Intelligence

[Anonymous]

I used to work in a technical field and met some people with very very high IQ but very low EQ. They had less success than people with average/high IQ and high EQ if the role involved interaction with other people and generally lived pretty isolated private lives (I suspect some of them were undiagnosed autistic people)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am above average smarts but insanely high EQ and it has benefitted me across friendships, relationships, and career progression. But yes, exhausting is an accurate description of it.

I will say I snagged a man who is high in both realms and it has been life-changing across a million metrics to really be seen and understood.

I’m the PP who mentioned that having high EQ is exhausting. Part of that may be because my DH is high IQ and low EQ. He has evolved a lot in our marriage but I would have loved being seen and understand for 2 decades. I’m happy for you! My kids are both high EQ which is nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am above average smarts but insanely high EQ and it has benefitted me across friendships, relationships, and career progression. But yes, exhausting is an accurate description of it.

I will say I snagged a man who is high in both realms and it has been life-changing across a million metrics to really be seen and understood.

I’m the PP who mentioned that having high EQ is exhausting. Part of that may be because my DH is high IQ and low EQ. He has evolved a lot in our marriage but I would have loved being seen and understand for 2 decades. I’m happy for you! My kids are both high EQ which is nice.

DP and I'm in the same boat as you. My DH is high IQ and low EQ and it's isolating and requires a lot of skills that I didn't know I would need in life (like how to navigates someone who shuts down a few moments into a conversation involving any negative emotion, especially if that person is your partner and the conversation is about... any critical life decision). It can be very hard.

I used to consider myself high EQ but over time I've decided either I was mistaken or maybe now I'm just so weary I don't have the bandwidth. I remain a highly empathetic and understanding person but my overall communication skills have declined.

My kid is very good at talking about and articulating feelings but not good at tolerating the emotions of other people except a select few. So she's like a mix of her dad and I and I don't know whether that's high EQ or not. It's like half and half and yet somehow not in the middle. It's extremes. That's draining too.

[Anonymous]

I have extremely high IQ and average EQ. Also fast processing speed. My PhD husband whose processing speed is apparently lower than mine starting lecturing me about talking too fast and not being careful lately. I am careful and fast. I am worried he is getting dementia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These so-called “measurements” are subjective and ultimately, racially discriminatory.

Lol

[Anonymous]

High IQ and average EQ. Average EQ is good enough.

[Anonymous]

I would rather have at least moderately high IQ and exceptionally high EQ. Pretty sure that’s a proven combination for success in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to work in a technical field and met some people with very very high IQ but very low EQ. They had less success than people with average/high IQ and high EQ if the role involved interaction with other people and generally lived pretty isolated private lives (I suspect some of them were undiagnosed autistic people)

Exactly. The people with the highest EQ and at least pretty high IQ end up as the CEOs, politicians and leaders in our society. The popular people good at getting along with everyone and are also talented and skilled.

[Anonymous]

I have no doubt that people with very high EQ and "high enough" IQ are the most successful people and fill most of the normal high-level jobs in society.

I know so many people with very very high IQ (math olympians, MIT phd) who end up kind of dropping out of society. They are hard to control in job settings, they question everything, they can really get help from people like therapists unless they find ones who are more intelligent than them.

It's a very tough road. My brother was actually in this category and ended up committing suicide.

However -- I know they way these people think, and the pleasure they get from thinking, and I really believe that they would not be willing to give up that thinking and processing power in order to fit into normal society better. They wouldn't do it.