High maintenance or low self esteem?

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes it's just cultural. Did her mom take the same care with appearance? Was she raised going to the salon frequently, getting nails done frequently, etc.? Is she from a family where people dress up regularly for church and family functions, and the women take care with clothes, makeup, and hair?

I think this is really the biggest factor. Women tend to just follow what their moms/sisters/aunts/women in their community did. It's not that deep.

[Anonymous]

My friend won't leave the house without a full face of makeup and a blow out. Her mom used to tell her to always look her best in case she met her future husband.

She's 50 and single so I guess she is following her mom's advice still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many have never dealt with damage from their childhoods, pressure to be beautiful, perfect, pretty.

What is this?

When I spend 5 minutes putting on eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip balm, and running a Dyson Airwrap through my hair a couple times, the world treats me dramatically differently. Working world, neighborhood world, kids school world -- people are more open with me and invite me in to all sorts of situations.

When I don't do these things, people don't engage as much.

I honestly haven’t found that 5 minutes of makeup changes how the world engages with me. (I’m makeup neutral so I don’t have strong opinions either way besides do what you want with your own face.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many have never dealt with damage from their childhoods, pressure to be beautiful, perfect, pretty.

What is this?

When I spend 5 minutes putting on eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip balm, and running a Dyson Airwrap through my hair a couple times, the world treats me dramatically differently. Working world, neighborhood world, kids school world -- people are more open with me and invite me in to all sorts of situations.

When I don't do these things, people don't engage as much.

I honestly haven’t found that 5 minutes of makeup changes how the world engages with me. (I’m makeup neutral so I don’t have strong opinions either way besides do what you want with your own face.)

This. Five minute makeup isn't a thing for me. Nor is running the Airwrap through my hair a couple times.

You're either getting me bare-faced with a ponytail in athleisure (gym, running errands, etc.) or a full face of makeup with a blowout in a great outfit. Not sure what that says about me.

I think I do enough high maintenance things throughout the week (great skincare/haircare, exercise, eating healthy) that I can get away with being low maintenance day to day.

[Anonymous]

Beauty and grooming is extremely important especially for women.

Beautiful women don’t need to do grooming, but if you’re fat or ugly it makes a big difference.

People who pretend this doesn’t matter are either genetically blessed or clueless.

[Anonymous]

I think "hyper-focused" is the key word here. It's a bit unhealthy and it's pretty obvious when a woman is insecure about her looks to this extent. It's something I notice and show compassion and empathy as a woman myself. But this doesn't happen often as many women I'm around are very comfortable in their skin - with or without makeup.

It's ok to care about your appearance, put on make up, and use the air wrap, get facials, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women who are hyper focused on their looks, are they self centered or just trying to hide their low self esteem?

Or they just want to look great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many have never dealt with damage from their childhoods, pressure to be beautiful, perfect, pretty.

What is this?

When I spend 5 minutes putting on eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip balm, and running a Dyson Airwrap through my hair a couple times, the world treats me dramatically differently. Working world, neighborhood world, kids school world -- people are more open with me and invite me in to all sorts of situations.

When I don't do these things, people don't engage as much.

I spend 30 minutes on my make up. It's my thing. The great part is that I look great without make up too, but I like a finished face when I leave the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many have never dealt with damage from their childhoods, pressure to be beautiful, perfect, pretty.

What is this?

When I spend 5 minutes putting on eyeliner, mascara, blush and lip balm, and running a Dyson Airwrap through my hair a couple times, the world treats me dramatically differently. Working world, neighborhood world, kids school world -- people are more open with me and invite me in to all sorts of situations.

When I don't do these things, people don't engage as much.

I spend 30 minutes on my make up. It's my thing. The great part is that I look great without make up too, but I like a finished face when I leave the house.

Is that jus makeup or hair/dressing too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who this type of question? Bored or woman hater?

... or just curious and interested in human behavior.

[Anonymous]

Taking care of yourself and being hyper focused on looks are two different categories.

[Anonymous]

What do you consider high maintenance?

[Anonymous]

I always wear mascara. My mom was very focused on her appearance so I do feel it’s normal to do a little bit. But I’m more of the 5-10 minute grooming routine because honestly who has time? My skin is ok so mascara, eyebrows and hair take up the 10 minutes (mostly hair). Before I started dyeing my hair it was fine natural texture but no longer.

[Anonymous]

How do you know when someone is hyper focused? Do you mean women who look a specific way with plastic surgery, extensions, certain way of dressing, luxury goods...? Because in reality women who look all sorts of ways think about how they look.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is hyper focusing to put in some effort to look like a better version of yourself, and now that they're making tinted versions of SPF, blush, and lip color it's also skincare.

Also for better or worse, I have found that the world treats me exceptionally well when I put in effort which can be helpful when things go awry, such as at the airport. It's not that the world isn't normally nice, but it's wonderfully helpful when I look better than I do when I'm just lounging happily at home.