Just so stressed in this climate

[Anonymous]

ED Tulane, GW, LMU - he’ll be fine. Ignore the rest it’s a race he isn’t even in.

[Anonymous]

The more I read this forum, the less stressed I’ve become, truly. Because I wouldn’t want my kid going to college with the kids of the prestige obsessed nut jobs who post on here. Kids who grow up in households where things like rankings and hooks and EC strategies are discussed regularly are super annoying.

[Anonymous]

Hi, this is my kid. If you kid has a few honors/AP/DE & gets a mix of grades, has a job, some rec sports & maybe something else, that’s the less vocal majority of kids in the area.

Honestly, if you have 60k/yr to spend & are looking at schools ranked 50+, there’s so many options: less popular out of state flagships, smaller private schools that do discount pricing, and everything in between (directional schools, second tier public, etc)

If you’re more budget conscious, and your kid doesn’t have an 8.0 gpa & cure cancer whilst being an Olympic athlete, there are still loads of options, just that your kid might have to compromise something (rah rah feel, location—maybe cold or rural, etc)

Frankly, there’s less to say when a school accepts 60-70%+ of applicants

We are in VA. Personally, my child is exploring JMU, maybe UMW, VT as a reach, VCU, Wisconsin publics (not UW-Mad; near extended family & good OOS tuition prices), Ohio University, and potentially smaller PA privates like Susquehanna. I’m confident he’d get into everything except VT & maybe JMU. So *lots* of options. All $40k or less (many $30k or less)

My thoughts: You student should challenge themselves. Maybe that’s taking math senior year, maybe it’s AP US History, maybe it’s taking a foreign language. A balanced schedule where they aren’t stressed but do stretch themselves in a course or 2. Additionally, have them be involved. Like sports but aren’t a super star? Play rec league, ref, and/or work at sports summer camps. Or like gaming? Consider esports, programming a game (or designing a board game), and/or join/create gaming club at school and actually be involved (vs just show up). Or maybe like drawing but aren’t prize winning? Work at art camp, take art classes outside of school, etc. Like history but not dealing with people? Volunteer digitizing documents online and doing your own research projects (not to be published just bc they are interested).

Just take a genuine interest & get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more I read this forum, the less stressed I’ve become, truly. Because I wouldn’t want my kid going to college with the kids of the prestige obsessed nut jobs who post on here. Kids who grow up in households where things like rankings and hooks and EC strategies are discussed regularly are super annoying.

I don’t think there’s an easy escape—whether you read DCUM or not. Just look at the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more I read this forum, the less stressed I’ve become, truly. Because I wouldn’t want my kid going to college with the kids of the prestige obsessed nut jobs who post on here. Kids who grow up in households where things like rankings and hooks and EC strategies are discussed regularly are super annoying.

I don’t think there’s an easy escape—whether you read DCUM or not. Just look at the workplace.

I work with really nice, normal people, and I work at a college often mentioned here, ha!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?

That's me and that is my youngest! There are so many options for these kids! I remember getting stressed when my older 2 (now in college) would get Bs but now that I have been through it and my youngest has a few Cs on his transcript I am actually much more relaxed. He won't be going any sort of top school but there are tons of schools for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The more I read this forum, the less stressed I’ve become, truly. Because I wouldn’t want my kid going to college with the kids of the prestige obsessed nut jobs who post on here. Kids who grow up in households where things like rankings and hooks and EC strategies are discussed regularly are super annoying.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The more I read this forum, the less stressed I’ve become, truly. Because I wouldn’t want my kid going to college with the kids of the prestige obsessed nut jobs who post on here. Kids who grow up in households where things like rankings and hooks and EC strategies are discussed regularly are super annoying.

I don’t think there’s an easy escape—whether you read DCUM or not. Just look at the workplace.

I work with really nice, normal people, and I work at a college often mentioned here, ha!

Your college is a part of the problem. Parents manipulating their kids in with ridiculous admissions criteria for teenagers and charging too much. Tell them to change first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?

This is so cringy.
Can't the parents mind their own business? Their own aspirations? Pick up a hobby, learn a new language. Think about it, if you are just a stay-at-home spouse who married someone rich, why do you expect so much out of your kid? To repeat our life? Why are you stressed? It isn't you who is going to these colleges.

[Anonymous]

This board tends to attract parents whose kids are focused on the very competitive T50 schools. Trying to get in there requires a lot of effort, including some insight into details that are not otherwise easy to find. Applying to the T50 schools can be a total PITA, and I've found DCUM to be very helpful.

There is also A LOT of excellent information and advice on this board about less intense, competitive, highly rejective schools. It's just harder to find sometimes.

My advice: Skip all the broad posts, especially anything with T10 or T20 in the title. Start putting together a list of schools that interest your DC. Then use Google to search this board for threads specifically about those schools. (Search DCUM + [School Name])

Yes, that will bring up otherwise helpful and insightful threads that also include some annoying, rude, and/or obnoxious comments about said school. Just ignore that part. Lots of haters who can't help themselves.

I've learned A LOT by posting questions that are very specific. Example: My DC Likes School X and School Y. Where Else Should They Consider? (Then provide a few more details in the post about WHY your DC likes those schools, and people will give good ideas.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This board tends to attract parents whose kids are focused on the very competitive T50 schools. Trying to get in there requires a lot of effort, including some insight into details that are not otherwise easy to find. Applying to the T50 schools can be a total PITA, and I've found DCUM to be very helpful.

There is also A LOT of excellent information and advice on this board about less intense, competitive, highly rejective schools. It's just harder to find sometimes.

My advice: Skip all the broad posts, especially anything with T10 or T20 in the title. Start putting together a list of schools that interest your DC. Then use Google to search this board for threads specifically about those schools. (Search DCUM + [School Name])

Yes, that will bring up otherwise helpful and insightful threads that also include some annoying, rude, and/or obnoxious comments about said school. Just ignore that part. Lots of haters who can't help themselves.

I've learned A LOT by posting questions that are very specific. Example: My DC Likes School X and School Y. Where Else Should They Consider? (Then provide a few more details in the post about WHY your DC likes those schools, and people will give good ideas.)

+1. This is good advice. And I've found College Confidential to be very useful and kind as an online community on the whole too.

[Anonymous]

So happy DS loves his safety option, so we don’t have to have these anxieties.

[Anonymous]

I don’t kind these forums. They give me an insight into a world I have no exposure to. Honestly, I have a masters and didn’t even know what Williams college is (I’m from the west coast) until I started reading this. My kid managed her high school life on her own and will end probably end up at a northeast flagship (umass or uvm) next year. The tradeoffs many make to get their kid to a t10 or slac aren’t worth it imo. It’s all a matter of perspective op. That said, I don’t think I’ll sleep well until she hears back from all the schools she applied to a makes a decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t kind these forums. They give me an insight into a world I have no exposure to. Honestly, I have a masters and didn’t even know what Williams college is (I’m from the west coast) until I started reading this. My kid managed her high school life on her own and will end probably end up at a northeast flagship (umass or uvm) next year. The tradeoffs many make to get their kid to a t10 or slac aren’t worth it imo. It’s all a matter of perspective op. That said, I don’t think I’ll sleep well until she hears back from all the schools she applied to a makes a decision.

This is where I am too. My smart but ordinary kid is already in at two Big Ten schools that she likes very much, and we would be happy to send her and load up on the merch, but her sense of worth seems to be caught up in some of the reaches she is still waiting to hear from. It could be all rejections from here out, and that will be hard to manage emotionally even if the end result is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just have a perfectly nice regular kid. Not a stellar athlete nor a drama maven nor a superstar all APs academic - just a regular old good kid.
I am feeling just - tense - with so much college noise. Hooked/unhooked, legacy, etc etc - just - it's all so much. I do not remember it being this way when I was growing up. I'd been coming to this board and just seeing the posts make me feel geared up. Is anyone else feeling like me? I wouldn't call my kid "awesomely average" (I know that's a Facebook group) but just not like - "special" in the way it feels like you need to be now either? Like he's just a well-rounded kid who does some clubs, plays a sport at a decent but not standout level, and is nice with plenty of friends? Where are these parents, where are my people?

I feel the same. And it’s all made more stressful with the addition of all the woke nonsense. They hit you over the head with it from the very first college tour. Our JMU tour had us divide up into groups and offered a non-binary guide for certain kids.