3rd grade DD very embarrassed about doing valentines

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:10 years ago, my DD,only 7 and in 2nd grade, suprised me by making her own valentines cards from scratch, remembered all the names and everything, unprompted. Her teacher and the kids were very impressed.

This just reminded me of that and just something bitter sweet I wanted to share, she’s graduating soon. Maybe, making homemade cards would give her a sense of pride.

Oh your child was "only" 7 in 2nd grade? She must have been very advanced.

She is having a memory and sad given her DD is graduation soon. Give her a break. And I took it to mean that at only 7 she was in charge and wanted to do something that she thought of and carried it out. Not that she was only 7 in second grade. You people just look for ways to trash talk people. Look in the mirror.

Why is she oversharing that memory in this thread? It has nothing to do with the OP. Oh, your kid doesn't want to bring Valentines at all? Well a decade ago my precocious child hand made all her valentines, what an amazing child!

Like, wtf?

[Anonymous]

Let her be the odd man out. It is fine to march to the beat of your own drum and go against the grain.

[Anonymous]

Tell her it’s required by the school and get some cheap valentines from CVS with a piece of candy each that she can fill out.


Most kids are going to be giving them out like you are thinking. Try to emphasize her classmates will appreciate the candy they get which she will appreciate in return.

[Anonymous]

My second grader just takes a bag of candy. Writes his name on the from line. A lot of other kids do similar.

[Anonymous]

Don’t force it, or just give her a bag of candy. I remember feeling uncomfortable giving them out in 3rd grade, so uncomfortable I altered one of the messages and made it sound rude to a kid who I didn’t like. (Think, changing “let’s be friends” to “let’s not be friends.”) Why I didn’t just skip that kid or not write names on the cards is beyond my comprehension. Of course, I got in trouble when the kid rightfully told on me. Fortunately I turned out more or less normal, but third grade is kinda awkward.

All of this is to say is, I wouldn’t force it. Let me be your cautionary tale!

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could tell her to look at it aa a class assignment. She has to prepare them and take them in, but she doesn’t have to deliver them.

If she sees that everyone else has done them and changes her mind, they’ll be available, but if she still doesn’t want to pass them out, nobody will know about them. Doing them keeps her options open, but she still has the option to decide against them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her it’s required by the school and get some cheap valentines from CVS with a piece of candy each that she can fill out.


Most kids are going to be giving them out like you are thinking. Try to emphasize her classmates will appreciate the candy they get which she will appreciate in return.

Do you always lie to your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her it’s required by the school and get some cheap valentines from CVS with a piece of candy each that she can fill out.


Most kids are going to be giving them out like you are thinking. Try to emphasize her classmates will appreciate the candy they get which she will appreciate in return.

Do you always lie to your kid?

About nonsense like this? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I took a flier and got stuff for her to do candy valentines (like you write the names on the candy packaging) and asked her if she wanted to do it tonight after dinner, and she was immediately excited and already finished them. I have no idea why she freaked out about it over the weekend and was so adamant that she not do them. Maybe she heard kids talking about it at school and that made it okay? I don't know. Kids!

[Anonymous]

In 4th grade my DD made lovely homemade cards for all the girls in her class. She did the CVS ones for all the boys. That made me laugh but she was adamant.

OP, have your DD give everyone a lollipop or mini candy bar. Tell her it’s a social ritual and it’ll guarantee that everyone in her class gets at least one thing that day. I wonder if there’s some kid she likes so she’s embarrassed, or if there’s a kid who’s bullying her and she’s embarrassed, or what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t force it, or just give her a bag of candy. I remember feeling uncomfortable giving them out in 3rd grade, so uncomfortable I altered one of the messages and made it sound rude to a kid who I didn’t like. (Think, changing “let’s be friends” to “let’s not be friends.”) Why I didn’t just skip that kid or not write names on the cards is beyond my comprehension. Of course, I got in trouble when the kid rightfully told on me. Fortunately I turned out more or less normal, but third grade is kinda awkward.

All of this is to say is, I wouldn’t force it. Let me be your cautionary tale!

I’m a PP and I’m laughing hysterically at this! It’s like those Sweethearts with the sarcastic messages. So funny!

[Anonymous]

A boy in my kids class took a photocopy of his butt which was shaped like a heart and signed them for everyone.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a time to talk about social convention. He's in elementary school, it's Valentine's Day, and the class is exchanging cards or candy or trinkets or whatever. No need to overthink this or work hard at it - just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would send something like the erasers in her backpack just in case she changes her mind. I would also email the teacher to let her know. My guess is that some kids might be teasing each other about who likes who and are they giving them a valentine. The teacher can keep an eye out and can also remind the class that it’s just for fun and not romantic at their age.

-former third grade teacher

Great advice!