College Fit - The Background

[Anonymous]

The main point being college admissions is not as worrisome and stressful as the prestige and fit chasing college counselors make it out to be.

It is all going to be ok no matter where they end up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The snark on this forum is next level.

OP, good for you for running down “fit”. Fwiw, I chased prestige as a student, because I didn’t know any better. I don’t regret it in a sense. But I had a pretty miserable experience in a lot of ways. Hoping my kid makes a better choice if they have the chance.

See I know kids who chased social vibe and fit (aka Michigan, Wake and also Vanderbilt) and they aren’t super happy either.

So what’s the right way?

Those schools in particular have their own social fit issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a student I don't really believe in "fit," at least in the way that people on this forum describe it. I don't think high schoolers can accurately understand what they like or dislike about a college environment until they actually are in college. I found that after having stayed over with friends at many different colleges, there were many schools I really wanted to go to as a high schooler that I actually wouldn't have enjoyed, while there were a couple of schools I didn't think about seriously/didn't apply to that I regret not trying as hard for in hindsight. There's definitely some importance (don't go to Caltech as a humanities major, and if you feel the vibes are off at a certain school, it's better to avoid) but the super small differences that make the difference aren't really things you can notice from the HS perspective

I completely agree. And today's generation of kids rely a lot more on social media to determine if a particular school is a fit or not, which is a fallacy given that what they see is just a small snippet of the school experience and/or what the content creator wants the audience to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a student I don't really believe in "fit," at least in the way that people on this forum describe it. I don't think high schoolers can accurately understand what they like or dislike about a college environment until they actually are in college. I found that after having stayed over with friends at many different colleges, there were many schools I really wanted to go to as a high schooler that I actually wouldn't have enjoyed, while there were a couple of schools I didn't think about seriously/didn't apply to that I regret not trying as hard for in hindsight. There's definitely some importance (don't go to Caltech as a humanities major, and if you feel the vibes are off at a certain school, it's better to avoid) but the super small differences that make the difference aren't really things you can notice from the HS perspective

I think the idea that there is only one or two schools that would be a good fit is garbage for most kids. Most kids will be happy and do well at many different schools and I agree that sometimes the pros and cons of a place are hard to see—or understand their relevance to you— as a high school junior or senior. The “super small things” are going to be issues whenever you land because no place is perfect and that’s part of life. It is important to think seriously about what characteristics are important (or not) to you and physically visit the schools vs leaning on an online version of a university.

There are some kids for whom there truly are 1-2 colleges that are fantastic fits. DC is one of them. Very specific priorities and personality. Thankfully they identified the schools that fit those characteristics, their stats put them in the running for those schools and they were accepted (and now attend).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a student I don't really believe in "fit," at least in the way that people on this forum describe it. I don't think high schoolers can accurately understand what they like or dislike about a college environment until they actually are in college. I found that after having stayed over with friends at many different colleges, there were many schools I really wanted to go to as a high schooler that I actually wouldn't have enjoyed, while there were a couple of schools I didn't think about seriously/didn't apply to that I regret not trying as hard for in hindsight. There's definitely some importance (don't go to Caltech as a humanities major, and if you feel the vibes are off at a certain school, it's better to avoid) but the super small differences that make the difference aren't really things you can notice from the HS perspective

I think the idea that there is only one or two schools that would be a good fit is garbage for most kids. Most kids will be happy and do well at many different schools and I agree that sometimes the pros and cons of a place are hard to see—or understand their relevance to you— as a high school junior or senior. The “super small things” are going to be issues whenever you land because no place is perfect and that’s part of life. It is important to think seriously about what characteristics are important (or not) to you and physically visit the schools vs leaning on an online version of a university.

There are some kids for whom there truly are 1-2 colleges that are fantastic fits. DC is one of them. Very specific priorities and personality. Thankfully they identified the schools that fit those characteristics, their stats put them in the running for those schools and they were accepted (and now attend).

My DS focused on fit and found 9 schools, reaches, targets and safeties, that worked for him and applied to them. Fit schools aren’t dream schools which are determined by more exclusive emotional criteria. For almost all kids, it should be possible to find several fits for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a student I don't really believe in "fit," at least in the way that people on this forum describe it. I don't think high schoolers can accurately understand what they like or dislike about a college environment until they actually are in college. I found that after having stayed over with friends at many different colleges, there were many schools I really wanted to go to as a high schooler that I actually wouldn't have enjoyed, while there were a couple of schools I didn't think about seriously/didn't apply to that I regret not trying as hard for in hindsight. There's definitely some importance (don't go to Caltech as a humanities major, and if you feel the vibes are off at a certain school, it's better to avoid) but the super small differences that make the difference aren't really things you can notice from the HS perspective

I think the idea that there is only one or two schools that would be a good fit is garbage for most kids. Most kids will be happy and do well at many different schools and I agree that sometimes the pros and cons of a place are hard to see—or understand their relevance to you— as a high school junior or senior. The “super small things” are going to be issues whenever you land because no place is perfect and that’s part of life. It is important to think seriously about what characteristics are important (or not) to you and physically visit the schools vs leaning on an online version of a university.

There are some kids for whom there truly are 1-2 colleges that are fantastic fits. DC is one of them. Very specific priorities and personality. Thankfully they identified the schools that fit those characteristics, their stats put them in the running for those schools and they were accepted (and now attend).

Who says this?
I watched a PBS documentary that tracked high school kids thru college admission. I remember one girl was laser focused on Yale because it was the best. She was devastated when she didn’t get in & had to “settle” 🙄 for JHU. When the followed up after her freshman year, she realized that Yale didn’t even offer the major she was hoping for & it was a JHU strong point (the specific major escapes me). For me, that’s what fit over prestige means (laying aside JHU is a very good, very selective university). You see post here—not infrequently —that are basically: These are my kid’s stats, what’s the best uni they can get into. No reference to if the kid is into STEM, business, humanities, etc or anything appealing to the kid’s non-academic life.

I do not think fit means there’s a The One school anymore than I think there’s only one possible spouse for any person. Rather, there’s several great options with various trade-offs but you are evaluating based on the whole package (prestige, vibe, outcomes, sports, & whatever else) & not just 1 criteria (prestige determined by dubious formulas)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a student I don't really believe in "fit," at least in the way that people on this forum describe it. I don't think high schoolers can accurately understand what they like or dislike about a college environment until they actually are in college. I found that after having stayed over with friends at many different colleges, there were many schools I really wanted to go to as a high schooler that I actually wouldn't have enjoyed, while there were a couple of schools I didn't think about seriously/didn't apply to that I regret not trying as hard for in hindsight. There's definitely some importance (don't go to Caltech as a humanities major, and if you feel the vibes are off at a certain school, it's better to avoid) but the super small differences that make the difference aren't really things you can notice from the HS perspective

You aren't arguing that fit is unimportant -- you are just pointing out that you had imperfect information about potential fit as an applicant.

[Anonymous]

This fit stuff is nonsense to me. Every college has different kinds of people. Encourage your child to find people that align with them. From sporty to political to gamers to scholarly. I wanted my kids to be comfortable with themselves with all kinds of people. Once they get a real job, they will have to get along.

[Anonymous]

Putting aside the silly stuff like picking a college that doesn't have your major or one you can't afford. My problem with the "fit" is it seems to be an attempt to replace prestige with another method for having a first choice/ideal college. That is the real problem- however the student picks it unless their perfect school has very high admit rate for students like them chances are they will be disappointed and end up "settling" whether that is for somewhere lower ranked or that doesn't "fit" doesn't really matter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This fit stuff is nonsense to me. Every college has different kinds of people. Encourage your child to find people that align with them. From sporty to political to gamers to scholarly. I wanted my kids to be comfortable with themselves with all kinds of people. Once they get a real job, they will have to get along.

I used to think that; I went to VA Tech and didn't fit in the big things; Football, tailgate, drinking, or even the Engineering pride. I was annoyed that I surrounded myself with "followers" - they got into VA Tech because they did what the teachers wanted, their parents wanted, and worked hard towards what Tech wanted. I work with these "types" of people - follow a cookbook, even if it doesn't make sense. If the boss tells them to - then they do it. No argument and move up the corp ladder.

I needed to transfer and UVA is filled with even more hard-core followers.

I got to GMU - I thought GMU? what would my HS classmates think? When I met my CS classmates - they were building stuff but didn't have the GPA or the SAT. The classmates outside my major - none asked/talked about grades. If you wanted to hang then grades was not to be talked about. Time to work and time to have fun. They got me to try international dances, soccer, badminton, etc. I never did or had any interest in any of these things before. After graduation these guys got me interviews. These were my people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids go 4 years to high school without parents worrying too much about fit.

Suburban or urban or rural high does not seem to matter. Warm or cold weather does not seem to matter. Brick or gothic architecture does not seem to matter. Mountains or beach location does not seem to matter.

You just go to high school that is assigned to you. But once they turn 18, all the above seem to suddenly take an enormous importance. Things 20 years ago no one cared much about.

That is the fit fetish for you.

Don’t many parents actually care about high school fit? We picked our house based on schools which were not “the best” but solid and less crazy competitive. And we also picked the geographical area. Having lived many places, I know fit can affect happiness a lot. I did not want my kids having my experience at all in a rural, isolated area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This fit stuff is nonsense to me. Every college has different kinds of people. Encourage your child to find people that align with them. From sporty to political to gamers to scholarly. I wanted my kids to be comfortable with themselves with all kinds of people. Once they get a real job, they will have to get along.

OP, there is no such thing as fit". Kudos to you for trying to google it. "Fit"is what moms on here brag about after their kids are in college and they think/hope they nailed it and say ridiculous things like "they are living the best lives". You've got 3,000 colleges in the US and more abroad. There is no magic answer. Any good college counselor will tell you the first thing you do is figure out, with your partner, how much per year, multiplied by 4 years, and by the number of kids you have. If you don't have savings, do it out of HHI but subtract taxes. Only then - after figuring out how much you can pay - do you sit with your kid and say "we can afford X". "We are an in-state family". "We are a community college transfer, in-state Virginia Family". etc. If you can pay for USC (cal) at $99K a year, good for you. So you have that discussion.

Only then do you start discussing the size of the institution, region, possible major, interests, and chances of getting in (GPA and test scores). then you start visiting maybe four of them and see how your child reacts and then readjust your list.

YOur high school counselor will show you Naviance or Scoir or whatever data bases they have to show you your child's own chances of getting into these institutions based upon reach, target safety. Then you have to decide SCEA, ED, EA, RD.





Start with your high school counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids go 4 years to high school without parents worrying too much about fit.

Suburban or urban or rural high does not seem to matter. Warm or cold weather does not seem to matter. Brick or gothic architecture does not seem to matter. Mountains or beach location does not seem to matter.

You just go to high school that is assigned to you. But once they turn 18, all the above seem to suddenly take an enormous importance. Things 20 years ago no one cared much about.

That is the fit fetish for you.

Like Captain America, awakened after being frozen in the ice for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This fit stuff is nonsense to me. Every college has different kinds of people. Encourage your child to find people that align with them. From sporty to political to gamers to scholarly. I wanted my kids to be comfortable with themselves with all kinds of people. Once they get a real job, they will have to get along.

OP, there is no such thing as fit". Kudos to you for trying to google it. "Fit"is what moms on here brag about after their kids are in college and they think/hope they nailed it and say ridiculous things like "they are living the best lives". You've got 3,000 colleges in the US and more abroad. There is no magic answer. Any good college counselor will tell you the first thing you do is figure out, with your partner, how much per year, multiplied by 4 years, and by the number of kids you have. If you don't have savings, do it out of HHI but subtract taxes. Only then - after figuring out how much you can pay - do you sit with your kid and say "we can afford X". "We are an in-state family". "We are a community college transfer, in-state Virginia Family". etc. If you can pay for USC (cal) at $99K a year, good for you. So you have that discussion.

Only then do you start discussing the size of the institution, region, possible major, interests, and chances of getting in (GPA and test scores). then you start visiting maybe four of them and see how your child reacts and then readjust your list.

YOur high school counselor will show you Naviance or Scoir or whatever data bases they have to show you your child's own chances of getting into these institutions based upon reach, target safety. Then you have to decide SCEA, ED, EA, RD.




+1. AND THEN when your kid gets into one of the 10-12 and you install them and they manage to get through the first semester, you come on here and brag about "amazing fit".

There is no such thing.

Start with your high school counselor.

[/b]
+1. AND THEN when your kid gets into one of the 10-12 and you install them and they manage to get through the first semester, you come on here and brag about "amazing fit".

There is no such thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This fit stuff is nonsense to me. Every college has different kinds of people. Encourage your child to find people that align with them. From sporty to political to gamers to scholarly. I wanted my kids to be comfortable with themselves with all kinds of people. Once they get a real job, they will have to get along.

OP, there is no such thing as fit". Kudos to you for trying to google it. "Fit"is what moms on here brag about after their kids are in college and they think/hope they nailed it and say ridiculous things like "they are living the best lives". You've got 3,000 colleges in the US and more abroad. There is no magic answer. Any good college counselor will tell you the first thing you do is figure out, with your partner, how much per year, multiplied by 4 years, and by the number of kids you have. If you don't have savings, do it out of HHI but subtract taxes. Only then - after figuring out how much you can pay - do you sit with your kid and say "we can afford X". "We are an in-state family". "We are a community college transfer, in-state Virginia Family". etc. If you can pay for USC (cal) at $99K a year, good for you. So you have that discussion.

Only then do you start discussing the size of the institution, region, possible major, interests, and chances of getting in (GPA and test scores). then you start visiting maybe four of them and see how your child reacts and then readjust your list.

YOur high school counselor will show you Naviance or Scoir or whatever data bases they have to show you your child's own chances of getting into these institutions based upon reach, target safety. Then you have to decide SCEA, ED, EA, RD.




+1. AND THEN when your kid gets into one of the 10-12 and you install them and they manage to get through the first semester, you come on here and brag about "amazing fit".

There is no such thing.

Start with your high school counselor.

[/b]
+1. AND THEN when your kid gets into one of the 10-12 and you install them and they manage to get through the first semester, you come on here and brag about "amazing fit".

There is no such thing.

+1. OP. There is no such thing. Start with the financials. Talk to your public or private counselor and start from there. You are wasting your time on the internet.