Can they tell?

[Anonymous]

It's totally normal. Of course you want their suffering to end. It's not an easy process.

I've heard so many stories of people slipping away when left alone for just a few minutes. Some people need privacy and solitude to truly let go, and that's okay. If they are miserable in that in-between state, offering them a little more privacy might be exactly what they need and what they would ask for if they could.

[Anonymous]

in my mom's last hours, I told her it was okay to go, that we were all okay, she did a great job, etc. I think she waited until she saw my son. Then it was just me with her and I sat next to her for a couple hours. I got up at one point to change music and open the window and that's when she passed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:in my mom's last hours, I told her it was okay to go, that we were all okay, she did a great job, etc. I think she waited until she saw my son. Then it was just me with her and I sat next to her for a couple hours. I got up at one point to change music and open the window and that's when she passed.

How did that actually happen? Did their breathing get slower, did they seem to be sleeping -- what?

[Anonymous]

It varies, but yes. Some people just get slower and slower and then eventually there is an exhale and no inhale after. Of course, it can be way worse than that.

[Anonymous]

How did that actually happen? Did their breathing get slower, did they seem to be sleeping -- what?

she had labored, but regular, breathing for many hours, and was on morphine and ativan and probably not very conscious. She had been unresponsive for at least 24 hours, mouth open, eyes partly open but unfocused.

It was a little disconcerting, but hospice assured me it was not 'gasping for air' struggle type of breathing, although it did seem to me like her body was trying to get air because it wasn't the slow breathing that I had read about (fewer and fewer breaths per minute) that she was experiencing the day before. Then, suddenly it slowed and quieted, for like 15 seconds, then a sharp gasp and then stopped, then another gasp, then stopped for good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

How did that actually happen? Did their breathing get slower, did they seem to be sleeping -- what?

she had labored, but regular, breathing for many hours, and was on morphine and ativan and probably not very conscious. She had been unresponsive for at least 24 hours, mouth open, eyes partly open but unfocused.

It was a little disconcerting, but hospice assured me it was not 'gasping for air' struggle type of breathing, although it did seem to me like her body was trying to get air because it wasn't the slow breathing that I had read about (fewer and fewer breaths per minute) that she was experiencing the day before. Then, suddenly it slowed and quieted, for like 15 seconds, then a sharp gasp and then stopped, then another gasp, then stopped for good.

OK, so there were drugs involved. Thanks for the explanation. I'm wondering how it happens without drugs.