No desire for new friendships

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01/13/2026 21:33

Subject: No desire for new friendships

quote

Anonymous

I feel the same, old friends that really just annoy me now with too much bickering.
I try to hang out in smaller group of 1-3 friends, about all I can handle.
I’m open to new friendships if there is connection, but not seeking it.
In addition to my family, I just enjoy time with my pets.

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01/14/2026 08:57

Subject: No desire for new friendships

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I feel similarly but am more worried than you seem to be. I worry about isolation later in life.

I like people but after a few minutes I am ready to be alone again. I think I erred by not nurturing old friendships and I am overwhelmed by the thought of what I'd have to do to reconnect.

And, I find myself more irritated by people lately, especially those who are very energetic, extroverted, and smiley. I know that sounds bad. but I am just too tired to match them. They seem happy and eager and I don't want to disappoint them or make them feel rejected so I just stay away. I guess it's an energy issue and I can't do the initial stages of getting to know you right now. I hope it changes in the future. Also, I didn't like how botox looked on me and so I am trying to not have to make all those really happy and excited facial expressions.

I think I am somewhere around where you are. (Age 60)

The people I used to consider friends seem to come in two categories, either they are busy “getting the most out of life” (an idea which exhausts me) or they themselves are very needy (an idea which exhausts me even more).

I just can’t think of anything I’d like to be doing that requires a friend in the same way that it worked in years past.

People come with such baggage after years of being alive and I feel like I’m full up with my own. I have no more room for anyone else’s. I also don’t expect anyone else to shoulder mine, though, either.

I might have inherited it. I don’t recall either of my parents ever really having friends.

Maybe I’ve just never been that type of kid to play with the others in the sandbox. I’d rather read a book.

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01/14/2026 08:58

Subject: No desire for new friendships

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to socialize a lot, mostly because of kids, had a group of friend as well but that ended after a local move. Old real friendships faded through decades of distance. So my social life now is basically dh, in-laws (do not get along great but see them from time to time), my kids and ds's girlfriend. Occasionally I see neighbors and will chat for five minutes. Beyond that, it's just me in the house working (I am fully remote) and I love it and I have zero desire to meet new people, create new relationships. A friend from years ago was in town a few months ago and it was nice enough seeing her, but not like I'd have minded not seeing her or feel either way about seeing her again. Idk if this feeling is due to the group friendship ending weirdly and feeling some form of mourning over it, or just me getting older and being more jaded...Will I always feel that way? I miss how easy it all used to be making friends, but also don't like how seemingly meaningful friendships don't actually mean anything at all.

This sounds like a you problem? My old, real friendships haven't faded through decades of distance because I've nurtured them.

Congratulations, good for you. You happened upon some like minded people you get along with. Surely, you can sleep well at night safe in the knowledge of your superiority at not happening upon traumatic friendship pitfalls, you win!