Isn't child support supposed to equalize both households?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

+1
My best friend is divorced from a very wealthy man. Everything was amicable and she got a fair settlement but her financial situation is in no way equal to her ex’s. She has gone back to work. Their children are well-provided for and her ex pays for all the expensive activities and trips but she has to manage her own expenses.

As she should.

[Anonymous]

I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

If he only had kids some weekends, then the kids were spending almost all their time at mom's. If a family is split, with one household having 1 person, and the other having at least 3, wouldn't it make sense that the larger household got more money?

If Dad had gotten more custody, then he would have kept more money. That's how the system works. So, the "I can't afford to keep the kids more" would change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

Paying child support isn’t supposed to mean you never have to buy your kid shoes or a jacket. Kids grow and are rough with their things.

And if he got meals paid for while on business travel, those are meals that didn’t come from his salary. That makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

We don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

I’m pretty sure there is a federal law that you can’t be required to pay more than 50% of your income in child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

Maybe they shouldn't run off from their marriage and family then?
90% or more of divorces are filed by women now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

I’m pretty sure there is a federal law that you can’t be required to pay more than 50% of your income in child support.

The only way that story makes sense is alimony plus child support which means he is the sole financial support. In that case of course it meant that the household with the kids would get more than half.

If he made his apartment into a “bachelor pad” then he didn’t want the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

Maybe they shouldn't run off from their marriage and family then?
90% or more of divorces are filed by women now.

Filing for divorce and being the one to end the marriage are two different things.

In plenty of marriages the person who got left is the one who files.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

We don't believe you.

No one cares what you believe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's supposed to provide a reasonable upbringing for the child. That doesn't mean equality.

This. Often men think that they must have the same living standards as their ex. No, it's all about the kids. The kids must have everything they need in the school district they stay in.

This is one of the reasons why divorce hurt men more than they hurt women. Most men experience financial hardship as a result of divorce. This hardship affects their dating experience etc.

Fathers’ financial hardships after divorce come nowhere close to mothers’. Stop extrapolating from a few high rollers. Divorce and non-payment of CS plunges many kids into poverty even when moms work FT.

Exactly: divorce hurts women WAAY more than it hurts men, statistically.

That's only because the women who are hurt "WAAY more" in divorce were free loading during marriage.

Ladies, get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met my husband shortly after his divorce was finalized. 65% of his actual income went to his ex because they counted his work travel reimbursements as income. He lived in a one bedroom apartment and for his weekends, they spent them at his parent’s house since they had room. It was sad. And they would show up needing clothes or a jacket or new shoes. His ex moved into a nicer home while he struggled.
I’m all about taking care of the kids as the priority in a divorce, but the child support calculations usually put men at a disadvantage. The kids don’t want to go to dad’s place because it’s a bachelor pad. The kids think dad doesn’t want them around since he doesn’t get a place large enough for the kids - not knowing that dad literally cannot afford a larger place.

My husband had roommates and could barely afford food. He had very little for himself. She got child support, alimony and extras while living with her ap.

[Anonymous]

Allimony pays your rent or your income. Child support is dads portion of the kids needs while in your home.