Did your sex life improve when you became empty nesters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiated divorce and my life improved a lot. My spouse made me feel bad all the time and we never had sex. After I left, I found out I was fun and attractive after all. I was still a good parent.

Troll. Lame

Naw, a lot of men feel this way. I experienced something similar. It rings true.

lol

Aww, poor guy. He felt bad all the time about what a lousy husband he was, so he divorced and his sex life improved a lot. How fun! Lol. And he claims he’s a a good parent! Whatever that means.

I will be generous to you and give you the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that your ex husband was a bad husband and a bad father, and that he was the cause of your bitterness rather than the victim of it. Plenty of men actually were good husbands and fathers who were stuck in miserable marriages to women who were not good partners.

I’ll be generous “to you” and give you the benefit of the doubt. I will assume you are unaware that 80% of divorces are filed by women and that 100% of divorces are “miserable marriages” by the time of said filing. Plenty of women were good wives and mothers (to the children, not the husbands), who were stuck with miserable partners who could not and would not parent or partner.

[Anonymous]

What are good ways of sustaining an improved sex life after becoming empty?

[Anonymous]

Nope. And had no expectations of improvement. She's as cold as ice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are good ways of sustaining an improved sex life after becoming empty?

Pic up after yourself.

Mange 50-% of the household activities and tag team as needed

Good verbal communication; know how to have conversations about life, how someone is doing, etc not just work or a recite a news article.

Share your thoughts and feelings

Set goals and plan trips or events to look FW to.

Be trustworthy, reliable and safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Improve from what?
If you are in your late thirties/early forties and think that your sex life will be better in 10 years when the kids are out of the house, think again.
If you are asking if they improved from the year before, when I was already post-menopausal, then yes. We have more time now to experiment and there isn’t as much pressure. Plus we are both more aware that this isn’t going to last forever, and we both like this part of our life.

If you don’t mind sharing, In terms of experimenting, something like positions or toys? Or we talking something like ENM or swinging?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Improve from what?
If you are in your late thirties/early forties and think that your sex life will be better in 10 years when the kids are out of the house, think again.
If you are asking if they improved from the year before, when I was already post-menopausal, then yes. We have more time now to experiment and there isn’t as much pressure. Plus we are both more aware that this isn’t going to last forever, and we both like this part of our life.

Right? If you are sticking it out thinking that you will have better sex when your third grader starts college, you are in for a sad reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Improve from what?
If you are in your late thirties/early forties and think that your sex life will be better in 10 years when the kids are out of the house, think again.
If you are asking if they improved from the year before, when I was already post-menopausal, then yes. We have more time now to experiment and there isn’t as much pressure. Plus we are both more aware that this isn’t going to last forever, and we both like this part of our life.

If you don’t mind sharing, In terms of experimenting, something like positions or toys? Or we talking something like ENM or swinging?

Are you serious?

[Anonymous]

Wow, I’m surprised at these answers. The minute our kids were all off to college and we had the house fully to ourselves, we were able to have some fantastic sex. And it has continued for the ensuing years.

It makes a huge difference to be alone in our home and not worry about anyone else being around. We don’t have to accommodate anyone else’s schedules, we don’t have to have dinner in the table for anyone but ourselves. We can do what we want, when we want. It is like the early years of our marriage again and we are enjoying it immensely.

[Anonymous]

Finding newer and younger partners. For 20 years, I thought I just wasn't that into sex. It turns out I just wasnt that into the same sex with my husband.

[Anonymous]

We always had a good sex life but being empty nesters simply meant we didn’t worry about anyone hearing or interrupting us. The energy level definitely went up. We have a hot tub and we made better use of it. Those jets are magical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I’m surprised at these answers. The minute our kids were all off to college and we had the house fully to ourselves, we were able to have some fantastic sex. And it has continued for the ensuing years.

It makes a huge difference to be alone in our home and not worry about anyone else being around. We don’t have to accommodate anyone else’s schedules, we don’t have to have dinner in the table for anyone but ourselves. We can do what we want, when we want. It is like the early years of our marriage again and we are enjoying it immensely.

This was us until menopause hit and my libido took a nose dive. We are both fit, I am just disinterested

[Anonymous]

A truly empty nest should mean no kids, and no animals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Improve from what?
If you are in your late thirties/early forties and think that your sex life will be better in 10 years when the kids are out of the house, think again.
If you are asking if they improved from the year before, when I was already post-menopausal, then yes. We have more time now to experiment and there isn’t as much pressure. Plus we are both more aware that this isn’t going to last forever, and we both like this part of our life.

If you don’t mind sharing, In terms of experimenting, something like positions or toys? Or we talking something like ENM or swinging?

Are you serious?

New poster. sounds like the person has curiosity. speaking for myself, those are activities more easily explored after empty nest and having less to worry about. ok, positions and toys should already have been checked off the list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I initiated divorce and my life improved a lot. My spouse made me feel bad all the time and we never had sex. After I left, I found out I was fun and attractive after all. I was still a good parent.

Troll. Lame

Naw, a lot of men feel this way. I experienced something similar. It rings true.

lol

Aww, poor guy. He felt bad all the time about what a lousy husband he was, so he divorced and his sex life improved a lot. How fun! Lol. And he claims he’s a a good parent! Whatever that means.

I will be generous to you and give you the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that your ex husband was a bad husband and a bad father, and that he was the cause of your bitterness rather than the victim of it. Plenty of men actually were good husbands and fathers who were stuck in miserable marriages to women who were not good partners.

I’ll be generous “to you” and give you the benefit of the doubt. I will assume you are unaware that 80% of divorces are filed by women and that 100% of divorces are “miserable marriages” by the time of said filing. Plenty of women were good wives and mothers (to the children, not the husbands), who were stuck with miserable partners who could not and would not parent or partner.

And I would be willing to bet a chunk of these men got sick of the wife acting like their husbands were needed to be patented. And grew tired of having wives that can’t separate being a mother and being a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I’m surprised at these answers. The minute our kids were all off to college and we had the house fully to ourselves, we were able to have some fantastic sex. And it has continued for the ensuing years.

It makes a huge difference to be alone in our home and not worry about anyone else being around. We don’t have to accommodate anyone else’s schedules, we don’t have to have dinner in the table for anyone but ourselves. We can do what we want, when we want. It is like the early years of our marriage again and we are enjoying it immensely.

This was us until menopause hit and my libido took a nose dive. We are both fit, I am just disinterested

I was well into menopause when our youngest left for college and I never had that problem. People’s bodies are different and their situations are different. I’m sorry you feel you had that effect from menopause. Have you explored the the other possible causes?