How to start going to church as a family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here… thank you all for the encouragement and definitely appreciate it. In a weird way I was very scared to even post this, so THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really like the idea of Sunday school! Keep the thoughts coming!
Oh and we’re in the Alexandria/Springfield area… a lot of churches, just a little overwhelming. But good to know it’s ok to try different places till we get our vibe and groove. Thank you!!!

One more thing -- don't be surprised if one or more of your kids don't like going to church. One or more may love it and one or more might hate it - maybe because they liked what they have been doing on Sunday mornings, or maybe because they simply don't believe and life was going along fine for them until their parents wanted to go to church -- and they learned a bunch of supernatural things that they simply don't believe.

Yes, some people seem to be natural non-believers, even as children - and especially as children who have never been expected to go to church before. Maybe you've got one. You'll soon find out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not make a list of the ones in the correct denomination that are within a 15 minute drive, see if they have relevant kid programming, and then spend the next few months trying them out? Seems simple enough? If you like none of them then you may have a bigger issue. But hopefully at least one will be a good fit.

Figuring out the correct denomination is important. There are real differences between them and you need to find the true one.

[Anonymous]

Are you and your husband the same denomination?

[Anonymous]

You are not necessarily wedded to whatever a childhood denomination was. Try various services. See what resonates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are prepared to tithe? Are you willing to get involved in roles in the church — ushering, youth group, finance committee etc?

I have been going to church for 50 years and have never tithed. No church I have attended has ever asked me to contribute money.

Op and her family won’t be asked to assume roles in the church until they have decided to become members. They are going to check out different options and won’t be doing the heavy lifting of church membership until later, if at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not necessarily wedded to whatever a childhood denomination was. Try various services. See what resonates.

I second this. I grew up Catholic. It never took hold in me. It seemed like a bunch of werid rituals and rules and everyone was always supposed to feel guilty all the time. I never understood the Bible. I obeyed out of fear. Eventually, I gave up on all of it.

When I was 42 years old, I was facing a personal crisis and ended up going to a well-known non-denominational church in the DMV mainly out of curiousity. I had never been to a church like that before and it was about as different from my Catholic Church upbringing as I could have ever imagined — the Christian rock, dunking baptisms, hand waving, long in depth sermons, an emphasis on the very specific words in the Bible.

I haven’t missed a Sunday since and it changed my life, all for the better. I feel like I actually understand Christianity now. I am living a much better life now out of love, not fear. I just got back from our service a little bit ago and at the end of it I realized again how I am so far above the problems that previously weighed me down. I’m still very much a work in progress, but it really clicked for me as an adult.

I also say this as someone who tried secular therapy for years, self help books, 12 step programs, everything. There is no doubt, whatsoever, that taking religion seriously had more of a positive impact on me in 2 years than all of those other things combined.

I just went. I had no plan at all.

God meets us where we are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here… thank you all for the encouragement and definitely appreciate it. In a weird way I was very scared to even post this, so THANK YOU SO MUCH. I really like the idea of Sunday school! Keep the thoughts coming!
Oh and we’re in the Alexandria/Springfield area… a lot of churches, just a little overwhelming. But good to know it’s ok to try different places till we get our vibe and groove. Thank you!!!

I go to The Journey in Springfield and feel like it’s a great place to start! It’s non denominational, but neither super tradition or super mega churchy. You could definitely get lost in the crowd if you wanted to but I also find people really kind and welcoming. Bonus is there are TONS of families with kids! They even pay for babysitters at weekly life groups so parents can attend.

If it’s not your jam, totally fine, but as someone who has been to a ton of churches over the past ten years, it’s a good place to start and see what you like and don’t like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not necessarily wedded to whatever a childhood denomination was. Try various services. See what resonates.

I second this. I grew up Catholic. It never took hold in me. It seemed like a bunch of werid rituals and rules and everyone was always supposed to feel guilty all the time. I never understood the Bible. I obeyed out of fear. Eventually, I gave up on all of it.

When I was 42 years old, I was facing a personal crisis and ended up going to a well-known non-denominational church in the DMV mainly out of curiousity. I had never been to a church like that before and it was about as different from my Catholic Church upbringing as I could have ever imagined — the Christian rock, dunking baptisms, hand waving, long in depth sermons, an emphasis on the very specific words in the Bible.

I haven’t missed a Sunday since and it changed my life, all for the better. I feel like I actually understand Christianity now. I am living a much better life now out of love, not fear. I just got back from our service a little bit ago and at the end of it I realized again how I am so far above the problems that previously weighed me down. I’m still very much a work in progress, but it really clicked for me as an adult.

I also say this as someone who tried secular therapy for years, self help books, 12 step programs, everything. There is no doubt, whatsoever, that taking religion seriously had more of a positive impact on me in 2 years than all of those other things combined.

I just went. I had no plan at all.

God meets us where we are.

This is inspiring. Could you name the well-known non-denominational church? I'm a lifelong agnostic, newly retired, and I've been feeling aimless. My DH and I would be interested in joining a place like the one you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I come from backgrounds that believe in God but never consistently went to church. As a couple after marriage and even after kids, we haven’t gone to church. But as the kids are getting older (oldest is 7), they have been asking questions and kids at school talk about Jesus and God. We realized we want to make our faith more prominent in our family instead of being driven by busy schedules, etc.
But where do we begin? I don’t feel like we have a good compass.

OP what denomination do you want?

Catholic is different that Presperterian, Methodist, and Evangelical. What is your cup of tea? Do you want a Mega church like McClean bible that is racist and antisemitic? Do you want OPUS Dei cults? Journey churches are evangelical not a good place to start if your kids have never gone their values are control not God or Jesus.

Unitarian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a place with a Sunday school curriculum would be helpful for the kids.

I went and looked at websites of several (we are mainline Protestant) churches nearby. I then looked up each of their denominations and its beliefs. I picked 2 with compatible beliefs to visit by myself - one Sunday at each. Chose the one with the most families with kids.

The next Sunday we all went to Sunday School together. I happen to have little kids, so the hour-long service would be too hard for them at their age. They had a good time, part of he time was a short lesson (recounting a well-known bible story) and part of the time doing crafts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How much are prepared to tithe? Are you willing to get involved in roles in the church — ushering, youth group, finance committee etc?

Those all are optional in my opinion. We do contribute, but we don't have some strict formula to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not necessarily wedded to whatever a childhood denomination was. Try various services. See what resonates.

I second this. I grew up Catholic. It never took hold in me. It seemed like a bunch of werid rituals and rules and everyone was always supposed to feel guilty all the time. I never understood the Bible. I obeyed out of fear. Eventually, I gave up on all of it.

When I was 42 years old, I was facing a personal crisis and ended up going to a well-known non-denominational church in the DMV mainly out of curiousity. I had never been to a church like that before and it was about as different from my Catholic Church upbringing as I could have ever imagined — the Christian rock, dunking baptisms, hand waving, long in depth sermons, an emphasis on the very specific words in the Bible.

I haven’t missed a Sunday since and it changed my life, all for the better. I feel like I actually understand Christianity now. I am living a much better life now out of love, not fear. I just got back from our service a little bit ago and at the end of it I realized again how I am so far above the problems that previously weighed me down. I’m still very much a work in progress, but it really clicked for me as an adult.

I also say this as someone who tried secular therapy for years, self help books, 12 step programs, everything. There is no doubt, whatsoever, that taking religion seriously had more of a positive impact on me in 2 years than all of those other things combined.

I just went. I had no plan at all.

God meets us where we are.

This is inspiring. Could you name the well-known non-denominational church? I'm a lifelong agnostic, newly retired, and I've been feeling aimless. My DH and I would be interested in joining a place like the one you describe.

McLean Bible Church — Tyson’s Corner campus. I volunteer in the welcome center after the 11am service. Stop by sometime!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not necessarily wedded to whatever a childhood denomination was. Try various services. See what resonates.

I second this. I grew up Catholic. It never took hold in me. It seemed like a bunch of werid rituals and rules and everyone was always supposed to feel guilty all the time. I never understood the Bible. I obeyed out of fear. Eventually, I gave up on all of it.

When I was 42 years old, I was facing a personal crisis and ended up going to a well-known non-denominational church in the DMV mainly out of curiousity. I had never been to a church like that before and it was about as different from my Catholic Church upbringing as I could have ever imagined — the Christian rock, dunking baptisms, hand waving, long in depth sermons, an emphasis on the very specific words in the Bible.

I haven’t missed a Sunday since and it changed my life, all for the better. I feel like I actually understand Christianity now. I am living a much better life now out of love, not fear. I just got back from our service a little bit ago and at the end of it I realized again how I am so far above the problems that previously weighed me down. I’m still very much a work in progress, but it really clicked for me as an adult.

I also say this as someone who tried secular therapy for years, self help books, 12 step programs, everything. There is no doubt, whatsoever, that taking religion seriously had more of a positive impact on me in 2 years than all of those other things combined.

I just went. I had no plan at all.

God meets us where we are.

This is inspiring. Could you name the well-known non-denominational church? I'm a lifelong agnostic, newly retired, and I've been feeling aimless. My DH and I would be interested in joining a place like the one you describe.

McLean Bible Church — Tyson’s Corner campus. I volunteer in the welcome center after the 11am service. Stop by sometime!

Thanks so much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not make a list of the ones in the correct denomination that are within a 15 minute drive, see if they have relevant kid programming, and then spend the next few months trying them out? Seems simple enough? If you like none of them then you may have a bigger issue. But hopefully at least one will be a good fit.

Figuring out the correct denomination is important. There are real differences between them and you need to find the true one.

People have different faiths and beliefs that are true for them. As a poster wisely said above, God meets us where we are. We are not all in the same place nor will we ever be.

Blessings to everyone. Peace to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a place with a Sunday school curriculum would be helpful for the kids.

I went and looked at websites of several (we are mainline Protestant) churches nearby. I then looked up each of their denominations and its beliefs. I picked 2 with compatible beliefs to visit by myself - one Sunday at each. Chose the one with the most families with kids.

The next Sunday we all went to Sunday School together. I happen to have little kids, so the hour-long service would be too hard for them at their age. They had a good time, part of he time was a short lesson (recounting a well-known bible story) and part of the time doing crafts.

I'm not mainline, but this is what I suggest as well. Look up the closest churches, find their statement of belief and their denomination's statement of belief, and pick from the closest ones that match what you also believe about faith. It'll be completely pointless to pick a nice church if they believe something totally different than you on, say, marriage that will constantly make you mad.

From there, filter down by feel/how you like the sermon/if the community seems welcoming/what you think about the music/whatever.

When your kids are that little, distance matters. Plus if you eventually do dive all in, going to events not on Sundays and joining a small group and such, it would be nice to be close to home. And my kids have loved the rare times when they had church friends at the same school as them.