Financial tradeoffs when deciding whether to move for better schools

[Anonymous]

This is a hard decision and there is no right answer if you feel reasonably secure about your kids' physical safety and the availability of a basic college preparatory curriculum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We bought our "starter" home in a low-rated school pyramid before we had kids, with the thought that we would move sometime during elementary school. Now that we have kids and are settled in here, we're having trouble deciding whether this makes sense. Our house is big enough for our family, we have friends in the neighborhood, and if we moved to a better school district we would have to make a number of tradeoffs.

If we stay, we will be able to fully fund retirement+college+grad school while also being able to take a couple of nice family vacations a year and generally not have to think much about money or budgeting. If we move we wouldn't be living paycheck to paycheck or anything, but we would have to pay close attention to our budget and would have a lot less left over for vacation, camps, extracurriculars, etc.

On one hand, I feel bad wanting to live an easier life at the expense of a potentially better education for my kids. On the other hand, I feel like having involved parents who care about education is half the battle when dealing with poorly rated schools, and the lifestyle we'll be able to live will be better for all. Would appreciate any thoughts from those who went through a similar decision!

you are correct---having concerned involved parents is way more than half the battle. Having a good neighborhood with friends and parents you trust is a good thing. So unless the schools are "unsafe" I'd consider staying, becoming involved in the schools (PTA, etc) and supplement as needed. If you really dont like the schools then move after K-2.

We lived in an area where the schools were good, but our ES had over 35% Free/reduced lunch (unlike many other ES in our district). But it didnt' bother me because its an area where lower/struggling parents specifically move here for the schools, so to me it's "lower income kids" whose parents want to make a difference and value education, and that is very different than just many other places. We loved the schools. Trust me when I say the "wealthier schools" also have issues, kids who are entitled and parents who think the kid is an angel when they are not. And you can get a bad teacher at any school.

[Anonymous]

Good school pyramids are overrated IMHO. you are paying higher RE costs because you hope good schools will really educate your kids and set them up for success and help them thrive and immerse them in some culture of success. It's not true. It's still entirely up to you and mostly it is parental involvement that gets these high ratings and scores.

What schools provide is competitive environment and tougher grading standards to have your kids work harder to get that A, especially in AP classes (and there is peer pressure to take more AP classes than needed). This means that if you give it to school to educate your kids and you aren't deeply involved, monitoring their progress, sending them to tutors if they are struggling with anything in timely manner then your kids are not going to be better off than graduating from lower rated schools. In fact they may be A students in a weaker school district while in top rated districts they may struggle to get a B. Also, overall culture isn't always as academic or personal growth oriented as you think. There is a lot of internet influence, and culture of brain rot and drugs and promiscuity too even in wealthier top rated school districts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did this, OP. Our kids were in elementary school and we moved to a much better school pyramid within the same district. We doubled our mortgage and have a much higher interest rate because of bad timing, and do not regret it one bit.

The differences in the schools is like night and day. There are fewer disruptive kids, the difference between the lowest performing and the highest performing children is smaller than at the old school, and there is less teacher turnover at this school, and therefore more experienced teachers. Most importantly - both of our children are excelling and the one that had previously been doing really poorly in school has improved significantly.

I can't say if it will be the right decision for you, but it was absolutely the right decision for us.

Same here. We moved literally 10 minutes away but to a much better school system. Our kids hang out with other kids from normal homes and working parents. My friend works as a teacher in one of the schools where we used to live and says that classrooms are a disaster ( like kids who cannot hold pen and are already in the 3rd grade, lots of non-English speaking kids whose parents don't have opportunity to take care of them).

[Anonymous]

How bad are the schools? I heard about bad schools in DC for decades. My kid went through DCPS and is doing great in college.
Both of my kids have very high achieving group of friends. They have been bigger influence than schools. I have no idea what they learn in school. This is me enjoying my easy life.
My kids have the capacity to do well. A few low performing kids in class can't do much about it.
If your children are happy with schools, and mine are and were, why move.
I'd get a math tutor if you are worried.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would move. But I realise many people prioritise wealth over education of their children so I would imagine I am in the minority.

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like us fifteen years ago. Affordable house with bad schools or an expensive house with good schools? We chose the latter and feel like we traded down in house (though it cost more) but bought into an area where the other parents also chose the neighborhood for the schools. It has been every bit as good as we had hoped, but not for the schools alone - mostly it’s the like-minded people we found. Our kids went though the public schools and made it to great colleges and we all have lifelong friends from the area.

[Anonymous]

Our kids have absolutely flourished in a “bad” school. It’s a great community with a lot of parent support. Don’t regret a thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I would move. But I realise many people prioritise wealth over education of their children so I would imagine I am in the minority.

Oh please.

[Anonymous]

This really depends on the schools and your kids and their needs.

I also am having a hard time understanding the delta here. Being able to fully fund retirement, colleges AND grad school for multiple kids, AAAAND vacations is a tremendous amount of money. It seems like 1 move, even from a 500K house to a 1.2M house, wouldn't put much of a dent in that kind of capacity, and if it did, it might look like no or less grad school which is not really a huge deal. Also, if your kids are in elementary you have plenty of time to recover.

Can you give us more specific examples? Like is this a Magruder vs. Whitman thing or a Dunbar vs. suburbs thing or something else?

[Anonymous]

We decided to move.
We ended up living in our “starter home” for 20 years and paid it off fully. Our child came late due to struggles with infertility. We moved last year from a school with 85% FARMS to one that is 10% and took on a sizable mortgage at 7% even with our equity.
No regrets at all. We don’t buy into the theory that the school environment doesn’t matter as long as the parents are very involved at home. We can actually build a community here.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on just how bad the schools in your neighborhood are, especially within FCPS.

We stayed in our starter home, in a neighborhood similar to Lake Braddock, West Springfield, Woodson vs moving to somewhere like McLean and Langley. Our kids have thrived and they and their peers have all been accepted into very good colleges. The same type of bell curve I would expect from other schools, so some Ivy and other top rated schools, some SLAC, the standard large group at UVA and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on just how bad the schools in your neighborhood are, especially within FCPS.

We stayed in our starter home, in a neighborhood similar to Lake Braddock, West Springfield, Woodson vs moving to somewhere like McLean and Langley. Our kids have thrived and they and their peers have all been accepted into very good colleges. The same type of bell curve I would expect from other schools, so some Ivy and other top rated schools, some SLAC, the standard large group at UVA and the like.

Is this a joke? LB/WS/Woodson are all very good schools.

[Anonymous]

Like others have said, I think that it really depends on the details of your current school system. My spouse and I both grew up in families where money was tight, and started out in less-than-stellar public school districts. My parents decided to stay put, and my in-laws decided to move - and in retrospect, I think that both families made the right decisions.

My school was good enough - I was safe and supported, with enough opportunities to learn and a good cohort of friends who also intended to go to college. My spouse's school (and overall community) was much tougher - academically inclined kids were made fun of and my spouse didn't fit in, at all. Had they stayed, it probably would have gotten much worse

My spouse and I both ended up with graduate degrees, successful careers, and a lifelong love of learning.

[Anonymous]

One very old data point for you: My siblings and I all graduated from public schools in one of the lowest-rated school districts in California. I had a mix of bad, middling, and truly extraordinary teachers in middle and high school. (My elementary teachers were all great.) Siblings and I all graduated from good universities and went on to be gainfully employed, and I wouldn’t trade the experience of attending a super diverse (in every way) high school for anything.