advice for twins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only advice i would give is to encourage them not to ED to the same school, especially if the school is a top20 school. Traditionally colleges tried and rendered the same decision if the twins had the same stats but this seems to have mostly gone away in recent years. I know 2 sets where the weaker twin was accepted and the stronger one not. This is certainly within the college's prerogative to do but made for a very hard year within these families when one kid was going to all the happy, accepted student events for the ED school and the other was not. I have rising junior twins and we will do our best to encourage them to choose different ED schools.

You know what ? It’s also very, very hard for younger siblings with a sibling only a grade above (or two) to be rejected from that same college. My kids are extremely close and identical academic records/caliber of activities and want to be at the same place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only advice i would give is to encourage them not to ED to the same school, especially if the school is a top20 school. Traditionally colleges tried and rendered the same decision if the twins had the same stats but this seems to have mostly gone away in recent years. I know 2 sets where the weaker twin was accepted and the stronger one not. This is certainly within the college's prerogative to do but made for a very hard year within these families when one kid was going to all the happy, accepted student events for the ED school and the other was not. I have rising junior twins and we will do our best to encourage them to choose different ED schools.

You know what ? It’s also very, very hard for younger siblings with a sibling only a grade above (or two) to be rejected from that same college. My kids are extremely close and identical academic records/caliber of activities and want to be at the same place.

No one said it wasn't. 🤷🙄

I would say that going through it at the exact same time is much harder which is why colleges tended to admit twins as pairs--not because twins can't bear to be apart for 4 years but because choosing one kid over another when they live in the same house really sucks for both kids.

But OP's post isn't a debate about whether colleges should do this or not and it's certainly their right to do it. College admissions are hard all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only advice i would give is to encourage them not to ED to the same school, especially if the school is a top20 school. Traditionally colleges tried and rendered the same decision if the twins had the same stats but this seems to have mostly gone away in recent years. I know 2 sets where the weaker twin was accepted and the stronger one not. This is certainly within the college's prerogative to do but made for a very hard year within these families when one kid was going to all the happy, accepted student events for the ED school and the other was not. I have rising junior twins and we will do our best to encourage them to choose different ED schools.

You know what ? It’s also very, very hard for younger siblings with a sibling only a grade above (or two) to be rejected from that same college. My kids are extremely close and identical academic records/caliber of activities and want to be at the same place.

No one said it wasn't. 🤷🙄

I would say that going through it at the exact same time is much harder which is why colleges tended to admit twins as pairs--not because twins can't bear to be apart for 4 years but because choosing one kid over another when they live in the same house really sucks for both kids.

But OP's post isn't a debate about whether colleges should do this or not and it's certainly their right to do it. College admissions are hard all around.

Sorry but with a senior in high school and freshmen in college—there is no way twins should gain some advantage my kids 18 months apart don’t get.

And, with IVF the twin and multiple sib set has exploded. My kid has multiple, multiple sets in their class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only advice i would give is to encourage them not to ED to the same school, especially if the school is a top20 school. Traditionally colleges tried and rendered the same decision if the twins had the same stats but this seems to have mostly gone away in recent years. I know 2 sets where the weaker twin was accepted and the stronger one not. This is certainly within the college's prerogative to do but made for a very hard year within these families when one kid was going to all the happy, accepted student events for the ED school and the other was not. I have rising junior twins and we will do our best to encourage them to choose different ED schools.

You know what ? It’s also very, very hard for younger siblings with a sibling only a grade above (or two) to be rejected from that same college. My kids are extremely close and identical academic records/caliber of activities and want to be at the same place.

No one said it wasn't. 🤷🙄

I would say that going through it at the exact same time is much harder which is why colleges tended to admit twins as pairs--not because twins can't bear to be apart for 4 years but because choosing one kid over another when they live in the same house really sucks for both kids.

But OP's post isn't a debate about whether colleges should do this or not and it's certainly their right to do it. College admissions are hard all around.

Sorry but with a senior in high school and freshmen in college—there is no way twins should gain some advantage my kids 18 months apart don’t get.

And, with IVF the twin and multiple sib set has exploded. My kid has multiple, multiple sets in their class.

Uh, maybe read the posts again.
Nobody is saying that they should be any advantage.
Only that if you have twins, encourage them to apply to different ED schools.

[Anonymous]

I have senior twins who are identical and they want to go to different colleges. We visited all of our schools together and just saw a lot of them (around 12 formal visits and a few additional self-tours). One applied ED and the other applied EA to their favorite schools. If one of them gets in (we find out both decisions next week), their twin will not apply to that school - they decided that not me.

For all of the multiples parents here, you may find a novel called "The Latecomer" by Jean Hanff Korelitz interesting. I loved it for lots of reasons, but the family in the story has triplets and two of the triplets end up going to the same college. It is a fantastic read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only advice i would give is to encourage them not to ED to the same school, especially if the school is a top20 school. Traditionally colleges tried and rendered the same decision if the twins had the same stats but this seems to have mostly gone away in recent years. I know 2 sets where the weaker twin was accepted and the stronger one not. This is certainly within the college's prerogative to do but made for a very hard year within these families when one kid was going to all the happy, accepted student events for the ED school and the other was not. I have rising junior twins and we will do our best to encourage them to choose different ED schools.

I am not sure how seriously this should be taken. I think there was a set of triplets, all of whom were accepted to ALL the Ivies not long ago.

That was 2014 and they were black males. 100% irrelevant to any twins in 2026.

Nope they are definitely not black males

https://eu.azcentral.com/story/news/local/scottsdale/2014/05/21/triplets-named-merit-scholars-heading-ivy-league/9375663/

[Anonymous]

I have b/g twins who just graduated college this spring and did attend the same School. They are very different and had different strenghts and interests but interestinly their scores were nearly the same (their PSAT was identical!)and they both had high GPA's but one was top 10 ranked and the other was in the top 25 of their class of 400+.

We traveled a fair bit and everytime we were near a college, we drove through it, visited the bookstore, checked it out. We were doing this as early as sophmore year in HS, just as it was convenient. I think we visited Yale when we were in CT for Christmas maybe even before that - and Yale was never going to be viable LOL but seeing all those campuses gave them ideas of what they liked and didn't like. We only did two formal tours.

They both chose to ED even though the rest of their lists varied significantly and they did get in, thankfully, though the lower stat twin was very anxious about it, they also had some good backup plans and felt that it wasn't going to be the end fo the world if they didn't get in. They had also already been accepted EA at other places so that took the burden off.

This was in 2020 application cycle and I will say that being a twin and applying ED absolutely helped my lower stat twin get in. Now, yes, sure things may have changed since but I know that it had a positive effect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have b/g twins who just graduated college this spring and did attend the same School. They are very different and had different strenghts and interests but interestinly their scores were nearly the same (their PSAT was identical!)and they both had high GPA's but one was top 10 ranked and the other was in the top 25 of their class of 400+.

We traveled a fair bit and everytime we were near a college, we drove through it, visited the bookstore, checked it out. We were doing this as early as sophmore year in HS, just as it was convenient. I think we visited Yale when we were in CT for Christmas maybe even before that - and Yale was never going to be viable LOL but seeing all those campuses gave them ideas of what they liked and didn't like. We only did two formal tours.

They both chose to ED even though the rest of their lists varied significantly and they did get in, thankfully, though the lower stat twin was very anxious about it, they also had some good backup plans and felt that it wasn't going to be the end fo the world if they didn't get in. They had also already been accepted EA at other places so that took the burden off.

This was in 2020 application cycle and I will say that being a twin and applying ED absolutely helped my lower stat twin get in. Now, yes, sure things may have changed since but I know that it had a positive effect.

I find this post helpful, but also 2020 was a very different year for college acceptances (as well as everything else)

[Anonymous]

I started a new twins post as I had not seen this one. As a mom of senior twins I would recommend you start with virtual info sessions and then narrow down possibilities. I would recommend making an ED choice without visiting but for non binding applications I think it’s fine not to visit before getting admitted.

I would also recommend that your twins do their main essay over the summer and set up their Common App account (filling in what they can such as activities) before the start of senior year. There are so many supplementals that if you can get the common elements out of the way before Fall that will be helpful.

If you can afford it I would also suggest hiring an essay coach to help your twins lay out supplementals, deadlines and help with editing (many of the supplementals can be repurposed but there are different word counts etc). We found someone on Wyzart who was great and started meeting with them weekly over the summer. That will help you not to have to nag (or question) constantly.

The Twin college apps process is more intense than a single kid (I also have an older son so I know) but like anything twin - related if you are organized it really helps!

Not to hijack your thread but my issue now is that one of my twins is in ED and is very happy whereas my other twin was deferred. He’s not distraught and I really think it’s for the best (his ED choice was really a very last minute decision and I’m not sure it’s the best fit for him). He’s also happy for his brother. But I know he must not be feeling great and my heart hurts for him. If any other twin parent can relate I’d love to hear words of wisdom or just support!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started a new twins post as I had not seen this one. As a mom of senior twins I would recommend you start with virtual info sessions and then narrow down possibilities. I would recommend making an ED choice without visiting but for non binding applications I think it’s fine not to visit before getting admitted.

I would also recommend that your twins do their main essay over the summer and set up their Common App account (filling in what they can such as activities) before the start of senior year. There are so many supplementals that if you can get the common elements out of the way before Fall that will be helpful.

If you can afford it I would also suggest hiring an essay coach to help your twins lay out supplementals, deadlines and help with editing (many of the supplementals can be repurposed but there are different word counts etc). We found someone on Wyzart who was great and started meeting with them weekly over the summer. That will help you not to have to nag (or question) constantly.

The Twin college apps process is more intense than a single kid (I also have an older son so I know) but like anything twin - related if you are organized it really helps!

Not to hijack your thread but my issue now is that one of my twins is in ED and is very happy whereas my other twin was deferred. He’s not distraught and I really think it’s for the best (his ED choice was really a very last minute decision and I’m not sure it’s the best fit for him). He’s also happy for his brother. But I know he must not be feeling great and my heart hurts for him. If any other twin parent can relate I’d love to hear words of wisdom or just support!

I do think common sense should prevail here. No one's life is over if they don't get into a certain college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:our first time going through college apps is on the horizon (junior, same-sex twins). we are starting to think about college visits for spring break and I'm realizing how overwhelming it is to screen and consider options and then try to visit and learn about schools. Don't get me wrong, i did all my college application stuff myself and I expect my kids to do the heavy lifting for options, etc., but we still have to plan actual travel and DH and I have limited abilities given work schedule and other kids and family obligations. Any tips for how you managed logistics? also, for helping to avoid comparisons and help each child feel like they're getting time to explore what might work for them? constant struggle for us is that we just don't have a lot of time to devote to either kid, but maybe with college applications that's a good thing.

I'm sad for your kids that you don't have time for this. Please rethink your priorities, that's my advice. Your kids need you and can't do this alone. Are these your first kids applying to college? It is a different process from when you applied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:our first time going through college apps is on the horizon (junior, same-sex twins). we are starting to think about college visits for spring break and I'm realizing how overwhelming it is to screen and consider options and then try to visit and learn about schools. Don't get me wrong, i did all my college application stuff myself and I expect my kids to do the heavy lifting for options, etc., but we still have to plan actual travel and DH and I have limited abilities given work schedule and other kids and family obligations. Any tips for how you managed logistics? also, for helping to avoid comparisons and help each child feel like they're getting time to explore what might work for them? constant struggle for us is that we just don't have a lot of time to devote to either kid, but maybe with college applications that's a good thing.

I'm sad for your kids that you don't have time for this. Please rethink your priorities, that's my advice. Your kids need you and can't do this alone. Are these your first kids applying to college? It is a different process from when you applied.

You have twins? If you do, you haven't really helped the OP with this comment. If you don't, "make your kids a priority" is an absolutely ridiculous thing to say to a parent of multiples, especially when they have other kids they're juggling (presumably with school calendars that don't line up well, because they never do), and two jobs with limited vacation, etc.

To OP, as a parent of twins (and an older singleton) who just got through it this year, the mantra that worked for us was "it will all work out". But the last two years was a lot. I don't have a means of uploading the flowchart I made for managing post-acceptance visits, but it was pretty wild. I used the "canvas" tool in the app Obsidian (https://obsidian.md/canvas) to draw out a timeline of where to go, and when. Google Sheets was also really helpful, but as with most of these sorts of things, using a shared a template will be less valuable than creating your own spreadsheet customized to the things your kid is looking for, because the value is in the making. On a separate note, OP, I think you'll get more constructive support via other avenues than DCUM; College Confidential doesn't have the traffic that DCUM has, but it also doesn't have the drama. You might think about posting something there.

[Anonymous]

Parent of twins now in college. Do not have time to run through everything we did, but a couple items:

1. Our twins applied to 12 schools each, 4 of them were in common. I genuinely believe in 1-2 cases of the 4, one twin was shut out and cost both a seat. Not upset or concerned, but you have to keep in mind which major or program they are applying to and whether both are well qualified to make it in.

2. Many schools told us it was both or none. I do not think they want the hassle unless one of the twins is super-extraordinary.

3. They are individuals, not just twins - set them both up to succeed. Truly research their major at each school and consider that before school name, sports program, weather, etc.

4. Our students go to different colleges and are happy. If either had attend the other twin's college, it would not have worked because their major would have been weaker at that other school.

5. Agreed on starting early, most essays for our students were done over the summer. It made a huge difference and more enjoyable senior year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of twins now in college. Do not have time to run through everything we did, but a couple items:

1. Our twins applied to 12 schools each, 4 of them were in common. I genuinely believe in 1-2 cases of the 4, one twin was shut out and cost both a seat. Not upset or concerned, but you have to keep in mind which major or program they are applying to and whether both are well qualified to make it in.

2. Many schools told us it was both or none. I do not think they want the hassle unless one of the twins is super-extraordinary.

3. They are individuals, not just twins - set them both up to succeed. Truly research their major at each school and consider that before school name, sports program, weather, etc.

4. Our students go to different colleges and are happy. If either had attend the other twin's college, it would not have worked because their major would have been weaker at that other school.

5. Agreed on starting early, most essays for our students were done over the summer. It made a huge difference and more enjoyable senior year of high school.

I'm a twin mom of seniors who are currently applying and have more overlap than 4 schools, too. You think the "weaker" twin brought down the stronger twin? I thought the twin policy meant that the stronger ones pulls up the other one, not vice versa.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom of 2025 twins and had a split decision of very similar twins and know many other twins that had split decisions. colleges do not seem to read them as a pair even if they are alike (for better or worse). they didn't pull the other in and they didn't keep each the other out.