Adult Children - New Holiday Tradition

[Anonymous]

Oh DCUM, so jaded! Had she created a TikTok to tout about how amazing she is, I'd roll my eyes a bit but this is an anonymous forum, let her share. I say, good job, OP, and thanks for sharing, this is a nice idea and we need more kindness in the world.

We've had a difficult end of the year, a client of mine (who had no idea I've been struggling this year) gave me a $50 gift card just as a thank you for all I've done for her and her family this year. It meant so much to me, and really brightened my day.

Keep spreading your acts of kindness, OP, it matters. And to all the curmudgeons saying you can't tell someone to pay it forward...I will absolutely be paying it forward in the future when I'm in a better position to do so.

[Anonymous]

I think it is a very nice idea, but be mindful not to use those people's stories as fodder for your generosity. For example one child helped a family in need. That's great. But it's kind of dehumanizing if you guys are talking about that family and their issues at your Thanksgiving table since its someone your child knows... some discretion is warranted. So maybe next year do this for yourselves but don't share all the details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is nice OP! Posters are so jaded on this site.

Agree. Thanks for sharing. I love stories about giving to the community - keep it coming.

And for the jaded folks - maybe share your stories instead of vitriol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a very nice idea, but be mindful not to use those people's stories as fodder for your generosity. For example one child helped a family in need. That's great. But it's kind of dehumanizing if you guys are talking about that family and their issues at your Thanksgiving table since its someone your child knows... some discretion is warranted. So maybe next year do this for yourselves but don't share all the details.

So if you host a family for Christmas (which we’ve done) you cannot share your experience with other people who don’t know the family- so stupid. I think people should share and inspire people to do more. Everyone can do something- even as simple as spending a day playing games at the old folks home or carrying groceries in for an overloaded parent with a screaming toddler.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a cute idea. Always good to share with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What position are you in that you believe you have the right to tell another adult to "pay it forward"?

If you want to do a good deed, just do it. Giving someone a job assignment is NOT a good deed. Assuming you are not their mother, their supervisor, or their boss, you are not in the place to be telling anyone what to do. Mind your own business.

If you want to give, give freely without a catch. If you want there to be a catch, find organizations that screen applicants.

Did you read the post at all?

This is literally their MOTHER. The mother of these young adults gave them gift cards and told them to pass it on.

Again, since reading comprehension is hard, the OP is the MOTHER in this story and she gave HER OWN children these gift cards.

Hope that helps

Apparently it is.

And I shared my cards with random people I encountered “asking them to pay it forward”, some people engaged me in conversation... 

[Anonymous]

What a nice thing to do OP, for your family and for others.

Please ignore the curmudgeons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is a very nice idea, but be mindful not to use those people's stories as fodder for your generosity. For example one child helped a family in need. That's great. But it's kind of dehumanizing if you guys are talking about that family and their issues at your Thanksgiving table since its someone your child knows... some discretion is warranted. So maybe next year do this for yourselves but don't share all the details.

So if you host a family for Christmas (which we’ve done) you cannot share your experience with other people who don’t know the family- so stupid. I think people should share and inspire people to do more. Everyone can do something- even as simple as spending a day playing games at the old folks home or carrying groceries in for an overloaded parent with a screaming toddler.

What I am saying, is if you help someone that you do know, that you should be mindful not to make too much of them and their "story" as in "oh the father has cancer, the mother lost her job, we gave them food, the poor kids, they wouldn't have had a nice holiday, if not for us, etc." It can become a bit gossipy and patronizing if it’s not kept in check.

[Anonymous]

Passing gift cards around unspent is just donating money to big corporations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is nice OP! Posters are so jaded on this site.

+1

Would you rather OP says she is mad at Norway because she did not win a prize?
Would you rather she host wedding in Italy that uses up all the available gondolas?

Or maybe she could spend it on fillers?

Come now, Grumps of DCUM. OP and her family did something nice.

Be nice, people!

[Anonymous]

Well done! I like this idea and may try it myself