Tell me about your very gifted child with afhd and give me strategies for high school

[Anonymous]

Their brain is still developing. It gets better. They are already getting good grades, right? You just want flawless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child is in elementary and is very gifted (FSIQ 155)

The child has adhd and what I'm seeing in middle school is though the child understands the material there are a lot of careless errors and it is affecting the grades bc school seems to be about perfection and accuracy.

Thoughts on how to help this child. I worry high school will be worse.

I am ok with low grades when learning but it is hard that most of the lower grades are due to executive functioning.

Any suggestions welcome.

This was me once.

I can’t possibly write everything I have to say so I will try to hit a few points.

First, why would you be ok with low grades for a child who struggles with the material but not for a child that struggles with executive functioning?

If your child has ADHD, their weaker executive functioning is innate to who they are. It is not a choice for them any more than it would be for them to choose to be dyslexic.

I struggled greatly in elementary school and generally found it an absolutely miserable experience, partially because many judged me for the things I found really hard.

In terms of my enjoyment things actually got better with each subsequent tier of school though I was never a good student. In high school I took the hardest possible load of courses and consistently did… ok. I was a solid B student, which seemed to shock everyone because they assumed I must be at or near the top of the class.

For college admissions purposes I was the classic super high test scores mediocre grades kid… which is probably an even worse position today than it was for me. Fortunately, I was also a strong athlete and was recruited by an academically strong school. My life has turned out well. I have hit all the usual milestones and found a career I have excelled at.

Tips:

Your child should play to their strengths. Yes, there are all kinds of things they can (and should) do to shore up their relative deficits but ultimately it is their strengths that will carry them.

Some routine things will be hard for your child but some hard things will be easy.

I remember struggling in school, but I also remember state level academic decathlon, robotics, and science fairs. A hobby engineering project got me into my first real job and opened the door to what became a career.

Your child should practice making and using routines and checklists, they won’t stop them from forgetting things but at least they will usually arrive home with their backpack.

Medication was a mixed bag for me. I will leave that to the MDs.

Extra time on tests and all that is fine but the real challenge was doing homework and forcing myself to double check my answers, etc. If they are working on a screen have them check their answers on paper. I find going from one medium to another makes me see things differently. (I still print things out for a final review.)

I don’t think there is an easy answer for executive functioning. It got easier for me with age and maturity, but I also found that for those things that did capture my attention didn’t require the same effort.

Beware video games, social media, and other engrossing distortions. A child that struggles with executive functioning and loses track of time can easily play video games to the exclusion of everything else without really meaning to.

[Anonymous]

Mom of 3 kids in AAP with ADHD. This is a very common problem with math. I have been working with my 7th grader in math and making her complete all problems on a wide ruled lined paper. She has to highlight the different parts of the instructions on the test to make sure she noticed all the steps. I’m working with her to have her highlight all + - x \ signs as well (this is a work in progress) because this is where she makes the most mistakes.

All three kids are on ADHD meds which has helped immensely.

[Anonymous]

We hired an executive function tutor in middle school to help our child with putting systems into place to manage the increasing course load. Now they are a junior and the work has tripled but they are on top of it because they’ve had time to use and revise those system so they wrote for them. It was really helpful in launching DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hired an executive function tutor in middle school to help our child with putting systems into place to manage the increasing course load. Now they are a junior and the work has tripled but they are on top of it because they’ve had time to use and revise those system so they wrote for them. It was really helpful in launching DC.

Something we did as well with oldest child. Definitely helped along with IEP/504 plans. Made it through high school with 4.0+ (yes, not the achievement it once was) and did well on SAT. Was accepted to a well regarded college and did well freshman year (school provides accommodations and no issues as a sophomore.

In DS’s case executive function through work and developing mechanism to stay on track has improved every year.