What would you expect from a sitter in this instance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Babysitter's job is to watch the kids, make sure nothing happens. Sounds like she wants a nanny lol.

+1. PITA weirdo. Don't bail them out again. Tell your friends too. It was a "watching the kids" job, not a "let's play like toddlers do" baby sitting or nanny assignment.

[Anonymous]

My guess is the kids think they are too old for a sitter, so complained/embellished the facts (she ignored us the whole time! It’s like she wasn’t even here blah blah) thinking that would prevent the mom from hiring sitters.

The mom is rude (particularly after telling your DD upfront that they would probably just chill in their rooms)

I hired a sitter at those ages when we’d be out later in the evening- my expectations? Just keep an eye on things- make sure the kids don’t do anything crazy and the house is in one piece. The kids didn’t need “care” really. Just someone older in the house just in case.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing is I've been babysitting since I was a tween. Since when do kids that age need activities. They said the only reason they had a babysitter was to keep them from eyeballs. She did that.

A 15 year old trying to engage kids a few years younger in activities would just get eyerolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighbors needed a last minute sitter for two hours on a district-wide half-day, and our 15.5yo was asked and agreed. The kids in question are tweens and needed a sitter because they don’t get along, but teen was told they would likely hide up in their rooms.

Teen went, said they got along, didn’t really bother her, and of story. Or so we thought. Neighbor contacted me to tell me that our teen didn’t talk or do anything with the kids while she was there. I was sort of caught off guard in that moment, wondering, what did you expect from her? I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t answer just let her talk, but now I’m wondering, do parents expect activity coordinators nowadays? When I was a teen and babysat, the kids played and I supervised, marveled at whatever they showed me, offered snacks, cleaned up behind them, and went home. Just curious!

I didn't sit for tweens and my DD has not either. But I would expect the parents would offer direction for this as for everything else. Here, it sounds like the parents did offer direction, your kid followed it, and the parent complained anyways. It's also really weird that the parent complained to you rather than addressing it with the sitter directly. She could have told your daughter next time she sits that she wants her to get the tweens out of their rooms and suggest some activities to do with them. Once we had a sitter who brought over an ipad and gave it to my kid. I addressed that with her and it ended.

FWIW, my DD DOES interact with the kids she sits - playing games with them, etc. not just watching them play themselves. But they are younger than tweens.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should hope this neighbor brings it up again, so you can say, "sounds like it's not a good match. Better that is doesn't happen again."

[Anonymous]

This is the babysitter I'd be. Need a competent adult to be in the house? I'm a competent adult. I promise nothing more. Go out and enjoy a date night

[Anonymous]

I agree with everyone else. Your daughter was fine, the neighbor was out of line.

[Anonymous]

How much was your DD paid?

Back in the day, when we were paid like $5 an hour, I think it’s fine for the sitter to be pretty hands off.

But I’ve noticed most sitters want in the $20-25 an hour range, and if I’m shelling out that much, I do expect more than just sitting around.

[Anonymous]

I would have ended that call with "I don't think this is a great match, and I hope that you can find someone who meets your needs" F her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much was your DD paid?

Back in the day, when we were paid like $5 an hour, I think it’s fine for the sitter to be pretty hands off.

But I’ve noticed most sitters want in the $20-25 an hour range, and if I’m shelling out that much, I do expect more than just sitting around.

Speak for yourself! I babysat back in 1996-1999 and never walked away with less than $50 for an evening (3-4 hours) of babysitting. And I got pizza. And the kids usually just went to bed.

[Anonymous]

Neighbor out of line. I don’t even think it’s unreasonable to specifically ask the sitter “can you play a board game with them” or something. But she did not communicate expectations or instructions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your neighbor may find that complaining about last minute sitters makes it hard to find last minute sitters.

EXACTLY.

Also, she said they'd hide in their rooms, so if that's what they did, then what was your 15 year old supposed to do, haul them out, down the stairs and "make them have fun together (whereupon the fighting would have happened?)

i mean, i might have said, hey, guys, do you want to play a game or are you good doing whatever you are doing? But I'm an old lady, not a 15 year old. At 15 I'd have left them to it, they are TEENS not 5 year olds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have ended that call with "I don't think this is a great match, and I hope that you can find someone who meets your needs" F her.

yes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much was your DD paid?

Back in the day, when we were paid like $5 an hour, I think it’s fine for the sitter to be pretty hands off.

But I’ve noticed most sitters want in the $20-25 an hour range, and if I’m shelling out that much, I do expect more than just sitting around.

Speak for yourself! I babysat back in 1996-1999 and never walked away with less than $50 for an evening (3-4 hours) of babysitting. And I got pizza. And the kids usually just went to bed.

Back in my day, I was paid $1 per hour (late 70s). I was given a raise by one mother after a few years to $2 per hour. For infants through 5 years old, I always played with the baby or kids, fed them, supervised baths, took them outside, walks, etc. If they were school-age, I'd play a game with them, go outside with them in the yard, feed dinner, then supervise bedtime routines. This was a given. I wouldn't have sat in the livingroom and ignored the children. i did this all while I was 13 to 17 years old. When I was in college I charged more money, but I also babysat a heck of a lot less because I was so busy. So the amount of $ had nothing to do with it - $1 meant a lot more back in the day. Things are more expensive now, so pay is higher. Also, I think MOST of you want older babysitters than teens, so of course you have to pay them more.

BUT I wasn't 'babysitting' teens that were a few years younger than I was! And I wasn't specifically told that "the kids will probably just hide in their rooms." In THAT case, I'd leave them to it, I mean your teen would have basically been going into kids his friend's age and trying to "supervise" or "discipline" them. How weird would that have been!

[Anonymous]

The thing is, when you hire a teen neighbor to watch your kids, you are also taking advantage of the fact that there is a trusted parent (you or DH) nearby in case there is an emergency. You also are familiar with this teen and you are not hiring a stranger to watch your kids. Sounds to me like the neighbor wanted a refund. Never do her a favor again.