guests. That was a rule. It should be normalized.

I also don't want to stay with people and sometimes will not go on a trip because someone is insisting we stay with them. I'd rather not go than be an overnight guest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a PSA - stay only 3 days max. Anything longer is disruptive in the lives of your friends.
You could be a wonderful guest but ppl need their space and their lives back. Get groceries, clean your room and bathroom when you leave, make meals and or clean up.
Stop hogging the hot water w long showers and stop w the weird food requests. At least, bring your own weird food.
And, if you are visiting your friends at their vacation home but wouldn’t consider visiting them at their permanent home, you’re suspect.
That is all.

I hate when people come with full groceries and cook - one family doesn't make food for us so we cannot get into the kitchen to cook till they are done then I have to clean up from them first. (yes, I learned to cook for everyone before they do including waking up earlier than them for breakfast) I wish they'd stop inviting themselves. They've never invited us to their home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a PSA - stay only 3 days max. Anything longer is disruptive in the lives of your friends.
You could be a wonderful guest but ppl need their space and their lives back. Get groceries, clean your room and bathroom when you leave, make meals and or clean up.
Stop hogging the hot water w long showers and stop w the weird food requests. At least, bring your own weird food.
And, if you are visiting your friends at their vacation home but wouldn’t consider visiting them at their permanent home, you’re suspect.
That is all.

Perhaps hosting isn’t for you, OP

[Anonymous]

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

--Benjamin Franklin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a PSA - stay only 3 days max. Anything longer is disruptive in the lives of your friends.
You could be a wonderful guest but ppl need their space and their lives back. Get groceries, clean your room and bathroom when you leave, make meals and or clean up.
Stop hogging the hot water w long showers and stop w the weird food requests. At least, bring your own weird food.
And, if you are visiting your friends at their vacation home but wouldn’t consider visiting them at their permanent home, you’re suspect.
That is all.

All righty, then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a PSA - stay only 3 days max. Anything longer is disruptive in the lives of your friends.
You could be a wonderful guest but ppl need their space and their lives back. Get groceries, clean your room and bathroom when you leave, make meals and or clean up.
Stop hogging the hot water w long showers and stop w the weird food requests. At least, bring your own weird food.
And, if you are visiting your friends at their vacation home but wouldn’t consider visiting them at their permanent home, you’re suspect.
That is all.

Or, come to our home instead, where we will welcome you, talk with you, explore with you, laugh with you and treat you like family. Our doors are always open for as long as you wish to stay

[Anonymous]

This is why hotels exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am having a guest for a week in a pretty small house and he’s been great so far! Groceries are mostly on him, took us out too, doesn’t hog the bathroom, makes his own simple meals. Thanks for posting, I’ll be even more appreciative now!

I have never ever had a guest buy their own groceries or make their own meals!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a PSA - stay only 3 days max. Anything longer is disruptive in the lives of your friends.
You could be a wonderful guest but ppl need their space and their lives back. Get groceries, clean your room and bathroom when you leave, make meals and or clean up.
Stop hogging the hot water w long showers and stop w the weird food requests. At least, bring your own weird food.
And, if you are visiting your friends at their vacation home but wouldn’t consider visiting them at their permanent home, you’re suspect.
That is all.

I hate when people come with full groceries and cook - one family doesn't make food for us so we cannot get into the kitchen to cook till they are done then I have to clean up from them first. (yes, I learned to cook for everyone before they do including waking up earlier than them for breakfast) I wish they'd stop inviting themselves. They've never invited us to their home.

Say no.

[Anonymous]

OP….don't host then.