How do you say goodbye to a home you love?

[Anonymous]

We are moving out of our first house, where we brought our children home. It was intended as a starter home and I knew we would leave eventually, but I thought we’d have more time here. I’m getting pretty sad about it! I’m planning on getting a custom painting of it to hang in our new home. And I’m thinking about all the memories we will make there too.

[Anonymous]

I found that by the time I was actually leaving, the houses were all depersonalized and decluttered for sale to the point of not feeling like mine anymore.

[Anonymous]

I found that by the time I was actually leaving, the houses were all depersonalized and decluttered for sale to the point of not feeling like mine anymore.

This makes sense. When you move you take personal items, wall decor, rugs, and furniture with you. Those things should make your new home feel somewhat like your old home. Some of them might even look better or fit in better or be more useful in the new space. If you can't take it all, at least you can take some of your most loved items. You will be amazed by how quickly you adjust to the new place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A house is a bunch of walls that you can replace: a home is full of people and love, wherever your people are, can be your home

This, 1000%. We brought all of our children home to the house I currently live in when they were born. I always thought it would kill me to leave. Then DH passed away, and I realized it is just a house.

+1

[Anonymous]

Miltary mom with lots of moves under my belt.

When your stuff is loaded into the truck, you’ll see that the home is now back to a house. It’s hard, yes, but wherever you go, there you are. You’ll build a home in the next house, and it will be okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I found that by the time I was actually leaving, the houses were all depersonalized and decluttered for sale to the point of not feeling like mine anymore.

+1

Also, the people who bought the house from us painted the exterior a color I did not care for. We moved out of state, so I only drive past when visiting relatives in our hometown. When I see it now on visits back, it doesn't feel at all like our old house at all! It actually helped oddly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forced to move out of a home with tons of fond memories. Thought I’d grow old here and that grandchildren would run around. Does anyone have any special tradition to make saying goodbye easier?

I took a video of the interior before we moved. I also took some plants from the garden with me to my new house...just a few, not enough to be missed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Miltary mom with lots of moves under my belt.

When your stuff is loaded into the truck, you’ll see that the home is now back to a house. It’s hard, yes, but wherever you go, there you are. You’ll build a home in the next house, and it will be okay.

This is wonderful! Thank you. Not OP.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure how much time you have left, but when we started to talk about downsizing someday, I made sure that all of the updates and changes that would be needed to sell would be done early and enjoyed by us.

So, we began about 5 years out. I got to enjoy a “ finished” and beautiful home. It would have been so difficult to make the home I loved beautiful for someone else.

If shorter term and you are leaving soon, recognize it is ok to be sad. Start to declutter one room at a time and then enjoy that space. Move on to the next. Talk about the memories in those spaces.

It was so emotional for me to leave our home of over 25 years but we were ready for the next chapter. I love my current home to but I could sell tomorrow. It’s really the memories of that first home which made it so hard!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We held hands in prayer and thanked God for blessing us with so many joys and memories there. I miss our little yellow house in New England!

DP. This is lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forced to move out of a home with tons of fond memories. Thought I’d grow old here and that grandchildren would run around. Does anyone have any special tradition to make saying goodbye easier?

I just moved from a house I loved and designed and renovated bathrooms to make beautiful. The move was part of a divorce settlement. The only home my daughter ever lived in. I went to the house and took pictures with it furnished, then I took pictures when it was empty and it didn’t look like mine anymore (walls painted sterile white etc). I then went back to the house and sat on the floor in each room for as long as I wanted and said good bye to each room. I thanked each room and the house for supporting me/us through the years, apologized for some of the energy/turmoil it had to witness etc. I felt my feelings. Then I said farewell and wished the new owners joy and fulfillment. I said I hope that they take care of the house and are happy in it.

The house just sold and is under contract and the grief is back some (it reps a transition) and I’m more detached than I was months ago. And I just feel my feelings when I feel them.

Maybe you can do the same? I don’t believe a house has to be just a structure. It can have any meaning it has for you.

You are heard by me OP.

[Anonymous]

We got a watercolor done on Etsy to hang in our new house when we had to move cross-country for work. We don't really have sadness, just fondness. I also wrote a tiny thank you; you were a great home, like someone else suggested on an upper shelf in a closet. Loved my house, but also love my new house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forced to move out of a home with tons of fond memories. Thought I’d grow old here and that grandchildren would run around. Does anyone have any special tradition to make saying goodbye easier?

I just moved from a house I loved and designed and renovated bathrooms to make beautiful. The move was part of a divorce settlement. The only home my daughter ever lived in. I went to the house and took pictures with it furnished, then I took pictures when it was empty and it didn’t look like mine anymore (walls painted sterile white etc). I then went back to the house and sat on the floor in each room for as long as I wanted and said good bye to each room. I thanked each room and the house for supporting me/us through the years, apologized for some of the energy/turmoil it had to witness etc. I felt my feelings. Then I said farewell and wished the new owners joy and fulfillment. I said I hope that they take care of the house and are happy in it.

The house just sold and is under contract and the grief is back some (it reps a transition) and I’m more detached than I was months ago. And I just feel my feelings when I feel them.

Maybe you can do the same? I don’t believe a house has to be just a structure. It can have any meaning it has for you.

You are heard by me OP.

Thank you. Op here. It’s hard now and it happened quickly so packing during the holidays. We weren’t here for long but I loved this house so much and it feels like losing a big part of my identity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forced to move out of a home with tons of fond memories. Thought I’d grow old here and that grandchildren would run around. Does anyone have any special tradition to make saying goodbye easier?

It is possible that being forced to move is bringing up more issues for you, that are perhaps not about the house itself. I am sorry, OP. It is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would take pictures of all the spaces/details that are special to you. If you can, invite close friends and family for dinner one last time and have them share memories related to the house. Just like with any other type of grief, it will get easier with time. I still sometimes just close my eyes, picture myself in my old home and remember how peaceful I generally felt there. I try to feel the same feelings and let them linger for a while, and then back to reality.

Pretty dramatic wouldn’t you say?

DP. Not really. To each their own. Who are we to judge?