HHI of private school parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was $5.5 mm, but that was our highest ever. DC in high school now. When DC was in K, HHI was more like $1.8 mm.

Question for you: have behaviors / culture of student body changed as parent income has accelerated?

Kids are in lower school right now but curious on whether there's materialism / lifestyle inflation that becomes further pronounced in later years. Obviously this differs by school / class composition but curious to get your personal viewpoint!

For some kids, yes. They start to do more expensive hobbies/trips, carry expensive bags, wear labels, etc. And there definitely seem to be some cliques based on money, though not universally across the grade. But as far as I can tell, no one is ridiculed, made fun of, or otherwise singled out for lack of wealth, at least according to my DC. And the richest families are often hosting events and whatnot for friend groups, which is nice of them.

Thanks. We are lower school parents so appreciate you sharing your viewpoint. We are also trying to fly beneath the radar at our school and raise our child in a healthy way. Both of us work unassuming jobs, don't live in a fancy place, don't go to Vail, and dress pretty simply (our kid wears a lot of Target). But HHI is multiple 7 figures (small business, hence why you can't just guess it). We feel very fortunate. Funnily enough it has been interesting to see some degree of self sorting amongst the parents, somewhat based on outward facing income/jobs (e.g. the banking MDs pretty quickly gravitate to the law firm partner couples, and some moms seem very tuned to reading the micro signals of status).

We grew up in NYC and interestingly enough have found that other longtime NYC resident parents are a lot more chill about this kind of status symbol BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Last year was $5.5 mm, but that was our highest ever. DC in high school now. When DC was in K, HHI was more like $1.8 mm.

Question for you: have behaviors / culture of student body changed as parent income has accelerated?

Kids are in lower school right now but curious on whether there's materialism / lifestyle inflation that becomes further pronounced in later years. Obviously this differs by school / class composition but curious to get your personal viewpoint!

For some kids, yes. They start to do more expensive hobbies/trips, carry expensive bags, wear labels, etc. And there definitely seem to be some cliques based on money, though not universally across the grade. But as far as I can tell, no one is ridiculed, made fun of, or otherwise singled out for lack of wealth, at least according to my DC. And the richest families are often hosting events and whatnot for friend groups, which is nice of them.

Thanks. We are lower school parents so appreciate you sharing your viewpoint. We are also trying to fly beneath the radar at our school and raise our child in a healthy way. Both of us work unassuming jobs, don't live in a fancy place, don't go to Vail, and dress pretty simply (our kid wears a lot of Target). But HHI is multiple 7 figures (small business, hence why you can't just guess it). We feel very fortunate. Funnily enough it has been interesting to see some degree of self sorting amongst the parents, somewhat based on outward facing income/jobs (e.g. the banking MDs pretty quickly gravitate to the law firm partner couples, and some moms seem very tuned to reading the micro signals of status).

We grew up in NYC and interestingly enough have found that other longtime NYC resident parents are a lot more chill about this kind of status symbol BS.

“seem very tuned to reading the micro signals of status“
what does this mean?

[Anonymous]

My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are lots of great neighborhood public elementary schools. There are obviously also lots of great public high schools but the are culturally very different than a private HS. A top public elementary is not as dramatically different from a private.

It is not about academics, but behavior and manners. You can identify a public school kid based on how they behave.

Not as much anymore. Lots of kids at top public elementary schools blend seamlessly with private school kids, and many go on to private for middle school and/or high school and adjust very easily. At our public elementary there were a few families that had very significant money. One of those families had a child who was a total punk - money does not give class.

For private, the child has to pass playgroup assessments and most families have been training their child since 2. When attend extracurricular activities, there is no learning going on by how disruptive the environment is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

Small biz parent here again. i didn't mean to convey any one should feel guilty for being able to read the micro signals! to maybe be clearer: it's been interesting observing the parents who clearly can quickly read it and gravitate towards similar parents. I attended an HYPS back in the day and it reminds me of how early on campus there were kids that quickly figured out the social stratification game and dedicated time to belong to the "right" groups. Now it's repeated in parent circles and I am starting to understand how the kids might learn this stuff from the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are lots of great neighborhood public elementary schools. There are obviously also lots of great public high schools but the are culturally very different than a private HS. A top public elementary is not as dramatically different from a private.

It is not about academics, but behavior and manners. You can identify a public school kid based on how they behave.

Not as much anymore. Lots of kids at top public elementary schools blend seamlessly with private school kids, and many go on to private for middle school and/or high school and adjust very easily. At our public elementary there were a few families that had very significant money. One of those families had a child who was a total punk - money does not give class.

For private, the child has to pass playgroup assessments and most families have been training their child since 2. When attend extracurricular activities, there is no learning going on by how disruptive the environment is.

The previous poster said “lots” - plenty of parents (like me) raise their public school kids with excellent manners too, but also with the resilience to deal with distracting classmates and learn anyway.

Given how many public school kids join TT private schools as ringers in 9th grade, surely you’d have to admit that they’re managing to learn good behavior and academic excellence somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are lots of great neighborhood public elementary schools. There are obviously also lots of great public high schools but the are culturally very different than a private HS. A top public elementary is not as dramatically different from a private.

It is not about academics, but behavior and manners. You can identify a public school kid based on how they behave.

Not as much anymore. Lots of kids at top public elementary schools blend seamlessly with private school kids, and many go on to private for middle school and/or high school and adjust very easily. At our public elementary there were a few families that had very significant money. One of those families had a child who was a total punk - money does not give class.

For private, the child has to pass playgroup assessments and most families have been training their child since 2. When attend extracurricular activities, there is no learning going on by how disruptive the environment is.

The previous poster said “lots” - plenty of parents (like me) raise their public school kids with excellent manners too, but also with the resilience to deal with distracting classmates and learn anyway.

Given how many public school kids join TT private schools as ringers in 9th grade, surely you’d have to admit that they’re managing to learn good behavior and academic excellence somehow.

That used to be the way with the G&T program. It isn’t guaranteed to stay that way in the near future. Every new mayor brings more uncertainty to the public school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are lots of great neighborhood public elementary schools. There are obviously also lots of great public high schools but the are culturally very different than a private HS. A top public elementary is not as dramatically different from a private.

It is not about academics, but behavior and manners. You can identify a public school kid based on how they behave.

Not as much anymore. Lots of kids at top public elementary schools blend seamlessly with private school kids, and many go on to private for middle school and/or high school and adjust very easily. At our public elementary there were a few families that had very significant money. One of those families had a child who was a total punk - money does not give class.

For private, the child has to pass playgroup assessments and most families have been training their child since 2. When attend extracurricular activities, there is no learning going on by how disruptive the environment is.

The previous poster said “lots” - plenty of parents (like me) raise their public school kids with excellent manners too, but also with the resilience to deal with distracting classmates and learn anyway.

Given how many public school kids join TT private schools as ringers in 9th grade, surely you’d have to admit that they’re managing to learn good behavior and academic excellence somehow.

That used to be the way with the G&T program. It isn’t guaranteed to stay that way in the near future. Every new mayor brings more uncertainty to the public school system.

The kids are still out there, they’re just diffused among more schools; they weren’t learning good behavior from their schools, the schools were just letting them be somewhere with a higher density of kids like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

Wow this can’t be the norm. This has to be the upper crust of preschools, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

Wow this can’t be the norm. This has to be the upper crust of preschools, right?

Yes this is absolutely not what most classes at a top private are like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are lots of great neighborhood public elementary schools. There are obviously also lots of great public high schools but the are culturally very different than a private HS. A top public elementary is not as dramatically different from a private.

It is not about academics, but behavior and manners. You can identify a public school kid based on how they behave.

Not as much anymore. Lots of kids at top public elementary schools blend seamlessly with private school kids, and many go on to private for middle school and/or high school and adjust very easily. At our public elementary there were a few families that had very significant money. One of those families had a child who was a total punk - money does not give class.

For private, the child has to pass playgroup assessments and most families have been training their child since 2. When attend extracurricular activities, there is no learning going on by how disruptive the environment is.

Wow. You sound like a self-impressed, tone deaf private school parent. My kids have been in a top gen ed public and a top private so I think I am better able to compare than you who clearly live in what you think is an elitist little bubble. My children and many of their friends transitioned seamlessly from public to private.

My children do lots of activities (mainly sports) with a mix of public and private school kids. They are usually hard to differentiate and it is impossible to make generalizations. In 1st or 2nd grade my son was on a rec his soccer team and halfway through the season the mom came to a game with a ridiculously expensive handbag and we looked up their address and it was a $15+MM apartment on the Park. The kid (who went to a TT private school) was completely unable to socialize with the rest of the kids (a mix of public and private kids) - something was very off about him. At another 4th or 5th grade sports activity the boys from a well-known school (they were adorned head to toe in school gear) were being obnoxious and disruptive and couldn't stop poking each other and not listening - the coach was constantly stopping the lessons to get them to behave and they basically laughed at him. Public school kids were well-behaved (as were some of the other private school kids) and doing what they were supposed to. Of course, the public school kids had a parent there while the bratty private school kids had been dropped off my a parent or often their weekend nanny (who was often very attractive and probably being banged by the dad, but I digress).

And there have been plenty of poorly behaved public school kids and well-behaved private school kids who do meet traditional stereotypes. To make ridiculous generalizations like yours just advertises your ignorance.

[Anonymous]

$6m.

We are at the end of this process (my younger child graduates in June). We have no regrets about choosing private education and could easily afford it. However, tuition across the board has pretty much doubled since my older child started pre-K in 2008. We're zoned for PS9, and given the current costs and knowing what I know now, I would seriously consider sending them to public school for the elementary years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

Wow this can’t be the norm. This has to be the upper crust of preschools, right?

Yes this is absolutely not what most classes at a top private are like.

Agreed. This was not our experience in preschool or at a TT co-ed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in preschool, K next year, and we are around $5mil per year and honestly almost everyone in the class seems much wealthier than us. A lot of it is generational. Out of a class of 15, there’s a couple of billionaires, some generational wealth with famous grandparents, some a mix of family money and working hard, a show biz family, and a couple of hedge fund/big law/trader types who are all clearly successful based on the $10mil apartments. Most of the families have at least one parent who grew up in the city.

A lot of the dads are much older which impacts wealth versus us in our late 30s who are newer to making this kind of money. For the most part, everyone is awesome and down to earth though?

I don’t care about the status stuff, I’m not a designer clothes kind of mom, places like St Barts seem terrible to me, but I guess that I’m guilty of being attuned to the micro symbols of status since I definitely pick up on this stuff?

Wow this can’t be the norm. This has to be the upper crust of preschools, right?

Yes this is absolutely not what most classes at a top private are like.

Agreed. This was not our experience in preschool or at a TT co-ed.

Same here at a TT all girls. A "couple" billionaires in a class of 15 reads like satire.

[Anonymous]

What the heck do you people do for a living? LOL.