Is it just me or is everyone having 3 kids?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think with it being more socially acceptable to have a baby at 40+, a lot of couples are going for a 3rd at an older age. Whereas even 10 years ago that would have been considered quite unusual. I know couples who had a 2nd baby at 40/41 10-12 years ago, where the first baby was born when mom was 38/39, but it seemed like you always stopped at 2 if that was the case.

Interestingly, the couples I know with 3 or even 4 kids generally have two working parents as opposed to a SAHP, and they also have lots of local family help. My SAHM friends all stopped at 2!

Agree with all of this. I have also noticed that sometimes parents with two kids are having the 4th in their early 30s after seeing friends have a first or second at that age. I think sometimes it's literally just baby fever caused by seeing friends with infants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear a few years ago two seemed like the “standard,” and now I keep seeing baby #3 announcements everywhere. Is this actually a trend, or am I just at the age where everyone’s hitting that stage at the same time?

heck no, 2 and done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear a few years ago two seemed like the “standard,” and now I keep seeing baby #3 announcements everywhere. Is this actually a trend, or am I just at the age where everyone’s hitting that stage at the same time?

Yes, this is definitely the case for our social circle as well - 3 and even 4 are getting more common. Most started in mid-30s so kids are close in age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:its popular with female doctors, 3rd one cost me so much of my health...

Same. 4 years of losses and fertility treatments. I'm 1 year into Ozempic and reclaiming my life and have probably another year to go.

[Anonymous]

3 is the UMC flex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have friends with everything from 1-5 kids.

I feel like growing up as a family of four, we weren't that rare in the 90s and birth rate stats back up my anecdote that only children are more common and 4 kids like my family are much rarer.

And huge contrast from my parents. My mom and Dad both come from very large families (over 7 kids) and in the 50s, particularly in Catholic circles, that wasn't terribly rare.

I grew up in a suburb of Seattle before Microsoft and Amazon got big. I knew 0 families with 4 kids. I knew 3 families with 3. Huge community too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think having only two kids of the same gender is becoming less common. It's either boy-girl sib set or three plus, and yeah, probably because it's more acceptable now to have a baby at 40+.

More babies are born to women over 40 than women under 20 in the US now.

[Anonymous]

I think so many millennials were disappointed with their small families of origin. My parents only had 1 and dhs only had 2. Our parents came from large families and we had dozens of cousins, but our kids won’t ever have any cousins.

We had 3 because it gives us that big family feeling but is still low enough that we can spend a lot of time with each.

[Anonymous]

Data is your friend.

In the US, the average number of children per family is less than 2, and is continuing to decline.

You're noticing the larger families more, OP et al, because your mind is used to seeing small families!

What others point out, IVF use in wealthy families, is true - but it's nowhere near enough to reverse the overall trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think so many millennials were disappointed with their small families of origin. My parents only had 1 and dhs only had 2. Our parents came from large families and we had dozens of cousins, but our kids won’t ever have any cousins.

We had 3 because it gives us that big family feeling but is still low enough that we can spend a lot of time with each.

I'm a millennial from a large family and I'm the opposite. No way I'd have 4 kids like my parents did.

Millennials are definitely having fewer kids than our parents. The stats are pretty clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd say maybe 15% of my friends (older Millenial) have 3 or more kids. Most are very religious.

What's crazy is that's my estimate before Googling anything. I changed it from 10 to 15%. Turns out the number IS 15%.

I'm a rare person that has 3 kids, but my first wasn't the "plan" so I started at least 6 years earlier than friends. My 3rd was a battle. Fertility goes quick, sadly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think so many millennials were disappointed with their small families of origin. My parents only had 1 and dhs only had 2. Our parents came from large families and we had dozens of cousins, but our kids won’t ever have any cousins.

We had 3 because it gives us that big family feeling but is still low enough that we can spend a lot of time with each.

My brother and I were 15 years apart so it was almost like we weren't raised together. I was sad to see friends with a close sibling and we didn't have that. Both my brother and I had 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I feel like I’m hearing more 3rd kids. And actually seeing 1 or 3 kid families instead of 2.

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of my family and friends have 1-2 (if they have kids at all). My childhood best friend does have 4, but not planned (the planned 3rd ended up twins). On the flip side, my college best friend was one and done. In our school community, in my friend groups, amongst all my cousins, 3 is very, very rare. It’s more common to not have kids at all in my circles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:its popular with female doctors, 3rd one cost me so much of my health...

All the female docs I know have 0-1 kids. But they are in academia so maybe it’s different!