Why is it easy in Europe to leave a relation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a social safety net, we don't. It is very expensive to split up in this country.

+1
This makes all the difference.
You don't need someone else or an employer to have health care.
There are better options for child care and schooling.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a social safety net, we don't. It is very expensive to split up in this country.

+1
This makes all the difference.
You don't need someone else or an employer to have health care.
There are better options for child care and schooling.

+2

Agree. For all this “freedom” talk, the inability to get medical care keeps all Americans enslaved by our employers. By design, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They have a social safety net, we don't. It is very expensive to split up in this country.

+1
This makes all the difference.
You don't need someone else or an employer to have health care.
There are better options for child care and schooling.

+2

Agree. For all this “freedom” talk, the inability to get medical care keeps all Americans enslaved by our employers. By design, of course.

And spouses too, meant to say.

[Anonymous]

I'm French.

Daycares are subsidized and operate on a sliding scale, but it can be challenging to get your kid into one, given logistics of work schedules. My single-mother cousin needed her parents to take care of her baby while she waited for a daycare spot close to either her parents' house or her workplace, so she could make drop-off and pick-up, because her parents couldn't do those. So it takes some finagling... but once you're in, daycares do not break the bank at all.

There is generous parental leave.

And health care costs are very low compared to here. My father was recently hospitalized for several weeks. Serious chronic diseases are 100% covered by insurance, so he doesn't need to pay for his medical treatments or pharmaceutical costs related to his disease, but he does need to pay the room and board fees at the hospital: 3000 euros for 3 WEEKs of hospital. I think here it would be 3000 dollars for a single day, no?

I know two college friends of mine who divorced soon after getting married. One had a kid. The number of paid days off compared to here do help parents figure out single parenting. Young kids often get sick, and here it can be a problem when you run out of leave, but in France that's not a problem. You have enough paid sick leave and vacation days to not worry about that.

OP, a word of advice: do not assume "Europe" is a monolithic block. Not all European countries are the same regarding daycare subsidies, parental leave and PTO. I've heard Germans have a problem with daycare costs and availability.

[Anonymous]

Norway and Finland cap daycare costs at like $200/a month and there aren't huge waiting lists to get in, etc.

[Anonymous]

From the perspective of a 55+ woman who divorced at 45 who earns about $175K-- We spent thousands a month on daycare so that I could keep working from birth to FT preschool. In Europe, I would have had longer leave and it would have been paid leave. Once in daycare, it would have cost much less out of our pockets. All that money spent on daycare and then saving for college $$$ was not put into our retirement accounts. It's unheard of in most of Europe to need $300K to send your kid to a residential 4-yr college. Mostly, the students attend college in their local area and continue living at home with zero stigma of that being a loser thing to do. And tuition is usually 1/10th of USA tuition. In the USA, most professionals have to save for their own retirement, with a measley 5% match to your 401K if you're lucky. In other countries, there are real old-school pensions that far exceed what we will get from Social Security. So, you don't have to worry about getting access to the higher earner's pension to survive old age without being a pauper. In most major cities in Europe, home ownership isn't as big of a deal as it is here so all of the money we spend to live in a SFH vs. a condo/apartment to raise a family isn't necessary.

In the USA, you're only able to easily divorce and maintain a comfortable standard of living as a woman if you're earning about the same as your husband and can easily maintain your lifestyle on your own, or if you were a SAHM married to a VERY high earner who can afford to maintain his lifestyle AND pay for yours as alimony. And neither of those are common situations.